Rick Reed is always happy to entertain you and today is no different. You may take exception to some of his conclusions but they are hilarious, regardless whether you agree or not. Here’s what he has to say about being a slut or a cock whore – take your choice. 🙂
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I have always considered myself a libertine, someone who subscribes to the old adage: if it feels good, do it.
In the midst of gay equality, one group that often gets shoved aside are those of us who present a more shocking, but no less loving, nature to the more conservative right wing. It is for these proud and daring gay men that I proudly submit the following.
The Truth—and the Myths—About Being a Slut
It’s not easy being a slut. Maligned, judged, and often misperceived, we sluts are often thought of as having no values, when the opposite is true: most sluts are filled with the milk of human kindness (or some fluid like that)…that’s why we end up being called sluts. So I’ve come up with this list of truths and falsehoods about being a slut, in an effort to educate the public on this often misunderstood segment of our populace.
1. A slut will sleep with anybody. False! Sluts often have very high standards. Just because we’ve been the pleasure connection to thirty gentlemen in one weekend doesn’t mean that we weren’t choosy. Just lucky…
2. A slut thinks about sex all the time. True. If you’re a good, practicing slut, most other concerns of life take a backseat (as you often do!) to when, where, and with whom you’ll have your next orgasm.
3. A slut has low self-esteem. Bullshit. Whoever started this line of malarkey was just jealous. Sluts simply realize what a gift their sexual organs are and are unselfish enough not to hold those gifts back from worthy admirers.
4. A slut is like a Petri dish, growing all sorts of nasty bacteria and viruses on their person. Well, this is both true and false. An inescapable reality of sluthood is that it’s like playing Russian Roulette. Sooner or later, you’re going to come down with a bug or two. But good sluts realize this and make it a point to know what preventative measures they can take and visit their doctors regularly.
5. A slut preys on the young. Yeah, right. Does that make Bill Clinton a slut? Wait, don’t answer that. A true slut knows that tasty sexual partners come in all shapes, sizes…and ages. Youth has its charms, but with age comes experience, wisdom, and hopefully, control…
6. A slut just can’t get enough. True. And what’s wrong with that? Sex feels good…it’s making someone else feel good, so where’s the problem? If you’re slut, you know that enough is never enough, unless it’s right after…then a cigarette or a bowl of Ben and Jerry (the ice cream!) sounds a whole lot better than having a big howitzer stuffed up some juicy orifice. Or does it?
7. Sluts smell bad. False. A slut, more than anyone else, knows that clean is sexy.
8. Sluts are open minded. True. A real slut knows there’s no end to sexual pleasure and what can bring it on, thus she or he doesn’t limit herself or himself to discovering the joy that a particular mammal, battery-operated device, latex lovely, fruit/veg, etc. can bring.
9. Sluts make bad husbands or wives. False. A true self-proclaimed slut has learned a thing or two about honesty, being true to yourself, and being communicative about needs. All those things add up to knowing how to make a relationship work.
10. Sluts are the answer to world peace. True. So true. Who do you think coined the phrase: make love, not war?
So, sluts unite…again and again and again. And let me know where you’re uniting (and if you have a sling). Slut Pride…it’s time has come.
The piece above is included in my latest release, Tales from the Sexual Underground, just released by MLR Press. If you’d like to read more essays and stories like the above, I hope you’ll check out the book. You can purchase it directly from MLR here: And, as a thank you for reading, I would like to offer a free copy of Tales from the Sexual Underground in the ebook format of your choice to one lucky slut, er, reader. Simply leave a comment below and the adorable Wave will pick a winner and post it tomorrow.
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Since this will save me from a separate post as a “free” book on the site I am enclosing the blurb from Rick’s book here –
I wanted to write about people who were not just out, but out there, people who lived their sexual lives in ways most of us could only imagine…and for whom the flavor vanilla had absolutely no appeal. I interviewed porn stars, prostitutes, self-proclaimed sex pigs, and delved into bizarre sexual practices. It was eye-opening, arousing, and a lot of fun (but never, never good clean fun). I also include here my favorite dirty stories. They all explore a side of life that exists not in the twilight zone, but in my favorite destination…the sexual underground.
Rick, this post is brilliant! I’m still laughing and I’m going to have to get a copy of Sluts United – uhm – Tales of the Sexual Underground.
At last, in our defense. As I’ve said often, you do twenty or thirty guys at a party and right off the bat people start saying ugly things about you.
Victor
You are so right, Victor. It’s all about LOVE, honey. And what’s wrong with that?
That was frigging hilarious! Thanks for making me smile this a.m., Rick. As said above, brilliant.
Congrats on Tales of the Sexual Underground, wishing you many sales!
Jessica
You guys are too funny. Thank you for enlightening me as to the way of the slut. I’ve always assumed they smelled good though, since who wants to have fun with a smelly person. Not nice.
Perhaps the United Nations should stop sending out peace keeping forces and start recruiting platoons of sluts to make the world a better place. I’m sure the recruitment efforts would be easy peasy.
Thanks for the Friday morning smile.
LOL GREAT essay Rick. I once met a young guy (18) online who admitted he was a slut–but proud and happy of it. He didn’t apologize and could care less what other people thought. Before then I held sluts in low esteem but, after talking to him, I started to change my mind. Your essay just solidified what he told me–sluts are not sick pathetic people. They just enjoy sex (like we all should) and see nothing wrong with sleeping around. Northing wrong with that:)
I just know that SLUTS has to stand for something…great post, Rick. Thanks for the chuckle.
L
Great post, Rick! *snicker* Too funny.
I’m with Serena here, your post, Rick, is hilarious and so very true 😀
OMG, Rick, you are just totally off the chain. Have you been peeking in my diary??? LOL
Much wisdom doth thou speaketh.
Well, thank God for that. I’ve been a self-proclaimed slut for many years. What you say is oh, so true, despite the humor with which it has been presented. Also, being a slut is just FUN.
I have a bi-sexual character, a werewolf who lives to “get his were on” who is a true slut and has a post on my blog called “I’d Fuck You.” But no one ever seemed to get his point about being a slut. I can see that if you read it, Rick… you’d get it.
Fabulous post, Rick. Thanks for brightening my Friday morning!! 🙂
This was the best way to start out my day! *smirks*
I was long ago in a land faraway a bit of a slut, but unfortunately I found I wasn’t cut out for the lifestyle. My friends would kick my ass for saying this, but I admire sluts. *hides under desk* I always had the tendency to get too damned emotionally attached and always admired those who just enjoyed sex for the sake of sex.
There is a young man who I know that I refer to as “Coffee Dude” he’s twenty-six and a hoot. When we get a chance we just hang out and chat.
He’s made the following statement, “I love sex–who doesn’t? I never make promises and I’m always upfront with my partners and tell them, I’m not looking for a long term relationship, I find you attractive, and I’d love to fuck you. If you’re looking for more than damn good sex then you’re looking at the wrong guy.
Have to admire a man who can be that upfront and make no apologies about it. 😉
Congrats, on the new book Rick and may the slut flag stand proud and tall.
For most people, it’s a quick and easy way to classify the difference in other people’s sex drives. They’re normal, of course; anyone with a lower sex drive is pitiable and should take medication; and anyone with a higher sex drive is a slut.
LOOOOOL. It looks like being a good slut is an art, and you seem to have mastered it admirably :). This was a hoot to read and thanks for the laugh! Points to Victor for his comment too. *g*
Have you ever seen the British show Torchwood? The main hero is Captain Jack. The actor is gay, born and raised near me in Joliet, IL…but the character he plays is multi-sexual…not JUST bi, but welcomes everyone! Even aliens he never saw before…he figures they all must have an orifice SOMEWHERE! He’s the kind of slut who wears his rampant (pun intended) sexuality proudly. Ah, to be young again! Happily and monogamously married for close to 30 years, I remain an unrepentant former slut!
From Tam’s comment, I love the image of platoons of sluts sweeping the world… Hee hee.
I love your writing, Rick. Thanks for the chance to win one of your books.
Jase
vslavetopassionv(at)aol(dot)com
I have never seen Torchwood, but many people have told me I should. After hearing about Captain Jack, it’s now a must-see. Thanks for the tip.
Two words Rick:
Absolutely Fabulous
Two more:
Freakin Hilarious
Loved this, can’t wait to read Tales from the Sexual Underground.
ElaineG
Finally! So tired of being maligned. Thank you for being my champion, Rick! I’ll take one in your honor at the bookstore tonight. 😉
I’m afraid I’m too much of a romantic sap to be a slut. Damn! But I’m curious about the mammal thing…
Great post, Rick! 🙂
Ah… to be a slut… or to have sex period with any person that catches your fancy. I think you have to have some major confidence to take on a world full of rejection and still come out on top. Or bottom, maybe both. ^_^
Sluts are the answer to world peace! Ahh how true! So can I be a slut when I am having sex with the same person over and over agin?
LOL! Very funny post, Rick!
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Of course I do feel the need to point one thing out. Some of us who MAY have possibly uttered a fowl word or two about a slut over the years, might have been misunderstood as well.
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Perhaps, in our own misguided and slightly neurotic way, we were secretly hoping you’d get fed up…forcing something into our mouths in order to shut us up, already. Just a theory, mind you. I’m certainly not admitting to anything here. : )
Thanks so much for the wonderful interview and insightful honesty. As a student of life, I’ve come to the same conclusions about sluts myself, but can’t become one due to the “high standards” thing. The pickings are far too slim in backwater towns, and most desirable males are kept under lock and key. Damn the luck!
No studies have ever been shown that lifting weights stunts or inhibits growth. Sex Sling
I’ve always said sluts got a bad rap. All the ones I’ve known have always been happy, good natured people…must be from all the happy hormones from all that sex. I agree with everyone else. If the world was filled with sluts, there would be no war. Sluts unite indeed!
Good blog dude Thanks