I was thinking last evening as I was reading a gay erotic romance (note my terminology) how fascinating the male prostate is in the context of these books. I can’t count the number of times the prostate is mentioned in gay (or M/M) romances in connection with teh buttsecks, probably almost as much as the other delightfully sinful terms for penis. And I wondered … how much do women really know about this unimaginably erotic part of a man’s body? Let’s face it, we women don’t have the equipment and therefore, I assume, don’t know from personal experience the incredible sensations that a man feels when this gland is touched during anal sex, yet it’s described in vivid detail all the time in these books.
So this question is directed to the guys out there in blogland (women can respond as well). Are the erotic sensations and arousal when the prostate is touched (as described in M/M or gay romances written by women) truly what you feel during anal sex? I posed this question to a few of my gay guy friends and all I got were strange looks; I don’t think it’s such a weird question. I would really like to write a gay erotic romance but I want to make sure before I begin this journey that I conduct all the necessary research and I thought this would be a great place to start. So just the facts please – and don’t mislead me just for the fun of it *g* because this is serious business so that I can get my “author” badge. I was going to post pictures but I’m sure it’s not necessary since you all know what a prostate looks like, don’t you? From my initial research all I could find out is that the prostate is slightly larger than a walnut (hey, I eat walnuts) and a lot of medical mumbo jumbo – so not what I was looking for! I did discover that there is a similar gland in women (who knew?) called Skene’s gland and its location would lead me to believe that maybe this is the elusive G Spot or Bermuda Triangle that I was trying to find a couple of weeks ago, but that’s another research project.
So guys, I really need your help here! Do you feel the same sensations described in M/M or gay romances when your prostate gland is touched during you know what? *g*
If you’re shy and prefer to respond by email feel free to do so. My email address is jessewave@gmail.com
Interesting question, and one that I hope you’re able to get an answer to. 🙂
I did get a couple of very revealing answers on this post on livejournal. I’m hoping that at least one of the respondents to the question will post here as well since his comments were based on personal knowledge of the subject matter *g*
Hi Wave!
Oh, tough question. Not because I mind talking about the subject, but because it’s something even harder to talk about if you speak English only as a second language. But I’ll give my very best! 🙂
I for one never had a problem with believing the things I read in gay erotic romance about anal sex. Most things overlapped pretty much with my personal experiences in that regard.
I would refer to myself as being very versatile, but I really like to be fucked, because I like to feel wanted and desired, and having a guy want to be inside of me is a major turn on for me. Another reason I bottom pretty often is that being a top does make you tire kinda fast and sometimes I’m just too lazy. ;)) But usually it depends on the person I am with and also sometimes the circumstances.
What annoyes me sometimes is that some books describe the whole experience pretty one dimensional. The one being fucked doesn’t necessarily have to be the one being passive and giving up control, but this way it’s described in a lot of books. He can very well be the active part and the one in charge. I for example tend to be very aggressive when I bottom. 😉
I just noticed that I got lost in my own thoughts and didn’t even mention the word prostate just once in my comment. *lol*
Ok, let me think… I would say that the stimulation of the prostate is only a part of the whole experience of being fucked, even though it definitely plays a major part when it comes to the orgasm. During sex I would say the feeling of being entered, feeling the other guy move inside of you and the stimulation of the prostate are equally important parts of the fucking amazing experience of being fucked. *g*
When it’s time for the orgasm it definitely heightens the level of the orgasm compared to let’s say a hand job where only the penis is stimulated. And sometimes you even have the experience of seeing white lights in front of your eyes and having your body shudder as if electric jolts run through your body. Those are special times… 🙂
If you got any more questions, fire away!
Christian
Christian my friend
Thank you so much. This is definitely the kind of information I was looking for and need. You touched on all the points quite eloquently and you could not have done any better in German, I don’t think.
If I think of anything else I will definitely email you (although I can’t imagine that you have omitted any information) *g* Your answer was quite comprehensive.
Wave, I love your kind of serious business@ questions 🙂 ! I was hoping you’d get answers because I was curious too and Christian just provided a terrific one! Thanks Christian!
Hi Mary
How are you today?
I’m a great believer that if you don’t ask the questions you’ll never know the answers. Christian always comes to the rescue and I really appreciate his help on this and other posts where I’m really seeking answers.
Where are you now?
being a top does make you tire kinda fast and sometimes I’m just too lazy. 😉
Are you sure we didn’t date? 😉 LOL
Damn, guys have it so easy. If I believed in reincarnation, I’d ask to come back as a switch-hitting gay man.
Christian, you’re a doll (that’s a good ol’ Texas compliment, not a slur). I love seeing you around on the blogs. 🙂
Jen
You forget – Christian bats for the other team so he couldn’t possibly have dated you *g* How do you like his snazzy new icon? I think it rocks!!
I’d ask to come back as a switch-hitting gay man OK Jen, I think you’re getting carried away *g*
Wow, very interesting question. Everything I (female) know about it is from some detailed descriptions in Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. You might check it out.
Thank you Nicola. I certainly will check out Outlander. I wonder if you could email me the link to the article if you don’t mind? Thanks. My email is jessewave@gmail.com. I’m finding out a lot of information which is dispelling myths on the whole area of gay sex.
I’m one of those “inquiring minds” types who has flat out asked male friends and partners, gay and straight alike (yes I even dated a gay man once… looong story…) about the mysterious workings of their anatomy. Thanks Christian for confirming/reaffirming the role of the prostate, reasons for bottoming, etc.
I can’t speak for all m/m authors, but I personally focus on prostate stimulation in my m/m stories for a few reasons. I like to describe how it is from the receiving end so that female readers who may not be too keen on anal sex, but are well aware of heightened vaginal intercourse due to stimulation of their clitoris or, yes, even the elusive G-spot, can better relate to the sensations experienced by the character. I also like to show the top’s knowledge of where to find the prostate and how to best stimulate it for the same reasons my het heroes know what the clitoris is for — nothing sexier than a man who will take some time with his partner and ensure their pleasure before his own!
Katrina – Great comment. Thank you for always stepping up to the plate in these discussions. You have certainly given straight females (and, dare I say, lesbians) some food for thought. Nothing like being a bit daring in an area where it counts the most.
Jesse,
Hi how are you? This is Ozakie from the yahoo group. I want to say thanks for the love that you have given me (along with the others)..
To answer your question, during sex one time (and unfortunately for me one time thus far) I have had what I can best describe as an anal orgasm. It was this intense feeling for the lack of the better word bc my prostrate was being hit over and over but it was what I would call a “good hurt” does that make sense? My entire body was trembling (so if anybody ever saw that scene in Unfaithful with Diane Lane right before her first encounter it was exactly like that but I shook after the fact..lol..like violent trembling like body was in seizure. It was the most intense feeling I could ever imagine and to make things ever more incredible it come over in waves and waves so yes men can have multi-orgasms.
I do remember thinking if this is what women experiences when they ever get a multiple orgasm then there is this whole other territory of pleasure that I didnt know existed.
Hope answers your question somewhat
Jesse – great question! As a gay man who has developed a real liking for M/M romances, I’ve given some thought to the whole prostate thing (and I’m also thinking about writing a M/M romance myself).
I’ve found that some of the descriptions of guy’s responses to prostatic stimulation seem a little bit over the top to me. Don’t get me wrong – it feels great to have your prostate massaged, and having it nailed by a hard co…er…um…penis…can be pure heaven, but I have never had the mind-blowing, white-light experiences that I read in these stories. Part of it may be due to the fact that I’ve never been an avid bottom, or an avid fan of anal sex, for that matter. For me, prostate stimulation is only a small part of the overall experience, and really no more important than the smell of a sweaty armpit, the feel of a lover’s lips on my neck, or a tongue sliding along the sole of my foot (one of my personal favorites). What I’m getting at is, there are other parts of the male anatomy to explore – think about going there, too.
Mark
Hi Mark
Thank you so much for your very frank response. Comments from other gay men confirm what you have said.
Since you’re thinking of writing a book you may be interested in the comments on my Livejournal page. Unfortunately the post is “locked” and comments are only available to “friends” but if you are on lj and would like access to my page please email me at jessewave@gmail.com. and I’ll “friend” you so that you can see the comments.
I do intend to post a summary of all the comments that I receive on the blog, but it will only be a summary and some of the comments are quite extensive.
Thanks again for responding Mark. I do appreciate it.
Hi Ozakie
Thank you for commenting You have certainly provided a different perspective and I appreciate your input and the fact that you have been so frank. Your response and others will be summarized in an upcoming post and I think you’re great to provide this information.
How’s the reading going? I hope you were able to get started with a few M/M books and that you’re enjoying them.
Have a great day.
Wave
Wave,
U are so welcome. Im reading some all of the stories that u have suggested. I cant wait to start buying the books up. Amazon has some amazing deals where u can get books from Ally, Josh, Jet, Laura and the like for like 20.00 for 2 books..im about to become a junkie.