Title: Out of My Mind
Author: M.L. Rhodes
Publisher: Amber Allure
Genre: Contemporary M/M
Length: Extended Novella (35K words)
Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5
Summary Review: Can best friends and partners become lovers and remain friends? Rafferty and Nick prove that you can, but only after a lot of angst, soul searching and heartache.
THE BLURB
For four years Rafferty Jones and Nick Tucker have worked side-by-side as police detectives in their small Maine town. But lately, Rafferty’s imagination has been creating fantasies about Nick—more specifically, about Nick and him together—that have shocked Rafferty. Detailed erotic scenarios a thirty-something, set-in-his-ways straight man shouldn’t be imagining. He’s been struggling to keep them secret, afraid that if Nick discovers the truth it will end their friendship. But with each passing day it’s getting harder and harder to pretend Nick is “just” a friend. And harder and harder for Rafferty to come to terms with the possibility he might not be as straight as he’s always believed.
Nick’s always known he’s gay and he’s had deep feelings for Rafferty for years. But after a difficult experience at his former police precinct in Boston, he decided when he moved to Maine to keep his sexual orientation under wraps on the job. He wants to be acknowledged at work for what he can do, not who he’s doing. And with Rafferty being straight, there’s always been a clear-cut line that Nick’s known he can’t cross with his unsuspecting partner and best friend. And yet…for the past few months it’s become difficult to remember that line. He’s not sure why, he just knows that for the first time in four years his heart and his body are urging him to go for what he really wants…Rafferty.
When a stormy weekend trip on Rafferty’s boat gives birth to an unexpected night of passion, will it be the spark they need to forge a new and deeper relationship? Or will Nick’s past and Rafferty’s fear drive a wedge between them that will destroy not only their barely-begun love affair, but their partnership and friendship as well?
THE REVIEW
Since transferring to Cavanaugh Bay PD after an unfortunate series of events at his last precinct in Boston Nick had bonded with his new partner Rafferty Jones and they became best friends. The two men shared everything as partners, and when Raff was seriously injured 15 months earlier by a drunk driver and almost died, Nick was the one who stayed by his bedside until he was out of immediate danger. Rafferty’s wife had been unavailable. During Raff’s long convalescence from his injuries Nick was the one who was always there and on whom Raff depended.
Now Rafferty is going crazy. For weeks he had been trying not to imagine himself in bed with his partner Nick, but it’s not working and in fact was getting worse. He was really struggling to figure out why he was being overwhelmed by these sexual feelings for Nick and wet dreams. After all, he had been straight all his life and just because he was recently divorced from his cheating wife didn’t mean that he was off women for good and had switched sides. But giving himself pep talks didn’t help. Everything Nick did now had sexual undertones and Raff felt like he was going crazy with lust.
Nick who is gay had been in love with Raff for 4 years but never let on because he knew that his partner was straight and, in addition, he was very much married, even though his wife was a piece of work. Lately, he noticed that Raff had been looking at him strangely and the heat coming off him was enough to steam up whichever room he was in. However it wasn’t until they went away for a weekend trip on Raff’s boat “Out of My Mind” that those out of control feelings exploded.
It started off like every other trip they had taken on the boat, except this time Rafferty was avoiding looking at or talking to Nick, who decided to get to the bottom of whatever was bothering his partner. Things weren’t going well and by the time they went to sleep that night Nick still didn’t know what the problem was. It wasn’t until a sudden storm came up that everything changed between them. In the middle of the night they were awakened by strong winds and driving rain and the boat was being buffeted by the waves. Things went from bad to worse when Nick was swept overboard into the raging waters. In what seemed like hours but was really minutes before Nick was rescued, Raff realized how much the other man meant to him and how devastated he would be if Nick were no longer on this earth. When Nick was back on board Raff didn’t want him out of his sight as they held on to each other in relief that he was still alive. One thing led to another, they started kissing and eventually they made love. When M.L. Rhodes writes sex scenes they are hotter than an oven and this book was no exception as Nick and Raff made up for all the time they had lost.
But their new sexual chemistry could cause a splinter in their working relationship as they try to remain friends while navigating some very troubled waters, which had nothing to do with the sea. Things could never be the same. They couldn’t go back to the status quo now that they realized how much they meant to each other in an ‘up close and personal’ sense.
This is one of my favourite M.L. Rhodes’ reads which I first read in 2007 when the book was released . I fell in love with Nick Tucker and Rafferty Jones, two tough detectives who had to make difficult decisions about their careers and personal relationship which at times had competing objectives. The protagonists are fully three dimensional and the dialogue was believable as the guys confronted how difficult it was going to be to change from friends and partners and become lovers, in the glare of living in a small town and working as police detectives. Raff’s angst and uncertainly about his sexual orientation and what being with Nick would mean to his career was understandable. Nick’s despondence and frustration as he saw his longed-for dream slipping through his fingers just when he thought he had it in the palm of his hands, broke my heart. The emotions of both men were very much on the surface as they dealt with the unexpected situation of becoming lovers.
If you’re looking for a romance with lots of angst and soul searching and two deeply committed characters who let it all hang out, I think Out Of My Mind will fit the bill. M.L. Rhodes did an excellent job on the story and the characters and kept moving the yardstick when I least expected it. The pacing was fast, especially on the boat, and the action was realistic when Nick fell into the sea and had to be rescued. Raff’s agony was heartbreaking as he tried to find his partner in the dark with not much to guide him other than his orange life jacket. I loved this book 3 years ago and still do and I hope that if you get it the characters will grow on you as much as they did with me, even if at times Rafferty frustrates you with his indecisiveness. Highly recommended.
The author is writing a sequel to this story called In Too Deep but I have no idea when it will be released.
This one is firmly on my keepers shelf and I have re-read it many times.
I love boats myself so I am very happy with that aspect of the story.
Hi Ingrid
I’m so glad that you love this story. I have re-read it many times as well. I hope that other readers love it as much as we both do.
4.5 stars? Get up on the wrong side of the bed, Wave? This is definitely a 5 and personally I have it as a DIK. I’m sure M.L. woke up this morning with a backache from you stabbing her in the back with this rating. kidding………..just kidding
Great review! I haven’t reread this book in a while, but I’ve been thinking about it. And she does have a sequel planned.
John
You are so funny. Stabbing ME in the back about my rating and I know that M.L. won’t be upset because this book is 4.5 stars. Some of us are not as generous as others.
I love this book regardless and it’s one of my comfort reads.
Great review Wave. I read this a while back and have been waiting for the sequel. I liked how complex the characters seemed, struggling with making their relationship work – rather like real life.
Hi TJ
As you can tell, I really love this book despite John harrassing me about the rating. 🙂 4.5 stars for me is pretty high these days.
I keep asking M.L. about when we can expect In Too Deep (she’s
noncommittal) but I hope it will be after Circle of Ariend. I think it’s amazing when any author’s books are just as enjoyable years later.
This takes place in Maine? Okay, I’ve got to read it…thanks for the review, Wave! Sounds great.
L
Leslie
Yes it’s set in Maine and I had no idea that the speech patterns were so different (other than the southern states like Alabama and Mississippi vs NYC) 🙂 I think you’ll really love the characters as well as the setting and I believe there’s a Kindle version of the book.
Great review. 🙂
I read this when it first came out and really liked it. I didn’t know there was a possible sequel in the works. Awesome!
Lily
I think every person who read this book loves it. And yes, M.L. is writing a sequel – the cover is on the site in the “Coming Soon” carousel, but I don’t know how soon is “soon”. 🙂
Comfort read.Re-read several times.
Nick and Rafferty – you want to cuddle(sometimes throttle) them every ten seconds.
Great review,Wave.Thank you!
Seems like John is out of his mind with M.L.`s books.Lol.
Simsala
Exactly my reaction. I wanted to throttle Raff especially from time to time, 🙁 but in the end he came through.
New M/M readers have been asking me to review books that were released before they became fans of the genre so I’m trying to do my best to choose books they may like – Easy by Ally Blue; Lola Dances by Victor J. Banis; and Angel’s Evolution by T.A. Chase are on my schedule to be reviewed within the next month so watch for them. 🙂
Don`t forget Ben and Dakota!
Another cuddle-every-ten-seconds-pair.
I know the book is old,but….
I’m sorry Simsala but I’m drawing a blank at Ben and Dakota. Is this the name of a book or the names of the characters? Who is the publisher? I’m looking to readers to tell me which old favourites they want reviewed but I don’t recall this one.
Oh,sorry.
Too many names out there*g*
Catching A Second Wind – Sean Michael.
Published 2004 by Torquere.
Thanks Simsala
Got it. 🙂 I do have Catching a Second Wind on the schedule – I think I mentioned it the last time I talked about reviewing old favourites. It’s coming up and thanks for reminding me. 🙂
Yes, Love M.L.’s books!
Love M.L. Rhodes! Will have to hunt this one up to read 🙂
Denni
I know you will love this story especially if you like a bit of angst – I don’t normally, but I didn’t find that this book had too much. 🙂 the guys are wonderful.
This made me feel so nostalgic because it’s literally one of the first m/m books I ever read. I think it was ‘The Assignment’ and ‘Slave Boy’ by Evangeline Anderson, and then this. Following which, I went and bought every m/m book that M. L. Rhodes had ever written!
I agree with 4.5 stars though, just because Raff needed a kick in the nads and never really got one in the story. Or maybe it’s just me that feels that way?
Alexi
Thanks for the vote of confidence. John doesn’t like my rating. 🙂 I do feel that Raff gave Nick too much grief, but then I’m not one for a lot of angst. 🙂
I have every M.L. Rhodes’ M/M book because I just love her characters and plots. The Assignment is also ‘up there’ for me. Love those cops.
I only like angst if there’s an appropriate level of grovelling afterward:-)
I especially loved M.L. Rhodes Hearts and Bones series, and can’t wait to get my hands on the next one. But I haven’t read any of the Dragon Lords books yet (although I have all of them) because the final one hasn’t been written and I don’t DO cliffhangers.
Alexi
I can’t believe you haven’t read The Draegon Lords series because you’re waiting for Circle of Ariend. That might not be the last book – which means an even longer wait. 🙂
I love ALWAYS which is the print version of Never Let Go and Hearts and Bones. That’s also on my list to review along with FALLING.
Angst is OK if it’s not taken to extremes – in some books I want to smack the characters because enough is enough. I hate The Big Misunderstanding and too much angst is next on my list of hates. However, many M/M readers just love angst. 🙁
Yes, but think of how glorious it will be when the series is finished and I can read all of them in one go without being left in suspense! I hate cliff-hangers.
I think angst and big misunderstandings have their place, but it depends how it’s done. If it seems to all unfold naturally as a result of the characters and situation, then I can live with it (so long as there’s a good payoff). But I hate it when things come out of nowhere or drag on too long. If people do something stupid I like them to realise it quick and try to fix it, not sit around moaning or blaming someone else.
(Hops off soapbox)
Oh, I loved this one! Of course, I’ve loved every M.L. Rhodes book I’ve read. Glad you liked it, too!
M.L. writes equally well whether it’s contemporary or paranormal M/M. She’s one of my favourite authors and an auto buy.
Thanks for this review of an old favorite. As a relatively new, but voracious reader of M/M, I keep up with most of the good new releases. I have missed some of the older ones – so this is great. I also love the new summaries at the front of the reviews… Thanks!
Hi Christa
You’re very welcome. I’ll try to do more ‘old favourites’ because I realize that there are many new readers to this sub genre who didn’t have the advantage of those of us who started several years ago.
The summaries are actually the idea of one of the readers. 🙂