Some time ago I posed this question at the request of author J.L. Langley “Guys how do you like your Men – Cut or Intact?” I thought it was a wonderful way to take your pulse about this very personal and touchy topic. 🙂 That poll was on the old blog, and even though I loved it, there were many limitations, including slow loading or lack of access, which resulted in some of you getting tired after a few tries so you didn’t bother to come back and give your opinion in the poll. Now that the problem of access has been resolved with a new site, I’m running this poll again almost 2 years later, to see how things have changed (or not).
So here’s the question. Do gay men prefer their partners to be cut or do they like an intact foreskin? This has nothing whatsoever to do with religion or hygiene – it’s strictly sensory, aesthetic and to a lesser degree, olfactory. I realize that an excellent answer to this question, which was posted in response to the last poll by Batboy 126 , is “In real life, the choice of penis depends mainly on who’s attached to it” but please indulge me.
Many male M/M writers advocate the intact penis and Bobby Michaels is one of its strongest proponents. He likes the visual and sensory aspects of sex and he also loves ‘manly men’ who smell like real men without the benefit of deodorants or anything that would mask their natural odours. However, what do you prefer? Do you like the movement of the foreskin on the intact penis as it glides back and forth, thus adding another dimension to sexual stimulation? (Some people compare this to playing a trombone.) 🙂 Or do you prefer the friction of the ‘cut’ penis? I’m trying to use clinical terms because I would like to keep the discussion on a much higher plane than our norm, but feel free to use whatever words you like.
One of the things I notice when reading ‘stroke’ material (PWP) is that the gay men in these books are almost always uncut. Is this because the authors feel that this is the desirable state for a gay man? Most of these books are written by North American authors many of whom, if they’re male and over 35, are ‘cut’, yet their books tell another story. Is this wishful thinking? In Europe the reverse is the case so I suppose your preference would depend on where you live to some degree, since most men in North America weren’t given the choice of remaining intact because they were circumcised shortly after birth. However I have read newspaper articles about men who are being circumcised much later in life and I wonder why, other than if they converted to Judaism. I did some recent research and it appears that one reason could be because a few men have problems retracting the foreskin, and if it’s too painful they decide to have a little surgery to ease the pain. 🙁
When commenting, could you indicate the reason for your preference? For example, is it because with an intact penis the pleasure is extended or, if your partner is cut, is his sensation heightened? For some of you it does not matter either way and that’s cool. Not being male I have no idea of the different factors that would go into this consideration but I understand that for some guys this preference is really huge.
While it seems that most women prefer their men to have benefited from the surgeon’s knife, according to a few informal surveys, there doesn’t appear to be any empirical data about the preferences of gay men. When I asked my gay friends for information about this they referred me to their previous response to my request – since they have no interest in dating me they weren’t going to give it up for free. So I have to run a poll because my friends won’t cooperate.
Which do you prefer? The mushroom or the anteater/elephant trunk? 🙂
I gained a lot of knowledge in the last poll. I now understand what ‘docking’ is. You never know what new information these polls will provide. The original survey was done at the request of an author and I’m reprising it at the request of a few other M/M writers. I would be interested in how many M/M authors currently have their guys ‘cut’ in their books, so authors please join in the discussion.
Your assistance would be appreciated. Maybe I could come up with a prize for the most interesting answer.
Hahaha! Wonderful post and an interesting question! I’m interested in the answers as well!!
Years ago I had a discussion with a friend about cut or uncut. She mentioned that “cut” (okay that sounds painful ;-)) men are harder to please. I always wondered if that was her personal experience or if that is true.
Personally I can’t say (I know, I’m not gay, but I’m answering it anways, well sort of) All the men here are uncut. Well almost all, but the one who is…so do not want to experiment on him 😉
Hi Larissa
I hope that everyone will answer, whether or not he/she is a gay man because I think women want to know as well. The author who asked me to run the original post is female and I think she wanted to know because of the characters in her book.
I would really like to know how gay men feel about the difference and I hope that some of them will comment on the post.
I think it’s really strange that North American men are so different from European men.
I know! It’s going to be really interesting. Then again tastes differ as well!
Yes it is weird. I wonder how that came to be!
Well, based on my Tumblr experience, seems either most guys and girls prefer the aesthetic of cut or there are simply more pictures of that out there. I’d say 10 to 1, cut vs uncut pictures. But if most of those pics come from the US that’s probably statistically the norm. But aesthetics and real life “hands-on” experience can be two different things.
I’ll be curious to see what the guys prefer.
Hi Tam
In my “research” I found that most North American women are like you, but younger gay men (twentysomethings) are mostly uncut, at least that’s what they tell me, and they seem to prefer that in their men. We’ll see if this poll can add to the mystique. 🙂
As I mentioned in the post, most PWP books seem to show a preference for the “intact” man. Maybe because there’s more to play with. LOL
huh Tumblr experience?You got me curious!
I don’t know how interested you are in a woman’s opinion, but I like uncut, personally. This is much more common here in the UK – circumcision is fairly rare in a lot of Europe, I think – so maybe it’s just what I’m used to. But for me, I happen to like penises a lot, so why would I want to apply a surgeon’s knife to their natural glory? It’s not a big deal or anything (unlike those guys who make the loud noises about not dating women with fake boobs or whatever) but given a choice, I think au natural is always superior.
Well, I feel guilty when faced with an uncut penis. I worry that I’m betraying my Jewish heritage of maternal guilt if I worship the foreskin. Even if I tell myself it’s a yarmulke for the dick doesn’t make me feel less guilty.
That said, I must admit I’m a huge rice queen — which causes colonialism guilt, let me tell you — and most Asian men I have met are uncut. I try and give them as much pleasure as I can to make amends.
” I’m a huge rice queen ”
ROFL OMG, I’ve never heard that phrase but I am so going to start calling my friend that. He loves him some Asian boys.
I keep hoping to find that guy who’s a big latke queen!
Steve
>>I keep hoping to find that guy who’s a big latke queen!<< When you find him I want pictures (like the ones you sent me last time). 🙂
Steve
>>I worry that I’m betraying my Jewish heritage of maternal guilt if I worship the foreskin. Even if I tell myself it’s a yarmulke for the dick doesn’t make me feel less guilty.<< Oh f**k me (well not you because you couldn't possibly be interested in a woman, but you know what I mean). 🙂 You push all my buttons whenever you respond to any of my polls. Oh, and "a rice Queen"??? I have never heard that one before. I take it that although you yourself are cut, you prefer the elephant trunk? 🙂
Hah, you flatter me.
Really? You never heard of Rice Queen?
This does bring up some interesting elements about the disconnect between gay men’s culture and some m/m titles — an immersion in the slang and scene.
No I never heard of a rice Queen. Where do you guys get this stuff?
>>This does bring up some interesting elements about the disconnect between gay men’s culture and some m/m titles — an immersion in the slang and scene<< I keep telling you that you have to educate me and I'm still waiting for Steve Berman Gay Men 101. 🙂
“…a yarmulke for the dick…”
Ha! I always thought that was what precum was–albeit a small yarmulke. Foreskin? Turtleneck, definitely.
Giving pleasure to overcome colonialism guilt is one of the best rationalizations I’ve heard in a long time. 😀
Hi K.Z.
Steve will be the death of me. I was laughing so hard at his “rice queen” then he had to go further by his “yarmulke for the dick…”
Hi Alexi
As I said in the post I’m interested in all opinions, male or female. The reason I directed this to the guys is because only they would know about whether there is a difference from their perspective if they or their guys are intact or ‘cut.’ Since you’re an M/M author I would think you would definitely be interested in this topic.
As an M/M writer I’m definitely interested in gay guys viewpoint on this. But if everyone’s going to make me snort coffee out through my nostrils laughing (which, by the way – ow) I shall be glued to these comments like…well, like Steve to Jackie Chan, probably.
Alexi
Steve is my guilty secret. I get his opinion on stuff that only a gay man would know, and in addition to information he sends me pictures of himself doing the ‘nasty.’ Obviously not a shy man but I love him, warts and all.
Please, hon, when you start talking about the crotchal area, never mention “warts.”
So lucky! Why don’t *my* gay friends send me pictures like that!
(Sulks)
I recommend you rent/view the movie Formula 17. A terrific Taiwanese gay comedy and romance.
How about The Wedding Banquet
Sorry about the warts comment. 🙂 Anyway I know you don’t have any because I have seen your entire body and there were no warts – maybe a few bite marks but that’s it, and they look very nice in terms of placement. Aren’t you afraid of teeth?
I really don’t have a preference…honestly. Like Batboy said, it’s really more a matter of who the penis is attached to than whether it’s cut or uncut. I just thank God that we can have some variety and you never know quite what might be waiting for you behind that zipper or button fly.
Hi Rick
Thank you for commenting. Having read many of your books you seem to have a preference for intact, at least in your protagonists. 🙂 However, real life is quite different from books and as you said, there’s no telling what’s waiting for you behind door No. 3 (or a button fly or zipper). 🙂
In case anyone’s interested in way more than you’d ever want to know about “gay slang” here’s a link to a dictionary: http://wizardsgayslang.com/ (Just pick any letter and you’ll be laughing, I mean learning, in seconds.)
Hi Missy
Thank you for the dictionary. I had heard of it but many of the bloggers who log on here probably aren’t aware of it so I’ll link it to our own “M/M and Gay Sex Terms” which is on the site at the bottom of the left hand sidebar.
Generally I like them both, but I found that there are uncut cocks… and uncut cocks. I must say that I encountered some uncut cocks in my life that I didnt’t like very much because of the foreskin. I never had any similar experience with cut cocks.
But as I said in general I like them both and I can’t say from my experience that one is the better “lustbringer” than the other. *g* But that’s just my opinion.
Hi C.
I love the term “lustbringer” which is another one that I hadn’t heard before. You must be taking lessons from Steve.
Thanks for letting those guys with no foreskin know that you won’t discriminate against them. 🙂
Being a 30 year old woman in the US, my experience has been only with cut men. When I write, the men tend to be cut if they’re in the US or a culture that would do it, but intact otherwise. Though, I have to admit, I now realize I don’t explicitly say this in sex scenes. I don’t mention pulling back the foreskin or any other reference to the foreskin itself. Which, of course, is my failing, since I think my brain just supplies what it wants when referencing oral sex and the like because I have no practical experience with uncut genitalia.
Which the ‘write what you know’ aspect of writing. I don’t know what sex with an uncut guy is like, and neither do the men in my life, and so I feel uncomfortable writing it, afraid I’ll ‘get it wrong’.
Hi There
As you say, you write what you know however you’re writing about gay men, a topic about which I suppose you’re just as unfamiliar so it’s probably a matter of either giving rein to your imagination or asking a gay man. I ask my gay friends about a lot of topics relating to the gay lifestyle about which I know nothing since I’m a straight female, so that when I do a post I get it right most of the time. If I were an author I would also check with the experts, in this case gay men.
Similarly over a year ago I did a post about almost all the female M/M authors who were having their guys tie off their condoms. When I checked with my gay friends before posting the piece they were aghast at this practice. Apparently some straight men in Europe do this and a few M/M authors “from across the pond” wrote about it in relation to gay men as if this were actually what happened after they had sex. Many other M/M authors played “follow the leader” until I decided to ask my friends and gay authors if gay men actually did this and found out that they did not. Thankfully this ‘habit’ has now almost disappeared from M/M romances.
Oh, I do ask gay men what they do. *chuckles* But, regardless of what I ask the gay men in my life, when I write, I also draw upon my own experiences and preferences. My imagination does run itself wild, but there are small, unconscious preferences that wind up in what I write because I tend to write what I want to read.
Yeah, the condom tying thing never made sense to me since the men I’ve been with and spoken to had never done such a thing. The thing I’d like to see vanish, though, is the ‘one finger, two finger, three finger, GO!’ routine. 😉 But it seems to be a trope that just doesn’t know when to quit.
>>there are small, unconscious preferences that wind up in what I write because I tend to write what I want to read.<< I do understand someone writing what they want to read, but on the other hand I find that some M/M romances tend to sound like het romances and I'm concerned that eventually the stories will be exactly the same except the protagonists will be gay men acting like women, which would not be a good thing because gay men are not women. Re your other comment, I did a post about the 1 finger, 2 finger, three finger thing and all the authors who responded defended this practice by saying that the guys had to be prepared. My response was, we know where the cock is going like a homing pigeon, and we are all aware that the guys need to be prepared, but do we need to read about it in every M/M romance? They are still doing it today.
By no means are gay men woman in the slightest, and I certainly don’t mean for that to be taken away from my words. I merely admit a fault of my own in writing from my own personal preferences for cut vs uncut men. ^_^
As for the preparation thing, yes, I did read that post and its comments. Maybe I’m strange. It may be TMI, but that does happen a lot around here, but when I engage in anal sex, I don’t need such ‘preparation’. It doesn’t make the act any less enjoyable. Now, as foreplay, it’s one thing, but the ritualistic manner it usually occurs in the fiction doesn’t read as foreplay to me. But, that’s completely off topic, I know. *laughs* Sorry about that!
Since you said you want to hear from women as well, I’ll share my thoughts as a North American woman over 35 who has encountered both cut and uncut. First of all, I agree 100% with Batboy’s statement about who’s attached being most important. Beyond that, I really don’t have a preference, but giving head (an already delightful activity) can be even more fun when there’s foreskin to play with.
Hi Jessica
>>I really don’t have a preference, but giving head (an already delightful activity) can be even more fun when there’s foreskin to play with.<< Amen to that. 🙂
I prefer uncut men, although it doesn’t make that much difference to me. Back when I was writing for the magazines I would often write about uncut guys for the pleasure. It’s sexy and natural, at least to me. Hooded men ended up invading the bulk of my later stories simply because I find them yummy. There was no financial reason, and I tend to doubt anyone out there is writing about uncut guys to make better sales. That’s what kink is all about…for some.
So what’s next: Thick or Thin?
I’m adding my comment before reading the other posts. Sorry if I’m repeating anything already mentioned.
Short and thick. Otherwise my damn uterus gets in the way (bloody annoying awkward retroverted thing that it is). Sorry if that’s TMI, but you did ask:-)
Hi Ken
As you can gather from my post, I enjoy PWP and the fact that the men in the stories are mainly uncut. 🙂
>>I prefer uncut men, although it doesn’t make that much difference to me.<< So what you're saying is that from the perspective of giving or getting pleasure, although you prefer uncut you don't find that much difference. >>So what’s next: Thick or Thin?<< I never thought of writing a post about that although I did do one about penis size and whether it mattered in M/M romances. In case you missed it and are interested in this topic here is the link to my post. Enjoy and thanks for commenting Ken. http://www.gayromance.org/?p=19224
“”I prefer uncut men, although it doesn’t make that much difference to me.””
“So what you’re saying is that from the perspective of giving or getting pleasure, although you prefer uncut you don’t find that much difference.”
I don't know about the getting side *blush*
>>I don’t know about the getting side *blush*<< That damn Steve Berman lied to me when he told me that being gay meant having more fun sexuallly than being straight. I'm going to smack him. 🙂
Wave, I charge $20 to smack my ass.
I think I need an intervention. I’ve been sitting here for hours with a twenty-dollar bill in one hand and a paddle in the other, waiting for ass to appear … and wondering how I’d know it was Berman’s.
42, US female.
Out of N sexual enounters in my lifetime, N-1 have been cut. The uncut man was rather older than I was. Personally, I like both.
Reading, I’d like to know, because otherwise I visualize cut. It’s my mental default, and that of most US women, I expect.
Writing: depends on time, place, cleanliness/anti-masturbation practices and religion. (example: my Moroccan Muslim pirate is cut, his American Christian captain is not)
Hi Angel
>>Reading, I’d like to know, because otherwise I visualize cut. It’s my mental default, and that of most US women, I expect.<< I visualise uncut when I'm reading because I like that in a man, but hey they don't get to choose whether a woman has fake boobs or the real thing until they see her undressed, so I guess it's the same thing. I can't ask a guy if he's cut or uncut before we do the nasty, so sometimes I'm surprised, not unpleasantly, just surprised. 🙂
To sheath or not to sheath, that is the question? My only question is, “Does it work?” : ) That’s about where my interest begins and ends. If it works, it’s in! No, really…stick it in!! LOL! Oh my, I couldn’t seem to stop myself. : )
Perhaps some of those authors of ‘stroke fiction’ are cut and suffering from phantom foreskin envy?
It really doesn’t matter as it’s more about the man attached to the penis than it is the bits between his legs. We should all be equal opportunity lover’s of dick. You can’t always order off the menu, sometimes you need to try eating what the waiter brings to the table. As long as you leave with a smile on your face, it’s all good. : )
Ethan
>>We should all be equal opportunity lover’s of dick. You can’t always order off the menu, sometimes you need to try eating what the waiter brings to the table.<< Between you and Steve Berman you have managed to bring more than a smile to my face. Maybe a guffaw or two. :) I want to order off your menu but somehow I don't think that lesbian women would like your food selection. They are not "equal opportunity lovers of dick." :) >>My only question is, “Does it work?” : ) That’s about where my interest begins and ends. If it works, it’s in! No, really…stick it in!! LOL! Oh my, I couldn’t seem to stop myself. : )<< Have you ever tried to stop yourself? 🙂 This is such a great way to start the weekend, to talk about cocks, pardon me, penises. Thank you Ethan for giving me another unique perspective on man meat.
Lesbians CAN order off the menu, they just need to pick the right restaurant. : ) And yes…I stop myself way more than you know. I totally held back all the wisecracks that came to mind in regards to the different items one might find on menu’s for lesbian and gay men. : )
Steve
I couldn’t respond directly to your comment so I’m doing it here.
Does that mean that if I paid you $20 you would let me smack your ass (or arse as the Brits say)? That would be money well spent because I would have to do it on your bare ass – no clothes allowed. I can see a topic for another post – “Exercise by smacking Steve’s bare ass instead of going to the gym. Save money!!” How about them apples. 🙂
He made me laugh so I’d pony up for a smack or two as well… 🙂
You’re a popular guy, Steve!
Sigh… why can’t my novel sell as well as my ass…
This looks a little suspicious to me, Steve. Was Wave really only able to respond here, or was Wave trying to show me your ass?
And I’d be getting a little clarification, Wave. Is it 20 bucks a whack or for a thirty minute session? Cause 20 bucks a whack could get pricey…especially for someone with an addictive personality…you start with one, and next thing you know you’ve spanked yourself into a corner – needing to call credit counselors to help get you and your rosy-red palm out of ass-debt! Eventually leading to a segment on 60 minutes where Andy Rooney waxes poetic about days gone by, when ass was nothing more than something you sat on….
Great post for a Friday Wave. Between Steve and Ethan, I was chuckling, no make that laughing out loud, reading the responses. Those two are so funny. I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read this!
I have to say that for me as well, it really doesn’t matter whether he’s cut or uncut. It’s far more important who it’s attached to. I mean honestly, they all work the same. It’s really just a personal preference as to how it looks and feels with or without the foreskin.
Hi T.J.
After my serious post of last week where all the romance fans beat me into a bloody pulp I’m so glad that today’s post was not controversial. Your comment was on the money and I don’t mean the $20 we have to pay to smack Steve’s ass. 🙂
Aren’t Ethan and Steve the best? I’m so glad you were at home when you read the comments or you would have been in trouble at work. 🙂
Have a fun weekend.
Hey TJ!
Guys do like their tools. Unfortunately some guys are more attached to their tools than others.
It’s nice to know I’m not alone, that there are others out there who only worry about plugging them in. 🙂
Ethan
Don’t you try to spoil TJ … He’s a nice man and one of my favourite regulars. Oh that sounds funny as if money were being exchanged with a fave customer, but of course I meant ‘regular’ on the site. 🙂
Thank you Wave. You’re very kind. I’m happy to be one of your “regulars”.
Ethan –
I love how your mind works –
“..next thing you know you’ve spanked yourself into a corner – needing to call credit counselors to help get you and your rosy-red palm out of ass-debt!”
LOL – You are a very funny man! You need to write more books. This stuff is too funny.
And yes, boys do love their “tools”, toys, cars… Leave it to you to put a new meaning to an old saying.
Not much personal experience with foreskin, I’m cut and most of my encounters have been with cut dick. I like to watch uncut dick in videos, though.
Hey John
Thank you for commenting! It’s interesting that you like watching porn with uncut guys. 🙂
I’m a guy and I have NO preference either way.
Most books I read either say a guy’s circumcised or don’t say anything, so since most guys I’ve been with were cut, that’s what pops into my mind. 😉 (shrug)
I do feel authors should put a few more uncut guys in M/M erotic romance.
Hi Kendall
>>I do feel authors should put a few more uncut guys in M/M erotic romance.<< I totally agree. Many younger men in their twenties, gay and straight, are uncut and the last thing authors should do is make them feel inferior because all the guys in these books are 'cut'
Finally, someone has a place for me to view my own personal opinion on this subject. As a gay man, who was cut right after birth, i feel like i am missing a very personal piece of my body that i am suppose to have. I wish all the time that i had a foreskin. All guys should have the right to either keep or cut their foreskin, it should be only their choice and no one else to make that choice. As a gay man i prefer uncut to cut for sexual pleasure from other guys. Being cut i think about what it would be like all the time to have an uncut dick, All The Time! I only wish i could have kept my natural penis cause if i had a foreskin i would have it stretched as long as it would go, the longer the better, more to play with for myself and others. My partner of 7 years wishes he too was uncut and loves the natural man as much as i do. I think if doctors said they were going to cut women then all women, mothers of boy babies, would leave their male children alone and uncut. I really think this way about the subject. Please, mothers in the US, leave your boys uncut and let them make that choice for themselves, PLEASE! Being uncut gives everyone more to play with on both ends, theirs and ours, lol. (you have my permission to use my post in any way you want)