Be The Air for You

Title: Be the Air for You
Author: T.A. Chase
Publisher: Amber Allure
Genre: Contemporary M/M, interracial
Length: Extended Amber Kiss (16K words, 60 PDF pages)
Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

Summary Review: Can  someone for whom music is his life love another person who is going deaf? Rod Hannah faced this question when his lover Hawk, a doctor, confessed that he would be totally deaf very soon, but Rod showed that Hawk was more important than his music.

THE BLURB

Rock star Rod Hannah is on top of his game, performing all over the world to sold-out arenas. Yet loneliness is a battle he fights along with his long-time addiction to drugs and alcohol. He beat those latter demons three years ago with the aid of his best friend, Hawk McLeod, a doctor who runs a clinic on the Navajo reservation in New Mexico. But when it comes to the loneliness, it’s still a daily struggle for Rod. He’s been in love with Hawk for years, but the timing had never been right for turning their friendship into something deeper and more serious. Hawk is the person Rod calls in the middle of the night, no matter where he is or what he’s done, and Hawk’s always there for him. Now, when Hawk faces a life-changing crisis and needs him the most, Rod will drop everything to support the man he loves, hoping to show him how perfect they are for each other.
 
 THE REVIEW

Rod Hannah and Hawk had been best friends since they first met on the playground 30 years ago, but even though Rod wanted Hawk in his bed for years he never tried to do  anything about it because he didn’t want to lose his friend in case things went bad. Hawk had stood by him during his numerous drug rehab stints, and after the last one Hawk made it clear that if he relapsed again he was leaving because he couldn’t watch him destroy his life. Now clean and sober for 3 years Hawk was the one constant in Rod’s life, and although they were both gay he couldn’t screw up their friendship by putting the moves on Hawk and risk turning him off, because then he would have no one. Whenever Rod was on the road he depended on Hawk to be his anchor and called him from various cities on the schedule to maintain their close connection. His charitable foundation also helped equip Hawk’s medical clinic which provided free care for his patients who were also Native Americans and needed Hawk’s expertise to keep them healthy. 

Rod invited Hawk to his last show on his current tour, but when he saw him it was obvious he was worried about something which he refused to share and Rod didn’t want to push; he could only hope that it was an issue he could help him resolve. However, before they even had a chance to discuss the pending problem, the sexual tension between Rod and Hawk reached the boiling point and they decided to confront their feelings for each other since they couldn’t wait any longer. Rod could only hope that afterwards they could have a permanent relationship, although he was still concerned that crossing the line into sex could destroy their friendship if it didn’t work out. Later Hawk told Rod that he had a major problem which could affect his ability to make a living and be the partner that Rod wanted and needed – he was going stone deaf.

One of the reasons I love T.A. Chase’s books is that he always comes up with innovative plots for his stories, and Be The Air For You is no different. Imagine being told, just after the man with whom you have been in love for years confesses that he loves you too, that he was going deaf and would no longer be able to hear the beautiful music you created. Rod was devastated by the news and the timing and also the fact that Hawk’s physical impairment would affect his ability to practice as a doctor.

Navigating these difficult and complex lifestyle issues required many compromises which both men were prepared to make in order to be together. Rod knew that a relationship with Hawk would change the way he lived because Hawk needed a stable home. He wasn’t the kind of person who liked to travel because his heart and soul were with his people and his life was on the reservation. Rod, on the other hand, still had a lot of touring to do and recording contracts to fulfil before he could retire.  Both men had to work hard to accommodate Hawk’s deafness including learning sign language and getting a service dog. The author showed some of the aspects of deafness that we never think about such as the gradual changes in Hawk’s intonation as he lost his ability to hear and how much this bothered Rod.

If I have one criticism it was that there was a lot going on for such a short book. Even though there is an epilogue, I would have liked to get more than a glimpse of the guys’ lives together so that I could have had a better understanding of how the changes that Rod had to make in his touring and recording schedules to accommodate Hawk’s disability affected his career, and also how Hawk fared in making his own compromises about working in the clinic now that he couldn’t hear his patients. Having said that, T.A. Chase made the most of the length of the book by showing Hawk’s emotional responses to losing one of his major senses and while I would have liked a bit more ‘showing’  in terms of  the RL accommodations that this entailed for the couple, the length of the book didn’t permit this. T.A. Chase obviously did a lot of research into hearing impairment to make this story realistic, and the pacing seemed to work, from Hawk’s initial diagnosis, to acceptance, to living life with his disability. 

The characters were well drawn and Hawk’s Native American heritage and his commitment to the Navajo people were very much part of the story. Rod’s life as a high profile rock star who toured a lot was quite realistic and his strength of character in not giving in to drugs and alcohol when life gave him another kick in the teeth was totally because of loving Hawk who showed the strength and courage of his Navajo heritage in dealing with the change in his lifestyle.

If you’re looking for a story that has additional complexities apart from fitting in two careers I would suggest that you pick up Be The Air For You. I enjoyed it very much and I hope you do too. Definitely Recommended.