Lurkers: Why Do Bloggers Lurk? Part II

181 comments

• 

  Most of the time, I have nothing to add or say. Actually ALL of the time. I think I am lax in treating this as a sort of news aggregate rather than an interactive portal.

  I read everything that’s written here. I base some of my book purchases on what’s said and there have been times when I think… Dear God, what book are THEY reading because this one sucks. But it’s impolite to say that, no?

  Well I think it is. Ranty things are uncomfortable. Disagreeing with someone’s assessment is also uncomfortable because really, it’s all subjective. I love books others hate.

  See? Ranty. Not attractive 😀

  • 

    Hi Reece
    Thank you for commenting.

    When you interact with the reviewers and say why you think they are full of you know what, they love to engage in a polite debate and sometimes you change their minds. What’s the point of writing a review if there’s no feedback? Every author knows that even a bad review gets them “air time” so while they hate the review, they love the fact that someone noticed their book. With reviews, it’s the same thing. We need to know WHY you disagreed (or agreed) because your opinion may give us a perspective we missed. So please feel free to comment.

    There are rants on all my posts on Fridays. lol. I get my butt kicked regularly but what I love is the interactive exchange (it’s always polite here even those who tell me where to go).

    As I said in the post, communication is a 2 way street and many times I urge readers who may not have read a book to come back and tell me or the reviewer what they think after they have read it.
    So ranty is good. 🙂

  • 

    *Pipes up* Reece, go you! THIS kind of comment is exactly what I, as a guest reviewer here, want. I write why I love a book – or not, for that matter – but I hardly ever learn if someone agrees with me, or not, and if not, WHY not. So give it to me, raw and steaming or gentle and sweet, but do!

  • 

    Yes, Reece, feel free to comment on a review and tell us why you disagree. It’s great to get evidence in the form of a comment that someone is reading, and I learn a lot about reviewing when I get other people’s perspectives on a book.

    • 

      I am usually torn between a. I write so I really shouldn’t “express” an opinion lest it be taken in the wrong voice and b. I’m Asian and well, that sort of thing is frowned upon… never disagree with someone. :::grins:::

      I shall try to remember to go back and ping the reviews I’ve read. I’m usually about 50% to 75% purchase rate of books reviewed here.

      But see, keep in mind… what I want to read is very different from what others do so I usually keep it to myself.

      • 

        Reece

        Being an author doesn’t disqualify you from commenting. Some of our most frequent commenters are authors – just check out the Friday posts. 🙂
        You can disagree as much as you want with what we write. We love to debate.

        Maybe you can give us some recommendations of books to review. I don’t want the site to become the “typical” review site where we all review the same books. This is why I buy books from lesser known publishers to introduce writers that some readers have never heard of.

        On another topic, one of my perpetual complaints is that there are not enough books with protagonists who are not Caucasian. I even wrote a post over a year ago on that topic. So far, very few M/M writers have taken up this challenge – M/F is much better in this area. I love sports so I want to read more sports oriented books but there are not that many out there. So if there are some themes that you like and you send me a list of recommended authors or books, we will try to read and review at least a few of them.

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  I’m one of the ones who reads every day, and comments occasionally. There are different reasons why. One is that sometimes I’m a little late to the party and someone has already said what I would have said. Don’t wanna be a copy cat. On the reviews, sometimes I don’t feel like the comments I would make are timely. For instance, I appreciated the review for American Love Songs and it made me buy it. I just finished it last night and I seriously thought about commenting, but you know, the review was almost two weeks ago. Should I comment, or is it ancient history. I love the reviews here and I’m getting to know who reviews what I want to read. Sometimes I never make it past the blurb because it doesn’t interest me. If I see paranormal, I usually just skip to the next section. So, I guess I comment when I feel like I can add something relevant to the conversation, other than just, me too.

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    Hi, Marilyn, you said

    I seriously thought about commenting, but you know, the review was almost two weeks ago. Should I comment, or is it ancient history.

    Feel free to comment. I’ve had the occasional comment on one of my reviews happen months after I’ve posted the review, and I always get automatically notified through email and come and answer. Speaking for myself, time passing doesn’t matter.

  • 

    Marilyn, you should go back and comment! I have people reply a week, a few weeks, a month later (any longer and I don’t know since thats as long as I’ve been around). I love opening my email and finding a comment from a review weeks gone by because that means that someone actually took the review and read the book, whether or not they liked it doesn’t matter. So go back and reply, I’d love to know what you thought of the book 🙂

    • 

      Even I like those comments on reviews from weeks ago. And I am just a reader as you are. Sometimes they make me remember a book that I would had otherwise forgotten because books come and go so fast.
      Or I get this “See you like it too!” feeling after such a comment. Like earlier this week someone commented on A Red tainted silence.

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  I too wonder sometimes if I am talking into an empty space. But I figure I am crazy enough so why not.

  I have been trying to figure out a way to include people in the conversation on the blog or let them know we are having one to begin with by asking open questions at the end of my posts.

  I think on posts where you are putting a heavy point across to people no matter how much effort you make might get uncomfortable for the reader but also maybe and I am talking mostly about myself here…

  Maybe you did not ask any questions.

  I know I am hard headed and blunt and can turn people off but maybe I need to ask more questions to show I also want to hear other peoples input.

  • 

    Hi TP
    It’s a universal problem and sometimes I wonder why we bother. Maybe we should just take our tents and go home. I know it’s defeatist to have that attitude but if readers aren’t interested – are we doing this for ourselves?

    I have been trying to figure out a way to include people in the conversation on the blog or let them know we are having one to begin with by asking open questions at the end of my posts.

    Our main problem here is a lack of comments on reviews, not the blog posts which everyone gets into and sometimes I’m still answering comments on Monday from Friday’s post. I’m concerned that the guest reviewers will just get fed up and say enough already. They spend a lot of time reading the books and reviewing them and if no one comments, what’s the point of it all?

    I think it’s a good strategy to ask a question at the end of blog posts and invite comments and that always works, but it’s hard to do so in reviews, although I have done so occasionally.

    I know I am hard headed and blunt and can turn people off but maybe I need to ask more questions to show I also want to hear other peoples input.

    I can be very blunt on my posts and I have done so on many occasions but the bloggers comment and some of them tell me they think I’m full of it – yet those posts have some of the most comments. So I think in your case people read the posts but can’t be bothered to comment unless they feel it affects them directly – it’s not for a lack of effort on your part.

    I keep inviting you to do a blog post here and get your ass kicked like I do but you’re too chicken. TP. 🙂

    • 

      Oh reviews…

      Well that is understandable. I look at reviews like reference material with a public service aftertaste.

      They just sorta are there to inform people and people read them and either go off and get the book or decide not to.

      I don’t expect much in comments on a review unless I bring up something that the people reading can relate to otherwise it’s just a blank opinion.

      Now I might get someone saying in their own blog… Oh I read his review and bought the book and it rocks or they say it was not for them etc.

      It’s maybe more a delayed discussion/reaction thing.

      You cannot discuss a book you have not read really.

      So if you want more comments then maybe try to review books that have been out a while which I sometimes do and you might get more reactions because people reading the review have probably had a chance to read it already.

      • 

        Or you could always comment on the genre or about something else you have read by the author to explain why or why not you would read the reviewd book?

        • 

          Good ideas, Lisa. 🙂

      • 

        We do review both recent releases as well as books that have been around for a while and get varied responses. I review books from time to time called “old favourites” and people comment on those a lot.

        However for the guest reviewers if no one comments on their reviews they feel that they are lost in cyberspace. This site gets a lot more comments on reviews than most other M/M review sites – I know because I checked, but I still don’t think it’s proportionate to the effort that goes into writing the reviews.

        As I said in the post I noticed a trend – whenever a review is 5 stars they flock to it and comment most of the time or if it’s a popular author, but a lot of our 3 star reviews go unnoticed – yet those take more time to write. It’s harder to justify why you think a book doesn’t thrill you and a lot less pleasant than one you really love and are enthusiastic about.

        On one blog someone said that he/or she checks out 300 blogs. How on earth do you find the time to visit 300 blogs in a year ? They do this in a week or a day apparently. Don’t they have a life or are they like butterflies flitting from flower to flower?

• 

  OK, not a lurker (anymore) but maybe I can help coax some out. 😉

  Another one here who has been reading every day for a year. It did take me a while to open up, take the plunge and start posting, and now I can’t seem to shut up! I have loved finding a site where others are so passionate about reading in general, and are also comfortable embracing the M/M genre and all it can encompass.

  I very much appreciate what the reviewers do – it takes a lot of time (as well as some balls) to organize your thoughts and put your opinion out here where anyone (including the authors) can see it. It’s also great to see the opinions of everyone who reads a book – I sure don’t expect us all to have the same outlook, opinion etc. and as Wave says, we can all learn by trying to view things from different perspectives. 🙂

  • 

    Thanks, Dianne! Much appreciated. 🙂

  • 

    I have hired guns, just so you know, authors. Big, hot guys to protect me from angry authors and readers 🙂

    • 

      OK Cole, it’s dangerous to use the words, big, hot and guns in the same sentence around here (or around me anyway..LOL) cause I totally read your post wrong at first! (or did I? :-))

      In the interest of feedback…….I have left my impressions of a few books on their review threads 2-3 weeks after the review first went up and they ended up being the last post on the thread. Seems like some reviewers have more time than others for follow up, which is understandable but I pout a little when I post some brilliance (snort) that seems to go unnoticed. 😉 Won’t stop me though – I just read a few books that have been out for months and still plan on commenting on the review threads for them, as you never know when someone will be perusing the older ones – I know I do.

      • 

        Oh Dianne, you totally read that right.

        I think I just imagine myself like picking imaginary bodyguards out of a line of my favorite hot cop characters from m/m books.

        What a delight 🙂

        I can’t speak for anyone else, but as of yet, I have replied to all the responses that I got by email, and unless WordPress messes up and doesn’t send me any comments on posts I’ve authored…. In that case, its hard to know you have a comment, but so far, I think I’ve caught them all.

      • 

        Seems like some reviewers have more time than others for follow up, which is understandable but I pout a little when I post some brilliance (snort) that seems to go unnoticed.

        I know what you mean, Dianne. I don’t like getting my comments ignored either. I’m not quite as impatient for a response as I used to be. If I leave a comment on a blog (we’re talking other blogs, not here), I’ll check back over about three days to give them time to comment, but if they don’t, I’ll assume they don’t care whether people comment or not, so I probably won’t ever come back unless they’re serving up really some outstanding information. And even in that case, I won’t bother to comment anymore.

        Like Cole said, I answer every reply that I get notified about. That’s going to be any comments on a post / review that I wrote. A post like this, for example, I wouldn’t get notified about because Wave wrote it, so the comments will go to her email address. So if somebody comments on a comment that I put here, I won’t know about it unless I can remember to check back. 🙂

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  Blogging is soooo far out of my comfort zone. Since I’ve seen you voice this before I try to comment on books I’ve read or ones I’m interested in. I always find typos and spelling mistakes afterwards, but everyone is nice about it.
  Some sight have simple acknowledgment tabs. You might also use the book give aways to encourage daily posts on the sight.
  You are all amazing! Thanks for all you do!

  • 

    Thanks so much, Reggie, for the comment, especially because it’s out of your comfort zone. I’ve heard the same thing about the acknowledgement tabs — that readers who have no time to formulate a response can click a tab. On Blogger (Google Blogspot.com) you can add them to your blog and customize them to say different things like “Helpful”, “Weird”, and even “Boring!” 😀 I’m not sure if they’re catching on with bloggers or not.

• 

  Great post, Wave. Very interesting. I’d wondered if Twitter was monopolizing people’s available time and energy.

  Just to give my feedback as a visitor to other blogs, the main reasons I won’t comment are

  * feeling like I don’t have enough time.
  * somebody’s already said what I wanted to
  * the time-passing late-to-the-party thing
  * the blog looks inactive
  * the blog feels unfriendly and clique-ish
  * the blogger doesn’t repond to comments.

  As for getting comments (or at least views), that’s all the currency we bloggers receive. If someone comments regularly on my blog (and I have a small group of ladies in mind 🙂 ), they have a friend for life in me. That’s how rare it is.

  And I know how much energy it requires to put together a worthy comment. I even appreciate the short ones like, “LOL!” or ” 🙂 ” because it means the commenter cares enough to try to check in and wade through all that crap with Google blogspot where you have to submit your comment three times and maybe even enter a word verification (one blogger’s site makes me do a math problem when I comment!) 😀

  • 

    Hi Val
    I think that if we take the time to write a review then the readers for whom we do this should at least let us know they heard us, and whether or not they think the review hit the mark or is found wanting. One paragraph should do that.

    Frequently readers post weeks after a review to let me know that they read a book I recommended and whether or not they liked it – I always respond.

    Just a couple of days ago someone commented on a review that Jen did over a year ago for A Red Tainted Silence and Jen responded. So we do respond. I get comments on posts I have written when I started the old blog almost 3 years ago and I usually respond unless it’s spam.

    I don’t think anyone has ever accused this site of being unfriendly or cliqueish, and as for being active? Sometimes there’s so much activity here it makes my head spin.

    When they run out of excuses maybe they will make a comment or two, for no other reason than we do this for the readers. Trust me I could spend my nights doing other stuff. For example I was up until 2.00 A.M. talking to an author about an upcoming interview and his books, and the readers will be the beneficiary, and then I had to finish a review at 6.00 A.M. So it’s really no rest for the wicked.

    It would be nice to know occasionally that there are folks who appreciate the effort.

    • 

      Wave, yes, this blog is definitely unique and doesn’t fall into those “turn-offs” I listed. It’s a very active, thriving, give-and-take online communitey. It has no unfriendly, elitist, clique-ish feel. And those of us who write the reviews and op-ed pieces get that automatic email notification no matter how much time passes, and we all respond. I guess visitors have no way to know about that last part.

      Would it be too silly to put a notice in the sidebar, stating, “Comments welcome! We receive automatic email notification on all comments. No expiration date on the article in question. We respond politely and with extreme gratitude to your expressed opinions even if you disagree with us.” 😛

      • 

        Val
        That’s an excellent idea to put something on the sidebar about the the fact that we welcome comments. I’ll ask C. to set it up since he doesn’t trust me to write anything on the sidebars. lol. He knows it would be like crack to me if he lets me loose in this candy store so he doesn’t want to risk me touching his stuff. 🙂

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  De-lurking to drop head in shame and nod. Yes, duly noted, will comment more. 🙂

  FYI my main reason for lurking is being late to the game. I don’t read my “follows” every day, usually more like twice a week, in batches. So frequently, conversation has started and mostly stopped by the time I see the post for the first time. I’ll try not to feel silly leaving my thoughts a day or two after everyone’s moved on! 🙂 And additionally, I’ll try to read on a more daily basis or at least every other day. Just thought I’d throw another “reason” for lurkdom out there!

  Reformed lurker signing off.

  • 

    Hi Devon! I’m always really happy when someone responds to one of my reviews a while after the comments have stopped. It reminds me that the review might still have a lasting affect in people’s minds, or that it hasn’t gone inactive.

    I wonder (and maybe, Wave, do you have stats on how many people link to have comments emailed to them??) if people click the little button below the ‘submit comment’ button that allows them to get all the followup comments? Do they even read them if they do? I know it happens rarely, but sometimes the conversation has died down, but then someone will write a comment and it might start a new line of conversation up again. Just a thought.

    • 

      Hi Cole! I think it’s actually defaulted to checked (at least on mine, it subscribes me automatically). Anytime I’ve commented on a post here, I get all the subsequent posts. Sometimes they pop up months later when someone does the “post on an older thread” thing.

      Great point about liking to know someone’s still looking at the post, so I’ll be sure to add my two cents to the watering hole even if it’s after the herd has departed! 😉

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  I’m one of those that will comment once in a great while. I love this site and the reviews, I like comparing what I thought to someone else. My problem is probably like alot of people, by the time I’m done reading a book thats been reviewed here, a few weeks or longer has past. And then I figure the reviewer doesn’t check back, so what’s the point. Maybe have a place where we could list the book and leave a comment, not just when it was reviewed? Example I just finished Fish & Chips and that was reviewed over a month ago. So where to go to thank Wave for her great review? But just know we really appreciate the reviewers here.

  • 

    Hi, Patti, just to give you some info, we reviewers get email notification of comments on our reviews no matter how much time passes, and I think we’d all answer no matter how old the review is. I couldn’t have put it better than Cole did above when he said,

    I’m always really happy when someone responds to one of my reviews a while after the comments have stopped. It reminds me that the review might still have a lasting affect in people’s minds, or that it hasn’t gone inactive.

    But I see what you mean in that only the reviewer and the last commenter sees the exchange if the review is back in the archives. So there’s no way to draw other people in and point them back to that page except for a New Comment display with links.

    • 

      Val
      It’s amazing how many people read what we consider to be ‘old’ reviews. I get notifications all the time about reviews that are 1 – 2 years old and the comment starts with “I just saw this review …..” It is gratifying to know that 3 years later you have influenced someone to buy a book.

      • 

        Totally gratifying!

• 

  I read this site just about every day, and do try to post often, but it seems to be an ebb and flow – sometimes I can’t shut up, others my brain flatlines, and it usually coincides with whatever’s going on IRL.

  The reviews are *always* helpful and I love all the work that everyone puts into this site to make it so excellent. I’ve bought many a book based on what I’ve read here. No doubt it isn’t said enough, but I (we) truly appreciate everything you all do. {{{hugs}}}

  Marilyn and Reece made a couple good points – sometimes what you want to say has already been said, sometimes the original post has moved so far down the line its (perhaps?) no longer timely, and even though debate is good, fun and educational I *really* hesitate to say anything that may be construed as offensive or insensitive. I’m one of those people who can’t sleep for days if I’ve said something that may have personally upset/offended someone. I have a sarcastic sense of humour, which, as those with similar personalities can attest to, doesn’t always come across so well. I use a lot of winkies. 😉

  And then there’s the reviewers who love a book you don’t. But when you share your views with the reviewer, you’re also speaking to the author. How do you say, “I love you and your writing but this book blows?” That could offend and then I’d not sleep or eat for a few days. 😉

  And now I’m starting to feel like a babbling idiot, hence another reason I sometimes nod at the computer screen instead of actually commenting. So, instead of re-reading and thinking “I’m a dork” and laying heavy on the delete button, I’m just going to hit “submit” and you’re all going to roll your eyes and say, “Yep, dork.” ;P

  • 

    And it was killing me watching that “time left to edit” countdown and not click on the edit button… ;p

  • 

    I know what you mean, LC, about that feeling of sounding like “a babbling idiot” and then getting my time and energy sucked into self-editing a comment before I leave it. Sometimes all that kills the momentum and I don’t leave the comment. It’s much appreciated that you went ahead and left this comment. The basic message left by a comment, regardless of what it actually says, is that you’ve read our work, and that’s always good to know. 🙂

    • 

      “…and then getting my time and energy sucked into self-editing a comment before I leave it. Sometimes all that kills the momentum and I don’t leave the comment.”

      That’s exactly what happens far too often! Usually its because I’m reading before work and run out of time to spend half an hour editing.

      So… I’ll work on being a babbling idiot more often. 😉

      • 

        We can be babbling idiots together! Safety in numbers! 😀

  • 

    LC – Please don’t worry about what everyone’s going to think about your comments. I think that we’d all rather hear what you (anyone else as well) have to say. Lord knows I’ve said a lot of wacky stuff, and sometimes I have to comment again to clarify. And yes sometimes my sense of humor doesn’t come across the way I want and I just hope everyone knows by now that my intention is to be funny not mean. And I totally do the same thing with the clock counting down. The urge to edit can be overwhelming!

    • 

      Thanks, TJ. I like when you’re funny – especially when you get on a roll with Ethan and Buda. Always a good show! 🙂

      • 

        Thank you LC. Those 2 boys have completely corrupted me. I am quite shy and reserved in RL. 🙂

        • 

          Tj

          Those 2 boys have completely corrupted me. I am quite shy and reserved in RL

          That’s the biggest load of horse manure that I have ever heard. You are the worst enabler Teej. 🙂

        • 

          As Buda would say – LMFGAO! Thanks Wave darlin’ – I needed a good laugh! And shhh! – Don’t tell the boys, but I do enjoy egging them on.

• 

  Good post Wave. Thinking back to my lurking days (that sounds kinda pervy you know), I think, as I did back then, that it’s easy to treat the reviews as just a source of information (like the Times book reviews) and no matter how valuable that is, making that plunge into commenting had all the obstacles mentioned already; time, timeliness, feeling that you have something relevant to say, etc.
  I often try to encourage anyone who comments on one of my reviews to came back and let me know what they thought of the book, but that rarely happens. And for me, back in my lurking days, that was because of all the reasons above, plus the amount of time that passed by the time I read the book made commenting seem pointless. And if I didn’t agree with the reviewer, I felt bad.

  • 

    Tj
    Maybe those faceless people who write book reviews for The NY Times wish that someone would give them a good thump from time to time for misleading everyone. lol

    I try to remind the bloggers that the guest reviewers here provide a valuable service and it’s important to give them feedback. How else would they know if the review sucked, or if they totally missed the mark, or if someone bought a book they recommended and it was extraordinarily good?

    You guys spend a lot of time reading and reviewing books for these folks and I think it should be a two way street where they acknowledge what you do.

    As I mentioned before, I get comments years later and respond, unless it’s spam.

• 

  My answer is really simple…..I’m very SHY! You think because this is relatively anonymous it would be easier. I don’t actually know how long I’ve been a lurker but I will try to post at times I have an opinion. I love this site. The reviewers, authors, posts and Jesse are fabulous. I do take the reviews posted seriously when I go to purchase my books. Especially when a book gets a great review on this site, but is not on my list of go to authors. Thanks.

  • 

    Hi Lisa

    When I first started blogging almost 3 years ago I had been reviewing for other sites for several years and was always taken aback when no one commented on my reviews. I thought they sucked. It was only later that I realized that NO ONE commented on any of the reviews. So we were all working for the faceless masses and we never got to know any of the bloggers who read our reviews.

    When I set up my own blog the first thing I tried to do was respond to anyone who commented and at first it was really hard since many times no one commented for weeks and then gradually I gained two faithful readers, one of whom is now a guest reviewer for this site. The others were lurkers like you and I persuaded them to be guest reviewers too. 🙂 Christian, our Webmaster is the biggest lurker and at first he wrote reviews and then decided that his current job suited him better, and I’m most appreciative.

    I do take the reviews posted seriously when I go to purchase my books. Especially when a book gets a great review on this site, but is not on my list of go to authors. Thanks.

    One of the things I try to do is find new authors with whom readers are unfamiliar and of whom they have never heard. I can’t count the number of times that a young, untried author ‘s first book has been read and reviewed by me. Sometimes it’s not so good and needs work but if they are talented I always encourage them and bring them to the attention of the readers.

    Thank you for commenting today and I hope you will comment on at least one review a week. If everyone does that we will be overflowing with comments, based on this site’s readership. 🙂

    Have a great weekend.

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  “what do we have to do to get you to comment more on the reviews?” To be honest, the ones at fault are we, lurkers, that like to be here but not be seen. Commenting for a reason or another takes us out of our comfort zone.
  I have been lurking here for a while and only recently I´ve started to comment from time to time in books that I have already read or that have caught my attention. Since I read also a lot of the old reviews in order to decide if a buy a book or not (I´ve got a lot of homework left to do on backlists) I´m glad you also keep track of previous entries (Val comment 2.1).
  I totally understand the need of feedback so I will add to my New Year resolutions to comment more often 🙂
  Thank you for all your hard work 🙂

  • 

    Hi Helena
    Thank you for commenting today.

    Think of this from the other side. The guest reviewers give you their spare time by reading and reviewing books. They don’t do this for themselves – they do it for every reader of the sub genre who drops by this site and that’s a lot of people who sit on their hands.

    We do respond to comments on older reviews unless the reviewer is no longer here in which case I never see the comment because it goes directly to their email.

    As I said to a few of the other readers, if everyone comments once a week that would be a tremendous response, especially on a review that had very few comments.

• 

  Hmm, I’m a total lurker, though I have been known to leave a comment or 2. Actually 2 is about right =) Like the others I read pretty much all the postings, but if I haven’t read a book I don’t know what to comment other than “sounds interesting, thanks for the rec”. I guess I can always go back later and comment on how fab the rec was. Yay, I just found a totally doable New Year’s Resolution.

  • 

    “sounds interesting, thanks for the rec”.

    That’s a perfectly fine comment. I’m always glad to get one comment like this, or several in a row that say this same thing. 🙂

• 

  Time has been a big issue for me. I have time to post one post, but if there will be replies, I don’t have time to continue…

  But one of my New Year Resolutions is to blog more, and start to de-lurk myself and comment more on all the blogs that I read. 🙂

  • 

    Hi TT
    You only have to comment once unless you want to otherwise it would become a vicious circle.

    But one of my New Year Resolutions is to blog more, and start to de-lurk myself and comment more on all the blogs that I read.

    Thank you. One comment a week should do it and I’ll send you coffee and cookies. 🙂

• 

  See, everyone has already said what I would!

  I visit this site every day. I use the reviews to inform my purchases. I think you and the reviewers do an amazing, thorough, thoughtful job.

  In the case of responding to reviews, I often don’t know what to say. Reviews seem less (to me) of an open dialogue than interviews or other posts. Which doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate reviews. I come here for the reviews. The rest is gravy.

  I almost didn’t write because I felt that since I had been (figuratively) spanked for being anonymous, what would you do if I spoke up?

  I will try to be better about interacting but it is very hard for me to hit the “submit comment” button.

  • 

    Hi Kel

    I almost didn’t write because I felt that since I had been (figuratively) spanked for being anonymous, what would you do if I spoke up?

    See, now that you have spoken up the spanking is going to be with a wet noodle rather than what Teddypig uses to spank. lol.

    I visit this site every day. I use the reviews to inform my purchases. I think you and the reviewers do an amazing, thorough, thoughtful job.

    Thank you for saying that. I would not have known how you felt if you hadn’t come out of lurkdom. 🙂 Obviously I don’t expect you to comment on every review, but those that you’re interested in, even if it’s only 1 review a week, would make a whole heap of difference to the reviewer. If each person who visits this site decided to comment on at least one review a week, think about the difference it would make.

    We value the comments from each and every person who visits the site and we want you to feel that you can disagree. Teddypig disagrees with me all the time but I still welcome him. 🙂 Think of hitting the “submit comment” button as taking a sip of your morning java. The first sip is hot but if you blow on it it becomes easier to drink.

    See you soon Kel – I’ll be watching for you.

  • 

    Haha..exactly as kel said. At this point of the comment list, I have nothing new to add!
    I like the idea of a quick response button suggested above.

    Thanks for doing such a great job on awesome site, all!

    • 

      Hi SL Ang
      I don’t know if it’s possible for Christian to install a quick response button, but I’ll check. He’s already mad at me for all the extra work I give him when he should be cruising the clubs in Germany and hanging out with his friends. 🙂

      Thanks for doing such a great job on awesome site, all!

      You’re welcome. Now we would like to get to know you better. 🙂

• 

  But I definitely will try to go back and follow up 😀

• 

  I’m learning a lot here from these comments. For example, I hadn’t thought about the fact that the visitors don’t know that we receive email notification on every comment and respond however old the review/article is.

  Also, I didn’t know that many visitors can experience signifcant tension about commenting and disagreeing or commenting and sounding negative, which is understandable now that I think about it.

  Kel makes a good point about reviews not being seen as an open dialog, not like the op-ed pieces or author profiles. I can totally understand that.

  That’s why I look more to the “views” than than the comments on my book reviews. But when that number stays down … ugh, I don’t know what to think. Very few page views on my reviews means that, for whatever reason, readers aren’t clicking in and reading my reviews. They might find me boring. Entirely possible! 😀

  Or they might be so busy that they’re not clicking in, but they are scanning the numeric rating at the top and reading the summary line. At that point, I’m still happy that I’m able help (though it starts to seem less worthwhile to write a long review to back up the rating/summary line). But there’s not a way to track whether or not readers are looking at the top information without clicking in.

  Maybe adding an acknowledgement / quick response buttons like Reggie and Slang mentioned is the way to go.

• 

  I guess I tend to think that constant visits = approval, so posting just to say “I approve” feels a bit redundant. I speak up occasionally when I think I have something to add.

  Sometimes though I don’t comment because I don’t want to be negative. I recently read the second book from a new author which got a 5* review. Having read the first work, which I loved, I was looking forward to this one, but then found it disappointing: melodramatic and factually farfetched. Not sure I want to rain on anyone’s parade to that extent.

  As the happy recent recipient of a free book (Voices of the Silent by T A Chase), I’m planning to add a review under the post announcing my win – I don’t suppose it will get read much, but it will be up there for anyone who searches. So far, it’s a thumbs up, fortunately.

  • 

    Hi Allie2
    One of the reasons we post reviews is not for everyone to agree with us but to get feedback about whether we were on the mark or off. Everyone’s taste is different or we would live in a world made up of duplicates, so disagreeing about a reviewer’s opinion is not a big deal.

    I wrote a post about reviewing a couple of months ago in which I talked about the fact that sometimes my tastes and those of other reviewers are so divergent I wonder if we read the same book. But it’s all good because it’s simply a matter of opinion. I wish you had commented on that post which got quite spirited. lol.

    Reviewers have to develop thick skins just like authors because we know that some of the people will disagree with us some of the time and we can’t take offence. I like to debate issues – sometimes I may have read a book that someone else reviewed here and I didn’t agree with the rating, so I would politely indicate why I felt differently. 🙂

    Re Voices of the Silent, you could wait until the book is reviewed and write a comment with your own mini review – whether or not you agreed with the reviewer.

    Thank you for commenting.

• 

  Hi,

  I’m another one of those (longtime) lurkers ‘guilted’ into de-lurking.
  I visit your site a couple of times a week just because of the reviews.
  I honestly never thought about it from the reviewer’s point of view.

  So if you don’t mind comments like:
  “Hey, thanks for the review, I bought the book and liked it/didn’t like it because…”
  I’ll try and post more. Especially if it was the review which prompted me to buy the book.

  And I have to say that I really appreciate the lower-stars reviews. They will often prompt me to buy a book just to see whether or not I agree with the reviewer.

  Now I just have to come back and actually tell the reviewer what I thought. XD

  • 

    Hi Saf
    Thank you for commenting. The only way we know if you even saw the saw the review or read what we wrote is if you comment. Of course we don’t expect you to comment on every review – even I can’t do that. However, if you comment on those that you’re interested in, or if you have read the book and agree or disagree that would be a good time to start commenting.

    Feedback is very important and if no one comments we sometimes wonder why we’re doing this job which involves a lot of hard work.

    And I have to say that I really appreciate the lower-stars reviews. They will often prompt me to buy a book just to see whether or not I agree with the reviewer

    I’m so glad to hear someone say that. Those are the hardest reviews to write because sometimes it’s quite a downer to write a negative review. Authors think we love them but we really don’t.

    Looking forward to hearing from you occasionally in the future Saf. One comment a week should do it. lol

    • 

      I have to say, I’m a fan of the 1 star reviews. I have been known to buy a book because it just sounds too f**ktastic (can I say that here?) to be true. Sometimes they are as good as a 5+ review just for the sake of pure entertainment. But I suppose that’s not something an author wants to hear..

      • 

        F**ktastic? That’s awesome. I think I’ve picked up a new word. 🙂

        • 

          Glad I could add to your vocabulary. Someone may regret encouraging me to vocalize. Just sayin.

    • 

      And I have to say that I really appreciate the lower-stars reviews. They will often prompt me to buy a book just to see whether or not I agree with the reviewer

      I’m so glad to hear someone say that. Those are the hardest reviews to write

      Yes, absolutely. I’m glad to hear this, too.

  • 

    Saf-
    thanks for your comments 🙂 I have also been a long time lurker( couple years plus..) never really thought about this from the reviewers pov.. guess I thought if they were posting on this site they knew their reviews were good 😀 I have based many purchases after reading reviews on this site..can’t say how many , but its probably obscene since I have spent way to much on ebooks – since finding them especially this genre. Now that I know will try to convince my type B personality that its okay to “come out and express herself” I really value the time and energy put in to ALL reviews! this is a great review site and one of the very few that have ever got me to come out from hiding. sigh * now just push that submit button…maybe their is therapy for that..or not.*g* lol

• 

  Thanks for the info Val. See I didn’t know that the reviewers got notified about comments being left. So now my excuse has been taken away, and I’ll have to do better. Just be warned I may not always agree, but that’s half the fun of reading, forming your own opinions on a story.

  • 

    Patti, you’re very welcome.

    now my excuse has been taken away, and I’ll have to do better.

    😀

• 

  Maybe we simply have nothing to say. What counts is that we show up everyday and read what you have to say.

  There’s nothing wrong with 350 visitors a day. That’s 350 people who respect your opinions and check with you before they buy. If that’s not what you want, if commenters are the only visitors you appreciate, perhaps our time is better spent elsewhere.

  • 

    No, Ali, not at all. Please don’t take offense. The page views are the bottom line. When all is said and done, we can always look at our blog traffic and feel immensely grateful that you’re showing up and reading in silence. The comments are really just the icing on the top.

    My concern is more when the page views themselves drop, and it’s certainly true that the www is a meritocracy. If people don’t find anything worthwhile, there’s no reason to expect them to click.

    I would be curious if the low page views are a reflection of readers finding more of value in the header material (the numeric rating and summary line) and if they don’t have time to click through. If so, and there is unfortunately no way to track that, it’s still good that our reviews are useful.

    • 

      And THAT is why I don’t comment. It took 15 minutes to get that post right and it still came out wrong.

      I didn’t take offense. I simply wanted to point out exactly what you said, Val; page views and the time each person spends on the site are the true indicators of how you’re doing.

      • 

        Oh, okay, Ali, I understand. 🙂 Yes, online communication can be so tricky without those visual clues to help us pick up nuances! Thanks for writing back and letting us know you weren’t offended. We’re totally on the same page, you and I, about those page views.

        • 

          We’re totally on the same page,

          ::groan:: No pun intended!

  • 

    Ali- I agree with Val. I am very grateful when I see the view count go up, even if only a few people comment. It makes the work that I put into a review seem worth it. I don’t always comment on reviews myself. Sometimes I simply have nothing to say, (shocking I know) and sometimes I just say a few words.
    But I do this simply because I love books and am not expecting anything, but I am also very happy to hear from whoever wants to comment. I (and I’m sure the other reviewers as well) appreciate everyone who stops by.

• 

  I’m starting to de-lurk and you may yet come to wish I had stayed lurked since I have a tendency to babble 🙂

  I think that this post will bring some lurkers out; the one last year nearly did it for me. However, at the time I was burned out at my job trying to find the courage to strike out on my own, not to mention extensive dental treatment I was going to through 🙁 Anyway it was not a good time to strike out of my comfort zone.

  So my reasons for lurking.
  1. Laziness. It doesn’t take much time to read but writing comments it’s a lot slower – at least for me.
  2. Time. See above.
  3. Unfamiliarity (and unease) with social media. I wasn’t sure about conventions, about how to reply, how interaction works etc. I felt my comments would be too brief, too long, not to the point or whatever. It also seemed that those who comment here know each other well and adding my comment would be like crashing a party.
  4. As for reviews I never really thought that blog format invites comments unlike more traditional forms of review.

  So why have I started to comment – not much yet but getting better? I did leave my job and work from home now so I have more time. Due to time difference I’ve become on serial stalker on the site, checking if there is something new at 2pm, 3pm, 4pm – you get the picture 🙂 I can also justify the time it takes to write comments by saying I need to brush up my English 🙂 Finally, the most important thing to give me courage to start commenting was last post about lurkers because it made it clear you really want us to comment.

  In the future I’ll try to comment more on reviews – whether it is to thank the reviewers for introducing me to a book I wouldn’t have bought otherwise or to blame them for convincing me with a 5 start review to buy a book I’d given a pass because I was certain I wouldn’t like – and disliking it in the end as much as I thought I would. Both have happened 🙂

  • 

    Sorry for meddling here Val and Wave but I love kaija`s comment!

    –“””In the future I’ll try to comment more on reviews – whether it is to thank the reviewers for introducing me to a book I wouldn’t have bought otherwise or to blame them for convincing me with a 5 start review to buy a book I’d given a pass because I was certain I wouldn’t like – and disliking it in the end as much as I thought I would. Both have happened :-)”””–

    *LOL*
    …and Kaija,don`t you dare not coming back!

    Hugs 😀

    • 

      Simsala, you’re not meddling at all. It’s great to have you join in! 🙂

  • 

    I’ve become on serial stalker on the site, checking if there is something new at 2pm, 3pm, 4pm – you get the picture.

    This is so nice to hear, very flattering! I’ll add more of a reply in just a few more minutes.

  • 

    In the future I’ll try to comment more on reviews – whether it is to thank the reviewers for introducing me to a book I wouldn’t have bought otherwise or to blame them for convincing me with a 5 start review to buy a book I’d given a pass because I was certain I wouldn’t like – and disliking it in the end as much as I thought I would. Both have happened

    That sounds great, Kaija! As your time permits, of course. We wouldn’t want anybody to feel stressed out about having to comment all the time. That is, we want visitors to feel good, not guilty, about visiting. 😀 Ali made a good point above about the page views being much more important than the commenting.

    As for brushing up on your English, believe me, your English is really good. I am amazed and so impressed all the time by visitors who comment here in English, and do a great job of communicating, and then say that English is their second language!

    It always makes me think of the pitiful handful of words I have in French (and even fewer words in Spanish, and zero words in German). Everyone here on this comments thread is what I would consider fluent in English.

    And congratulations on changing from the stressful job last year to working at home now! It’s always good to have more time. 🙂

• 

  Im not naitive english speaker, and truthfully use english only by reading mm novels. Im not confortable to reveal my opinion and in the same time reveal my lack in english grammar or vocabluary. Even this short post was check several times but im sure there is some mistakes 🙂 (sorry about that)
  in my native language ther is only a few mm novels and i read them all :)when i finished and discovered that was not enought I was made to read them in english 🙂 i have not enought time and will to sit with ditictionary and reading only “decent” books. So I enter regulary this site only to search for inspiraton. im gratefull for your revies, they are really helpfull 🙂

  • 

    Arielle, thank you so much! This is a wonderful comment, and I have no trouble understanding you. I can’t imagine how hard it would be for me to try to comment in Polish. I don’t have a single word. It is so gratifying to know that there are mm readers in Poland who are so passionate about reading the genre as you are. Thanks again very much for the comment. 🙂

  • 

    Hi Arielle,
    like you I`m not a native speaker.I`m commenting for 2 years now and I`m still making mistakes in English grammar and vocabulary.And you know what? – No one laughs,complains or cares!
    This is the friendliest site in the WWW.
    You`re a nice and friendly person and you love reading m/m romance.That`s all that matters!

    I would love to see you as a comment-buddy
    in the future! 🙂

    s.

    • 

      This is the friendliest site in the WWW.
      

      Thank you, Simsala! 😀 I think that’s a great idea to have comment-buddies.

• 

  There are a variety of reasons that I read this blog regularly but comment infrequently. Often, like many others, I read a post when it’s already old and the “discussion” seems to be concluded. Other times I will read through a post and all the comments and then sit staring at the “leave a reply” box, coming up with and discarding 42 comments before finally deciding to spare you all my scintillating wit and going to make cookies instead. 😉

  • 

    Understandable. The thing where everything’s been said already tends to get me not to comment as well.

    I wish there was a way for you to send us some of those cookies. 😛

• 

  I comment fairly regularly when I feel I have something to say or add to a discussion. However, like many of the others have stated, I usually view the reviews as a source of information about whether or not I’m interested in reading a book. If the book earns a 5 or 5+ AND it is content that I like to read, I will comment that this is a book I’m interested in reading and thanks for the review. But my book reading time is limited, so I tend not to read the books that earn anything less than a 4. So, if I clearly know I’m not going to read a book, I’m not sure anyone wants to read my comments about preferring not to read menage or BDSM, for example.

  I also usually read the books after having read the review. I can comment on my take on the book, but I usually do that on my Goodreads list in order to keep track of the books I’ve read and whether or not I liked the book. At least one of your reviewers is a friend of mine on Goodreads, so he gets my comments. I also find it difficult sometimes to track down a book title a month or 2 after it’s been reviewed. I know I can use the search button to track down the book. Knowing that the reviewers receive comments well after the book has been reviewed on the site, I will make more effort to track down the book and comment.

  Do the reviewers always remember the details of a book if it’s been more than 2 or 3 months? All of the reviewers read so much; how easy is it for them to remember and comment back to me comfortably?

  • 

    Do the reviewers always remember the details of a book if it’s been more than 2 or 3 months? All of the reviewers read so much; how easy is it for them to remember and comment back to me comfortably?

    I can’t speak for everyone, but one of the reasons I like reviewing is because actually writing down my thoughts makes me organize my thoughts about a book, so for me, a book that I have reviewed I will always remember details about it. A book that I’ve just read like everyone else? I tend to get sloppy mentally, and it’s a crapshoot sometimes if I even remember reading it 🙂

  • 

    Patty, I agree with Cole in that I tend to remember the details of a book I review better than my pleasure reading. And if I get a comment about a particular plot point that I don’t recall, I’ll pull out the book to check.

  • 

    Hi, Patty, yes, I’m with Cole and TJ. If I’ve written a review, I remember the book. I’m always glad to talk with somebody about a book. Time passing is not an issue.

    Feel free to friend me on Goodreads if you like (only if you have time — I won’t be offended if you don’t). I’m not sure how to find you, but here’s a link to me:

    http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4121444.Val_Kovalin

    • 

      …Time passing is not an issue.

      Agreed! In fact, sometimes time passed is good, because my view of the book has changed and it reminds me to revisit an old favorite.

    • 

      Val, I followed up and submitted a friend request on Goodreads; thank you for making the offer. 🙂

      It makes sense to me that having read a book 2 or 3 times in order to write an accurate review helps you remember the book.

      Thanks for answering my question. It’s good to know. Now I will bother each of you when I get the chance. 😉

      • 

        Oh, excellent! You’re very welcome, and thank you. 🙂 I’ll go check my email.

• 

  I am not a lurker but started out as one. It took me a while ( 4 months!) to get the courage to reply to post and comments. Of course this was back in the day ( wipes dust from shoulders). I checked my email and my first reply dates from april ’09. The site was much smaller then so easier to get into you would think, but I though it had a cliquey feeling. After reading for 4 months I thought I knew the people and it felt “safe” to reply. And I am still there so no one scared me away. haha

  • 

    “Back in the day” – lol – *sneeze*

  • 

    This. Obviously, I’m not a lurker any more, but this is exactly why it took me a long time to de-lurk. XD

    I had to know that people here were O.K. before I stated any opinions, especially those that opposed the majority. I have to say this is one of the most democratic sites in the big, wide WWW. People do have strong opinions, but they are also opened to different ones. Very friendly, polite and, more importantly, very funny. So, once I my flag was staked, it stayed for good. I’m thinking about building a mansion too, lol.

    • 

      So, once I my flag was staked, it stayed for good. I’m thinking about building a mansion too, lol.

      Excellent, Lady M! I’m so pleased.

      And I know what you mean about having to get to know people first before commenting. There are some blogs I’ve been to (as a a lurker) that generate the most unpleasant mood with full-scale bickering and small mobs ganging up on individuals, and it’s just the worst, like grade school all over again.

      So I can appreciate how visitors want to be cautious at first and watch how the interaction goes before committing to a comment.

  • 

    Ingrid, wow, you were a lurker at one time? Hard to believe. It really seems like you’re part of the reviewing staff now. 🙂

    The clique-y feeling can be a major turn-off, and it can come across that way to newcomers for the most subtle reasons.

    I’ll admit that I didn’t come back for a several weeks after my very first visit here (I can’t remember when this was) because my comment sat unanswered for a while (like maybe a few hours — I was such a doofus!). Anyway, I’m glad I gave it a second chance, and I’m glad you kept coming back, too, and commenting. 🙂

    • 

      I haven’t written a review for this site ( did a few short ones on GR) but, I did write two posts.

      • 

        I did write two posts.

        That’s right! I remember. You’re definitely part of the staff. 🙂

      • 

        You were also a judge in our Fun Writing Competition Ingrid and I hope that the winner will go on to bigger and better things. Who knows? lol

• 

  I lurk more on the reviews because I don’t have all that much time when I’m reading through the week, although I’m trying to comment more!

  Fridays are a good day for me to catch up on my RSS feeds because I’m at home and have a bit of time spare (but not spare enough to actually write as my daughter is around). That’s often why I end up commenting on the Friday posts 🙂

  • 

    Friday’s are nice because you can choose something pretty to take home with 😀

  • 

    Hi, Josephine! I can understand how the RSS feed can shape your blog-visiting patterns. For example, if you save Friday for reading and clearing your RSS feeds (which is a great idea, by the way, because then you’re setting some boundaries so the internet doesn’t become a giant time-suck), then you’re coming in on some discussions after a few days have lapsed.

    It’s always appreciated by us reviewers if you go ahead and comment even if the review or piece is now far in the past, but I can see how it wouldn’t be as much fun if the group has moved on since then.

• 

  As a late New Year’s resolution, I will try to avoid the heinous sin of not commenting on the wonderful reviews and items of interest that make this site one of my favourites. Thank you, and apologies, to all the reviewers and contributors. In many cases, I expect people are simply shy about joining in the conversation even if they do have an opinion or could provide further insight on a topic.

  • 

    Hi, Jen, and thank you for the comment. No apologies are necessary, believe me, because we’re thrilled to have you just showing up and reading. And how very cool to hear that this site is one of your favorites!

    I think you’re right about the shyness thing. I’m hearing that in several comments. That, and the feeling that everything has already been said, which is understandable.

    Fortunately, this post gives us reviewers a chance to clear up any visitor misconception that we’re a snobby bunch that can’t be bothered to welcome newcomers. Believe me, we’re thrilled to get comments, especially when it’s from someone who has never commented before. It’s a major thrill to coax a lurker into coming out of hiding 😀 , especially if we can do so without resorting to controversial posts 100% of the time.

• 

  Hell, Im a diehard lurker and didnt know it.
  See?, the majority of the posts have said what I wanted to post. I did not realize you guys get notified when someone comments on your old posts. I read your reviews and use them as a guideline when Im buying online. I have bought books rated 3 or lower and would have given them a 4+ or more. I found your website about 4-5 months ago, only because I went to Google and needed a list of review sites for m/m romances. Your site captivated me from the start with the photo of the two men on your home page. Totally Erotic. Am I digressing?
  Now that I know there is a name for non-posting visitors, I will make a concerted effort to post, not right away..Ive gotta lot of books to read.

  • 

    Your site captivated me from the start with the photo of the two men on your home page. Totally Erotic. Am I digressing?

    The guys in the top banner? Aren’t they hot? 😀

    I’m so glad to hear that you’re using the site as buying guide. An, as an author, I’m glad to hear that you’re cutting the books more slack than we might be doing on our reviews, ha, ha! That’s good to know. 😉

    • 

      You guys are doing a great job. Thank you for all that you do and that we dont see.

      • 

        That’s music to our ears, Hannah! Thank you so much for saying so. 🙂

• 

  Hi, there!

  I look in here more often than I comment, which is seldom because the edit feature drives me bananas. I type fast and often make small mistakes, but the “edit” screen jumps around on my computer. I type a word, and the line jumps out of site at the bottom, I have to scroll back… a 30-second comment can take ten minutes to edit.

  As far as lower reviews.. My guess is that authors aren’t going to comment because, hey, we’re human, and even if (especially if) the criticism is warranted, it’s hard to say “Hey, thanks for 3 stars, you’re right, my hero is really a dork.” And… even if I think a story was as bad as a reviewer said (again, maybe especially if), I don’t want to post and say “Wow, that sounds like a good one to avoid.” I’ve done that once or twice when a story was rape-as-romance, but generally if the reviewer has already said something’s awful, I don’t want to add insult to injury.

  This is a terrific site and I can’t suggest any changes because the only thing I’ve got problems with is (occasionally) navigation–and I expect you’re doing the best you can with so much to post.

  PS — I saw your “likes big dogs..” You’ve got to meet Watson sometime. He’s not quite 7 months and is already over 70 pounds (and very goodnatured–1/4 Lab).

  • 

    Hi Lee
    How great to see you. I have to tell you this before I forget. Alex is writing a post on January 24 that will tickle you, so please make a note. 🙂

    Re the edit feature – I thought that the new comment plug-in had solved that problem. I’ll bring it to Christian’s attention because I remember how annoying it was.

    it’s hard to say “Hey, thanks for 3 stars, you’re right, my hero is really a dork.” And… even if I think a story was as bad as a reviewer said (again, maybe especially if), I don’t want to post and say “Wow, that sounds like a good one to avoid.”

    That is so funny. I sometimes wonder how authors feel when we don’t exactly praise their books to the skies, but at least we’re never cruel (at least I don’t think so).

    I LOIVE big dogs. My Doberman Jesse, for whom this site was named was quite tall. I’m so pleased that the puppy that you got just a few short months ago is now 70 pounds. I once had a lab mix and they are the most good natured dogs.

    Thanks for coming by Lee and don’t forget to come back on January 24.

    Have a great weekend.

• 

  I would consider myself a lurker too, since I really only comment very rarely, and then mostly on the Friday Guys, and even then I usually add something to make it a joke.
  I’m a deadicated reader, reading very review and post, but here’s my list of excuses
  1. I feel so out of my element here, thinking “what in the world is a straight married women from the bible belt doing on a gay mans review site? What can I possible add?”

  2.I’m not a writer, and have a terrible time stringing words together to even post this post. I’m a CPA or chartered accountant, as they call us in other countries, and I do numbers only. Sometimes I want to post something, but just not sure how to word my post to make it something besides munbo jumbo.

  3. I too thought just coming to the site and reading everything was good enough. I do enjoy the reviews/reviewers and have already attached myself virtually to a few of them (I hope Cole doesn’t read this post). I thought that by going and buying the book after reading the review was enough.

  4. I didn’t want to sound/look dumb in front of talented writers, authors, and reviews. (see above about not being able to string together words.)

  5. I’m a die hard wall flower, always staying out of a heated or not so heated debate.

  I almost deleted my post at this point (see reason #4), then I thought about the Christmas book givaway, and thought that if that many writers can do something like that, then maybe the least we can do ( as readers) is to comment on a book of theirs that a reviewer might have spent hours reading and writing about, if only to say “great review”, or “not to my liking” or something.

  Thanks Wave, for posting this.

  • 

    I’m a deadicated reader, reading very review and post

    Hope, that’s awesome! I had no idea that there were visitors reading everything.

    AS for number #1 excuse on your list, I can equal it. I’m also a straight married woman. I’m not from the Bible belt, but I am in my forties! 😀

    Seriously, though, no one such as us (you and me) should feel out of place here because m/m is hugely popular with woman as well as with gay men. Probably easily 60% or 70% of the visitors to this site are straight women like us.

    As for #2 and #4, you need never worry about not having a PhD degree in literature when coming here to give your opinion. I myself wouldn’t be involved with this site if it were an elitist, academic kind of place.

    We can, if we absolutely have to, use writerly terms like “trope” or “world-building,” but it’s much more fun to just talk about, “Did you believe that character would act like that?” and “Was the beginning boring and why?” and “Which movie stars would you love to cast as the leads in your favorite m/m book?” 😀

    I understand your #5 totally. I don’t much like debate. I tend to stay out of them. No problem.

    And as for #3, well, I think Cole is going to love this. 🙂 How flattering! You know what? If one of our reviews has got you to buy a book, you should definitely come back and say so in the comment. It’s enough to say only, “I bought the book!” I’d be very flattered to hear that, and the author of the book (and I know that most check reviews) would probably love to hear it, too. 🙂

  • 

    Hi Hope
    We all have different talents and although I work with numbers they are not my first love. One of the reasons I love reviewing is because it takes me away from fricking numbers. 🙂

    Please do not feel that anyone is judging you because you lack optimum writing skills. The more you write the better you become. When I first started reviewing I too was a lot shyer and I didn’t think anyone would want to read my reviews or blog posts. I have been reviewing for over 5 years (it might be more than that) and have had my own blog for almost 3 years. Every day gets better, except for the lack of sleep. 🙁

    You won’t sound dumb because you voice an opinion with which that everyone disagrees. It happens to me every day I put myself out there. I have written blog posts where I get my ass handed to me but that doesn’t stop me from coming back the next week (although some people probably wish I would stop.) 🙂

    If you read a book that’s been reviewed please give your opinion, even if you disagree with the reviewer. We like to know WHY you think our review is not on the up and up. How else can we learn?
    We are certainly not infallible and I can show you countless instances where we may have screwed up. Sometimes we may have totally misinterpreted something in the story. So never be afraid of giving your opinion in fear that you could be wrong, believe me you have lots of company.

    Thanks for posting this Hope and I hope it means that you will “practice” more in the future. 😉

  • 

    Yes. I completely agree with points 4 and 5. I can’t just write a comment and let it go. I wish I could. I spend 20 editing my Facebook posts and that’s for people who know I’m a big dork. Writing comments for people who don’t know me is trickier and scarier. You’d think the anonymity of it all would ease my near-phobia, but it really doesn’t.

    Having said all that, I love this site. I enjoy reading all the reviews and posts, and I really appreciate the friendly atmosphere. I will also make more of an effort to leave my comfortable corner and comment more. Thank you all for your hard work.

    (And now, I’m going to hit ‘submit comment’ and then run to another site, so I’m not tempted to edit or delete this comment. 🙂 )

    • 

      Yes. I completely agree with points 4 and 5. I can’t just write a comment and let it go. I wish I could. I spend 20 editing my Facebook posts

      Hi, Chris G., and yes, I do this, too (except for the Facebook part). There is a bit of stage-fright involved in putting a comment out there. And then this little comment-edit function on this blog isn’t the most user-friendly thing to use.

      I’m so glad to hear that you consider this site to have a friendly, welcoming atmosphere! That is often a very subtle thing, and it can make a huge difference in how relaxed visitors feel about commenting.

• 

  I’d like to apologise to the reviewers, because I haven’t been seeing things from your point of view! ie needing feedback. I devour the site everyday and occasionally comment, but usually on the articles rather than the reviews. This is primarily because I haven’t read the books as the reviews tend to be posted very promptly. Sometimes in Wave’s preview of the week ahead I will note that one of the books to be reviewed is in my tbr pile. I have thought about reading it quickly so I have something to say, but rarely get around to it. So my first resolution is to carry this through.

  I also feel uncomfortable about the issue of the lower review marks. My tbr pile is huge (well figuratively speaking as it is all stacked away in Calibre!). I have taken to looking at the mark and summary, ignoring the books with lower marks and concentrating on the 4.5 – 5 marks because I assume these will be the books I will enjoy the most. I know this is not logical because I have really enjoyed some books which get lower ratings here (and thought others very overrated). So resolution 2 is to read the whole review, even if I don’t comment it will show up that I have viewed the page.

  Like Allie2 (#18) I think I would like to write a short review of the book I won in the Christmas giveaway – as a way to thank my donor (Christine Price, In Darkness Bound). I’m hoping Wave will provide an opportunity for grateful recipients to do this. (Sounds like a 3rd resolution!)

  • 

    Hi Rachel
    Thank you for commenting and I do see you commenting on the blog posts.

    When a book is rated as 3 stars it’s always wise to read the review because the same things that turned off the reviewer might be a turn on for you. Reviews are always a matter of personal opinion, someone’s opinion, and if that someone’s taste does not align with yours you could be missing some spectacular books based on your criteria. The same thing holds true for books rated 5 stars.

    I believe on every review where the rating is below 4 stars (recommended on this site) we usually say that the rating is a personal opinion and others may feel differently. I have read books rated as 2 stars that I would have rated as 5 stars (but then I’m probably the highest scorer on this site) lol.

    If enough of you would like a venue to write a short review of books that you won at the Christmas Giveaway or even a free book, I could set up a post – similar to the one for readers to post their Top Books of 2010.

    • 

      If enough of you would like a venue to write a short review of books that you won at the Christmas Giveaway or even a free book, I could set up a post – similar to the one for readers to post their Top Books of 2010.

      That’s a great idea!

• 

  “they are scanning the numeric rating at the top and reading the summary line”

  I’ve been guilty of doing this. If the summary doesn’t sound like a book that I’d be interested in, I’ll skip reading the rest of the review if I’m short of time.

  It sounds like you’re looking for a book review/book discussion, Wave. When I first started reading this site, in my head I separated the articles into “for discussion” and the reviews as “for information.” I can change my mindset. 🙂

  I wonder if people who visit the site would be interested in a book discussion format, periodically. I would like to discuss a book with reviewers and other readers if I knew ahead of time what book(s) to read, rather than responding after the fact (and sometimes way after the fact!)

  • 

    I’ve been guilty of doing this. If the summary doesn’t sound like a book that I’d be interested in, I’ll skip reading the rest of the review if I’m short of time.

    Thank you SO much for that feedback, Patty! I kept bringing this up, hoping somebody would chime in with an opinion.

    The page views for my reviews have decreased recently as near as I can tell versus what they were in the past. In other words, fewer people are clicking the link and reading the review itself.

    It is very good to know (in fact, it’s a big relief) that I’m still helping out with the header material (the numeric rating and the summary review) in my reviews even if people don’t have the time to read.

    • 

      Val, I mentioned it in my first comment many hours ago, but there are topics that I’m not comfortable reading. If the summary alludes to one of those (menage/multiple partners, extreme BDSM content, explicit violence, or too much angst, for example) I will choose not to read the review. If it feels like I might still like it, or I’m interested in what the reviewer has to say, I’ll go back when I have time to read the review and really consider the book and the reviewers thoughts. Having not read the book, I may or may not have something to say. In reflection, I can ask clarifying questions of the reviewer to be more certain of whether or not the content is objectionable.

      As Wave enlists the help of more reviewers who are able to diversify and cover more and more sub-genres within the m/m genre, readers are going to find certain books more appealing. I think in that case, the number of people reading the reviews of certain types of books might, in fact, go down. I’d have to go back and check to see which of you have a particular passion for reading and reviewing which types of books, but I know for a fact that I read more and comment on the reviews written by the reviewers whose taste in reading most matches my own.

      Wave can take some comfort in the idea that she has created a site that is large enough and utilizes the skill of enough talented reviewers to be covering some very specific niches. I can’t think of another blog site able to do that. And yes, I find it extremely helpful. I have only read a couple of books recommended on the site that I didn’t really enjoy. My TBR/TBP lists are an indicator of how well you are all doing your jobs. 🙂

      • 

        Patty, excellent food for thought here! Thank you so much for coming back to say this.

        You said: ” If the summary alludes to one of those (menage/multiple partners, extreme BDSM content, explicit violence, or too much angst, for example) I will choose not to read the review.”

        It hadn’t occurred to me to think of mentioning these things in the summary line. That’s very good feedback. I don’t mind ménage (though many readers do, now that I think about it), but I’m totally with you on the extreme BDSM, explicit violence, and too much angst. I’ll be more aware of this in the future.

        You said: ” As Wave enlists the help of more reviewers who are able to diversify and cover more and more sub-genres within the m/m genre, readers are going to find certain books more appealing. I think in that case, the number of people reading the reviews of certain types of books might, in fact, go down.”

        I hadn’t thought about this. I see what you mean. That’s not good for the reviewers and authors of the unpopular types of books, but I have to admit it would be fascinating to see the trends develop through the differences in total page views.

        Also, it totally makes sense that most readers would gravitate towards the reviewers that they have the most in common with and comment there.

        This is true, too: Wave can take some comfort in the idea that she has created a site that is large enough and utilizes the skill of enough talented reviewers to be covering some very specific niches. . I can’t think of another blog site able to do that.

        Thanks, Patty! This is all good to know.

• 

  Wave,
  I am also one of your dedicated lurker’s and a voracious reader, I have been visiting this site now at least a couple of times a week on a regular basis for the past year and I love it.
  The reason I don’t post is that I really only use the Internet for its ability to provide information and allow me to purchase the types of books I enjoy. So while I’ve embraced the ipod for audio books, my Kindle for e-books and online books stores and this site for reviews, I’ve really only ever thought “Gee the Internet is handy”.
  I don’t belong to any of the social media sites and in all honesty have never really thought that is was required to respond here. (Is my age showing? ?) But as you have so kindly pointed out in the nicest possible way, we are having a one way relationship.
  As someone who buys quite a few e-books on your review recommendations overall I think all your reviewers do terrific work, the reviews are succinct, clear and honest and the ratings are credible in as far as any book review is subjective.
  With the exception of one recent 5 star review book which I hated (subjectivity again ?) your review ratings more often than not fall into the same vicinity as my thoughts when I’ve read one of the books and that is no reflection on me, but on your reviewers who really do succeed in directing us lurker’s ? to books that deserve to be read or do not give us any higher expectations than a book requires, for myself it has allowed me to be pleasantly surprised on some of the 3 star books I’ve read.
  In addition as yet none of your reviewers has fallen prey to the dreaded “ I’ll give every book by this author or I’ll just give every book ” 5 stars syndrome.
  In closing I’ve addressed my guilt ?, and like other respondents to this post, I will now worry for the next week about having done this, have I waffled, not answered the question, just should have continued to lurk only, etc ? but hopefully I’ve paid my debt.
  I can’t promise to do this too often but if you can accept to quote Saf “Hey, thanks for the review, I bought the book and liked it/didn’t like it because…” (In 10 words or less……… then I will try.)
  Thanks

  • 

    Hi, Theresa, this is very understandable:

    The reason I don’t post is that I really only use the Internet for its ability to provide information […] I’ve really only ever thought “Gee the Internet is handy”.

    We all tend to be like this. The internet has shaped us to want to search it fast for free info with the understanding on both sides (the providers of info and searchers for info) that there is no time for interaction. When I’m looking for info, I almost never think to interact.

    Sometimes, though, on the provider side of it, we providers can burn out. We put a huge amount of time into reading and reviewing, and sometimes what little we get back in the way of acknowledgement makes it seem not worth it. I’m starting to get to that point with my page views per review going down because that’s the main feedback I have on the work I’m doing here.

    This here,

    I can’t promise to do this too often but if you can accept to quote Saf “Hey, thanks for the review, I bought the book and liked it/didn’t like it because…” (In 10 words or less……… then I will try.)

    is very good feedback, even if you can’t do it all that often, and is much appreciated! 🙂

• 

  Way too many comments for me to read right now, so forgive me if someone’s already said this…

  I do sometimes comment on reviews, but not as often as I don’t. When I do have something to say, it doesn’t really matter whether the review is one which give high ratings or low. It’s more whether the story sounds appealing. When that happens, I’ll usually say something or other, even if it’s just “nice review, I’m adding this to my buy-list”.

  In other cases, I don’t say anything because I’m not planning on reading the story, or it might be one I’ve already read and don’t have any strong feelings about, one way or another. (Or I absolutely hated the book and don’t feel comfortable saying so.)

  That being said, now that you’ve mentioned it? I suppose it could seem rather dismissive of the reviewers (who work very hard to prepare their reviews) if I just go on along my merry way and don’t even acknowledge their efforts to elighten/inform all of us.

  Time can definitely be an issue, but I’m going to try to do better. Reviewing is, in a sense, a labor of love. Some comment-love is definitely deserved by all you guys!

  ~Tis *hides ‘slacker-hat’ behind back*

  • 

    In other cases, I don’t say anything because I’m not planning on reading the story, or it might be one I’ve already read and don’t have any strong feelings about, one way or another. (Or I absolutely hated the book and don’t feel comfortable saying so.)

    I know what you mean, TC. I’m not sure what to say in these cases either. Then that can further sap my momentum to leave a comment as I try to think of something else to say! 🙂

    I’m going to try to do better. Reviewing is, in a sense, a labor of love. Some comment-love is definitely deserved by all you guys!

    That sounds good!

    • 

      *hee* Working on it already. 😛

      Also, when I do comment, I try to find something good to say about whatever book it is. This is because I’m a fence-sitter (aka – coward :P). *nods*

      I don’t want to just say “This didn’t work for me at all” because it feels rude. I’d rather be able to say “I didn’t like the characters but the setting was very well done” or “I loved the pacing and the writing style but never connected with the story itself.” Sadly, this is not always possible. 🙁

      Yes, I realize commenting on a review doesn’t require that sort of analysis, but I really am in favor of offering that proverbial spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. Even in comments. LOL

      ~Tis

      • 

        Tis
        I love the way your mind works. 🙂 However you do know you can just say “This didn’t work for me at all” and no one would think that you were being mean, don’t you fence sitter? lol.
        You always try to comment (at least once a week which is all I ask) Thank you Tis for also have a great sense of humour.

        • 

          It’s not that I’m worried people will think I’m mean, Wave. I kind of am, sometimes. *hee* It’s more that I don’t want to be perceived as RUDE. 😛 Mean is fine as long as it’s done politely. *snerk*

          Chances are that my commenting is likely to be rather sporadic. When I’ve deadlines I’m behind on, I might not even visit the site for days at a time. When I’ve just finished a project, I get crazy-chatty. (Guess which phase I’m in now? *heeheehee*)

          As for sense of humour, I figure I might as well. Otherwise, I’m not just mean (but not rude), but also no fun! 😛

          ~Tis

• 

  Hello… ooh boy, what an interesting topic! (sort of like interesting times?)

  I’ve been visiting regularly since the past summer (drifted in from lurking at Speak Its Name) I’ve commented once or twice on reviews, and I want to say I really do appreciate all work put into this site.

  I’m more prone to read the reviews then comment on them for the following reasons:

  1) , I rarely read contemporary m/m and most fantasy (I’m stuck in the Victorian era and I refuse to take my dainty boots somewhere else), and I feel pretty uncomfortable discussing things I haven’t read (or won’t read) even if the reviewer has done a marvelous job of convincing me to possibly take a chance on this book.

  2) I tend to want to read on-line at some pretty odd hours due to work and I largely just want passive entertainment. The reviews are damn good, doesn’t matter what the rating is, but my brain is just off.

  I had no idea that people were craving feedback though. So I’m going to take a chance and try some comments in future. Just please don’t expect too much critical thinking from someone who typically haunts the site at 4 in the AM. *zzzzz*

  • 

    Cally, thanks so much for commenting. These are both very understandable reasons for being less inclined to comment. It’s been fascinating to get a sense of what’s happening on the “other side of the review,” meaning the reading side rather than the writing / posting side.

    Just please don’t expect too much critical thinking from someone who typically haunts the site at 4 in the AM. *zzzzz*

    Ha, ha! No problem. 🙂

• 

  Ok, I admit it. I’m a lurker. I’ve just never felt comfortable or aware of the ‘rules’ of commenting on the reviews, not knowing if they’d be welcome or not.

  I wasted a lot of money on some really awful books before I found you. Now…this is the first place I go to when I’m deciding to purchase a book or not.

  I can’t recall how I even discovered this website but I do want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you who devote a lot of time to reading and reviewing books.

  I’ll try to do better going forward. :)~

  • 

    Thank you for the comment, Laura! This is good to know,

    I’ve just never felt comfortable or aware of the ‘rules’ of commenting on the reviews, not knowing if they’d be welcome or not.

    I’m picking this up from other comments here as well. Maybe we should put an encouraging notice in the sidebar. Otherwise, it’s like we’re expecting you all to read our minds about wanting comments.

    You said, I wasted a lot of money on some really awful books before I found you. Now…this is the first place I go to when I’m deciding to purchase a book or not.

    Excellent! Very glad we could help. 🙂

• 

  Hi. My name is Finn and I’m a lurker. I come here often and never comment because it never occured to me to do so. If I feel I have something to contribute, I will speak up, but otherwise prefer to remain silent – does sound kind of rude, now that I think about it…perhaps I should participate more. If you were ever to review a book of mine, I’d certainly comment if I knew, even if the reviewer didn’t care for it. I would still be thankful that someone took the time to read it and write up a review (and hopefully I could learn something from it as well).
  I really enjoyed “do penises twitch?” (informative and hilarious, thanks!)

  • 

    I really enjoyed “do penises twitch?” (informative and hilarious, thanks!)

    That’s a popular one, no question.

  • 

    Hi Finn
    Thanks for commenting and I appreciate that you, like many other lurkers, feel that you don’t have anything to contribute. I used to feel that way until I started my blog and I’m shocked every day that people actually listen to what I have to say. Very scary. 🙂

    I don’t believe that we have ever reviewed any of your books Finn. If you write M/M (with no on-page sex with females) why don’t you send me an email with a blurb?

    I’m so glad you liked my post about whether penises twitch. BTW the jury is still out on that one. lol

  • 

    Hi Finn,

    I just wanted to tell you that de-lurking on this site can be beneficial to new authors.

    After de-lurking here myself I went over to Ethan Day’s Yahoo-group do some lurking there. 😉

    I noticed your name and thought: “Hey, a fellow de-lurker!!! I remember her name.”
    So I came back and clicked through to your site.
    I read the excerpt for your book and now know what a ‘Therianthrope’ is.

    Samhain went live today (finally), and they offer the new-release discount on pre-orders as well.

    So I bought your book. How cool is that!

• 

  My name is Larissa and I’m a spammer. Aparently I’m in the wrong confession booth 😛

  Nah. Lurking. I lurked for a bit, but that was mostly due to a busy work schedule here I didn’t have internet and read the posts on my phone. If there is one thing I don’t like it’s typing on my phone 😛

  Sometimes it’s because I haven’t read a book and I’m not interested it, but I’ve been known to disagree with a review. You can disagree so long as you do it politely 😉

  • 

    My name is Larissa and I’m a spammer. Aparently I’m in the wrong confession booth

    Ha, ha! Or the wrong 12-step support group. 😀

    Very good point, Larissa, on the disagreement issue. Just about anything goes as long as the participants are polite. It’s a very laid back and safe environment here.

• 

  I lurk partially because it’s my nature, and partially because I’m dyslexic. Kind of a, which came first, situation. Most of my posts take at least 1/2 an hour to write, and I will often still find errors in it after I post it. That’s just frustrating, given that I’ve usually gone through it 3 or 4 times before I post it. By that time, I’m not convinced it’s still worth the effort, so I usually talk myself out of it before I finish. *shrugs*

  I do try to post occasionally, even on the reviews, so I’m not being completely anti-social. Much as I’d like to say I’ll improve, I know myself too well.

  I do appreciate what you folks do.

  • 

    I do appreciate what you folks do.

    Thanks, Lynn G. Feedback like that is always good. It’s been wonderful to have people comment on this particular post even if they know they can’t do it that often. I really had no idea until reading all this feedback that we were this much appreciated. 🙂

• 

  I tend to not have very many original things to add/say….so I usually do what others seem to do and nod my head, or roll my eyes, or just add a book/author to my ever increasing lists.

  However, having said that, I have always appreciated the welcome I have felt since the first time I nervously posted on the site. I just need to say that is because of you, Wave, and the many amazing authors/reviewers and contributors…and though I still get nervous, I try to post as often as I can, because while what I have to say may not contribute much to the site, no one has ever made me feel as if my voice doesn’t matter. It’s one of the things that brings me back. Well, that and the fact that there really is no other review site that provides so many honest reviews, interesting discussions and just plain FUN!

  • 

    Elaine
    Thank you. I know that you appreciate us because you comment all the time.

    Being nervous is understandable the first time you post a comment but you’re an old hand at this. 🙂 You also would not believe how many great ideas I get for blog posts just from the readers’ comments, so please continue to comment. I like that you can sense the fun we have with each other and the topics that are posted. Our reviews are always honest, even if the book is by our favourite author.

    Just keep on doing what you’re doing because you’re doing great. 🙂

• 

  One of the reasons I don’t comment often is because I read this site via an RSS feed on Live Journal, and I’m usually late to the party. For example, by the time I got to this entry, there were 135 comments! I felt it was pointless to add anything, but felt guilty for lurking. ;D

  I’ll try harder in future.

  • 

    Gaycrow
    How are you? I understand that sometimes good intentions are screwed by technology, so no worries. I appreciate whatever you can do, especially with the time difference. 🙂

• 

  Another lurker here 🙂 (I have to say that the comment about die hard lurkers from last year fits me perfectly)
  In my case there are several reasons for not commenting. (Most have already been mentioned here but I’ll say it anyway. Since I’m commenting and all 😉 )
  For starters many times by the time I see a post I’d comment on (like now for example) there are a lot of comments already posted and I either don’t have the time to read all the comments so I don’t post because I don’t know what all has already been said, or I do read all the comments and pretty much all I had to say has already been said, so again I don’t comment.
  Also, commenting on reviews is kinda hard because if I haven’t read the book how can I say anything about it (except comments about the cover, of the genre, but to me that just feels redundant I guess). And the few times I’ve read the book that’s being reviewed (and it is few because I usually wait for a review to come out before I decide on buying), if I agree with the review it feels weird to just say that I agree. But if I don’t agree it feels confrontational to say so. Also if I try to elaborate on why I agree/disagree the comment turns into a mini review or rant and I end up deleting it instead of posting it.
  Plus I’m kinda shy so even if this is anonymous (more or less) I still don’t feel comfortable enough commenting. Especially when I read the comments and see that most of the people commenting do so often and interact with each other, so I tend to feel like I’m kind of intruding and so I shy away from posting a comment.
  Oh, and as far as those friday guys go a) I can’t decide which one I want b) none of them are to my liking (yes this does happen on occasion) *ducks to avoid rotten tomatoes thrown my way* c) someone’s already called dibs on the guy of my choice so what’s there to say.
  Now I’m tempted to delete this whole thing, but I’ll be brave and hit the submit comment button instead.

  • 

    Thank you so much, Eva, for this comment. You got me thinking about something important here. You mentioned,

    ” In my case there are several reasons for not commenting. (Most have already been mentioned here but I’ll say it anyway. Since I’m commenting and all”

    This is exactly what we want – for visitors to voice their opinion, whether they are the first one to say something, or the 29th one to agree or disagree.

    The repetition is good because that’s how we track trends. If 50 people out of this thread are saying the same thing about what they want us to do or not do here on the site, that is incredibly valuable information.

    Therefore, you don’t have to read all the comments and decide if your position has been stated yet. Just go ahead and add your opinion. It’s like voting in an election – it all adds up to information that leads to change that, I hope, reflects what the people want.

    You said, Plus I’m kinda shy so even if this is anonymous (more or less) I still don’t feel comfortable enough commenting. Especially when I read the comments and see that most of the people commenting do so often and interact with each other, so I tend to feel like I’m kind of intruding and so I shy away from posting a comment.

    I understand. This can be an inhibiting feeling. If you ever want to try, I think you’ll find people very welcoming here.

    The Friday guys, ha, ha! People seem to call dibs very fast, don’t they? 😉 I think some people must live several time zones ahead of me. It gives them such an advantage! Thanks again for commenting, Eva! 🙂

• 

  I admit it. I’m a lurker. My problem has more to do with where and how I read my blogposts. I tend to read in my GReader on my iPhone. My iPhone is so damn slow that it’s a pain in the butt to click through to comment. It’s not just here, but all the other blogs I follow that I hardly post comments anymore.

  Add to that, the fact that I also read my GReader at work, and suffice to say, this blog is NSFW. So no clickthru from work.

  Also add in that with 4 people and 3 computers at home, my blog commenting often takes a backseat to term papers, research projects, and my 16 year old’s obsession with all things Facebook.

  Which takes me back to my POS iPhone. I’m hopeful that when I switch in April it will be easier to click through to comment, but in the meantime, know that I’ve spent an awful lot of dollars on books from reading your reviews., and appreciate all the time and effort I know it takes to put together coherent, substantive reviews. So thanks!

  • 

    in the meantime, know that I’ve spent an awful lot of dollars on books from reading your reviews., and appreciate all the time and effort I know it takes to put together coherent, substantive reviews. So thanks!

    You’re very welcome, Lori, and thanks for telling us. Good luck with that iPhone situation, and thanks for a fascinating look at it. I don’t tend to do much online interaction except on a full-scale computer, so I had no idea what trying it with a phone would be like. 🙂

• 

  I’m in two minds about this post.
  I can understand you all would like more comments to your posts, but I don’t really like the idea of being pushed into commenting.
  I’m new to the site, I can’t even remember when I started reading or posting, could have been November, could have been early December. Despite being new, I wish I’d have found this blog a long time ago, and the same goes for the wonderful authors and their books that I’ve been slowly collecting since July (when I bought my second hand Sony PRS-550).

  I’m still feeling my way around the site, and I have commented on some posts, and no, not the reviews. Like many before me, I had no idea about the email notices. I just took them as reading guides and never realised reviews were meant to be as interactive as the discussion posts. But, I do read most of the reviews (apart from the ones that just don’t grab me) and sometimes I buy a book because of them.

  Giving my opinion is the hard part. I tend to forget a lot of what I read. I remember the main characters and the basic plot, but by the time I have the time to browse at leisure, I can’t remember what it was that grabbed me or made the book a mediocre reading experience. Hell, I’ve managed a couple of times to start books that I only halfway remembered reading before. And yes, there are books that I will always remember, but even then I still discover new things during a second read.
  That means that I don’t think I have anything of value to say besides like or don’t like. And the last thing I want is reading a book with pen and paper beside it (I HATED Themes in Lit!)

  I didn’t come here for the Friday boys (though they’re a nice bonus), but to find a community of like minded people who love reading m/m 🙂
  I probably will start to comment more once I feel more settled here. That said, I can’t promise to start commenting on reviews, but, please, I hope you know that I am reading them and I find them very helpful in building my e-library 🙂

  • 

    Hi Cayendi

    I can understand you all would like more comments to your posts, but I don’t really like the idea of being pushed into commenting.

    The last thing I wanted to do was give the impression that people were being pushed into commenting, and I’m sorry if you felt that way. I think I said that sometimes we feel that there’s no one “out there” and it would be nice if readers would occasionally leave a comment on a review. No one should feel obligated to do so since this site is all about fun, outside of the reviews and even they can be fun at times. 🙂

    If commenting makes you uncomfortable please don’t do so because again, the last we want is to make you feel that way.

    I think I was talking mainly to those bloggers who have been accessing this site for over a year or even longer who are still lurkers. Some of the guest reviewers used to be lurkers and the admitted biggest lurker is Christian, our Webmaster, so you have lots of company.

    The impotant thing is that you are enjoying the posts and the reviews, and if you feel the urge at some point in the future to join in the discussions then that would be your prerogative. One of the benefits of commenting is that we get to know you and vice versa which I think is a good thing. 🙂

    Thanks for commenting Cayendi.

• 

  Hello, Cayendi, and thanks for the comment. What you said here, I can definitely identify with,

  I don’t really like the idea of being pushed into commenting.

  I tend to balk as well at nagging. I even balk at reading challenges after I’ve voluntarily signed up for them. 🙂 On the other hand, with this,

  I hope you know that I am reading them and I find them very helpful in building my e-library

  There’s no way we could have known this had you not just told us. It’s good to know.

  You mention, “And the last thing I want is reading a book with pen and paper beside it (I HATED Themes in Lit!)”

  Yes, me, too! I even start getting twitchy when people use the word “trope” when discussing books. If you ever do feel like commenting, it’s more than okay to put it in normal terms like, “I don’t believe this would happen in real life.”

  Thanks again for the comment! 🙂

• 

  Now see I read bloggers and figure you’re talking to others and not me. Being sorta new to this on line world, with my computer experts in college, it has been a slow learning process but I’m getting there. I know for me lurking has been a safety net.

  I’m an avid reader and often feel that what I want to say doesn’t come out right or your reviews have captured my feelings and I have nothing much to add without repeating your work. I have commented a few times, mostly on books I’ve already read, and each time gets easier in part because all of you are so wonderful. I try to read each review, even some I never thought I’d like, but usually it is days after and figured no one would see my comment as you’ve moved on. Now that I know you see them I’ll speak up more often. I’ve even started a Wave list so I don’t forget which ones I want to read. Reviews with spoilers are the only ones I don’t read right away. I come back to these after reading them if I remember. The only time I’ve had a comment not post was when I won a free book and I’m still not sure what I did wrong.

  Thank you for the well thought out reviews, fun and entertainment that you have provided to me. I promise to work on my shyness and comment even if it is a quick note days later.

  • 

    Teresa

    Now see I read bloggers and figure you’re talking to others and not me.

    We’re all bloggers whether or not we have a website. 🙂 When I started my first blog I hadn’t a clue what I was doing. My friend Kimberly showed me the ropes and helped me whenever I was in trouble. Now Christian our Webmaster keeps me out of trouble.

    I have commented a few times, mostly on books I’ve already read, and each time gets easier in part because all of you are so wonderful. I try to read each review, even some I never thought I’d like, but usually it is days after and figured no one would see my comment as you’ve moved on. Now that I know you see them I’ll speak up more often.

    Now that you have started commenting it gets easier. You only need to comment on those reviews where you have something to say, you have either read the book and either like or don’t like the review, or are thinking of getting it. And yes, we do see your comments regardless of when they are posted. I answer comments on posts from 2 years ago.

    I promise to work on my shyness and comment even if it is a quick note days later.

    One step at a time. 🙂

• 

  I’m not a lurker.

  It sounds ungrateful to say it, but almost the only reviews I read are my own and sometimes my friends’.

  Unless a book just jumps out at me (Mongrel was the last I think), I don’t read the review. I’m finicky about my reading these days because my time is limited. And unless the cover art, title, genre and review stars ALL grab me, I’m skipping to the information/discussion posts.

  • 

    Hi Angel
    I guess review sites would be out of business if all readers/bloggers were like you. 🙂 There are probably other authors who only check out their own reviews so that’s good to know.

    Thanks for commenting

    • 

      What are you doing with the reviews? Do they serve a useful purpose in your writings?
      I really like seeing the authors response to either their own reviews or others. I imagine it takes some kahunas to keep it real and unbiased.

      • 

        Hi Hannah

        What are you doing with the reviews? Do they serve a useful purpose in your writings?

        I’m sorry I didn’t understand the questions. I’m not a writer and although a few of the reviewers are writers I can’t see reviews that they write serving a useful purpose to them since they write fiction. For the rest of us non writers, we love to read, and reviewing seems like a natutral outlet of our love of reading.

        we have to keep it real regardless how much we love a particular author’s writing or we would soon lose credibility.

        • 

          Sorry Wave,
          I was replying to Angelia. I tried editing my post to put her name in, but my computer was moving toooo slow.

      • 

        I read them and see where I’ve fouled THIS book up. And then I try to mangle the next one in a new and exciting way.

        I almost never respond to a review of my work. It’s very bad form. All too often authors respond badly and wank ensues.

        There are a great many authors who think it’s inappropriate to even thank the reviewer. I am not sure. It feels like the polite thing to do, but I’m never sure if it looks bad.

• 

  How do you get a profile picture to show up on this way?? even if I sign on as follower it doesn’t show..course its probably something easy ?? these kind of questions make me feel old.. but then..I am. ha ~no really anyway.. any ideas for the technically challenged ? thx

  • 

    Duhaunt
    To get a picture in your icon go to http://www.gravatar.com and follow the easy peasy instructions. 🙂

    • 

      thanks- just wanted to let you know if I got this to work 🙂

• 

  1) I’ve only commented on the reviews once or twice – mostly because I viewed them more as the traditional, informative review and not interactive – but also because I haven’t read the book yet.

  The next ones apply to all posts, not just reviews.

  2) I don’t want to seem stalkerish by being one of same few people commenting over and over again.

  3) I’m a writer and don’t want to post with typos. (And I do make them.) What kind of writer makes typos?

  4) As a writer I don’t want to appear to be abusing the site to promote myself.

  BTW I’ve been visiting everyday for months now and it’s a fabulous site. Thank you for some wonderful finds.

  • 

    I can SO relate to your point 3. Replace “writer” with “translator” and I could have written that sentence :-). Although my real problem is not so much typos (having English as second language helps as you learn the words with correct spelling rather than by ear – if that makes any sense at all) as missing words. I can read what I’ve written several times in this edit mode and then in preview mode and I still miss the missing words but the second the post is “live”, I see them :-(.

    • 

      I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels like this. I miss whole words too. My brain just fills them in – until after I’ve hit the submit button.

• 

  My minimal posting is a whole selection of reasons, including I don’t always have time to do more than skim reviews (sorry!) or comment, I have, up until this point, considered it more informational than interactive, but I suppose the top one is that when posting something, I normally type it out, delete it, retype it, delete it and then end up not posting because I become so frustrated with it. It’s stupid, I know, but I’m very cautious about what I say on the internet (perhaps a bit too cautious), and I then become overly aware of it all. (Now, hitting submit before I can reconsider..)

  • 

    Alex
    I perfectly understand that you don’t read all the reviews. I’ll tell you a secret – sometimes I don’t get to some of the reviews until weeks later and smack myself for having missed a book that I should have put on my TBR a long time ago. 🙂

    We don’t expect perfect comments. Just take a look at what we say and you’ll understand what I mean. Sometimes when I look at old comments I think – Did I really say that? I’m so glad that you pressed “submit comment.”

    Now that you have posted one comment I hope you will be back – I’ll look for you. 🙂

• 

  Well, I haven’t read all the comments. *just lurking as usual* With all of the authors and reviewers here, tripping and stumbling over myself is not how I like to present myself. I’m a gal of simple, plain, and, most of all, truthful words. What if I comment and sound stupid? Then someone gets snippy. There are many times I would like to comment, but I don’t know much about the subject. Better to keep quiet, than to open mouth and insert foot.

  But once I do get started………

  • 

    Hi Cynthia
    Commenting is not like writing an exam. lol. We’re very forgiving on this site and no wank ensues from an error or badly worded comment. I have only twice had to request that someone not comment here any more and that was for gross rudeness, which is a crime I’m sure you will never commit. All you need to do is exactly what you just did. Write something and press “submit comment.” Easy peasy. Thank you for coming by and supporting the site.

• 

  Hi Wave,

  as usual, I read this entry a few days after it was posted, which is probably reason #1 why I hardly ever comment (I am afraid I can add the number of comments I have left on this site on one hand.) And when I write a comment I hardly ever submit it because I read over it and see that I am not really adding anything new.

  I also don’t read the reviews of books I am going to one day read when they are posted. If I am curious about the review after I finish the book, I go back and read it. But by then a lot of time has usually passed. Unless the author is an auto-read, and then I can usually only say that I loved it. This is why I love the fact that you include ratings in your reviews and that I know from past experience that I usually agree mostly with the reviewers. Question, do your contributors (you can probably only answer that for yourself) read and respond to comments on old entries?

  I am also guilty of not wanting to spend too much time gabbing on the internet (I am one of those depraved souls who does not do online social networking). I do read all the comments on interesting posts, but mostly I visit this site and others purely for information-gathering. I don’t often feel the need to share my opinion. It is not in my nature (I am quite the introvert.)

  That said, though, I love your site. The discussions can get heated, but I have not come across any really disrespectful commenting, yet. I love that you and your crew review so many different sub-genres. Even though I am not an author and have no aspirations in that direction I thought many entries in your established authors giving advice to new authors series were great. The subjects you blog about are interesting, thoughtful and sometimes just plain fun (you can never have enough of tongue-in-cheek just having fun with it, why else do we read this genre, eh?) Like I said, I tend to agree with the reviews, so I know that when a book gets a good review on this site (judged by the rating), it will at least be written by somebody who can write, be a good story and if I end up liking it less than the reviewer did it won’t be because I think the book bad, but because it is just not quite my taste (which will forever be indefinable, I’m afraid.)

  Please keep up the good work, and know that I at least thoroughly adore this site,

  Patricia

  • 

    Patricia
    Thank you for taking the time to write an in- depth comment about why you don’t comment a lot on posts or reviews. I do understand that there’s only so much time in the day.

    That said, though, I love your site. The discussions can get heated, but I have not come across any really disrespectful commenting, yet. I love that you and your crew review so many different sub-genres

    One of the things I don’t allow is rudeness or disrespectful bloggers. I think I have only twice had to ask someone to leave and not come back. We all have strong opinions here as I’m sure you have figured out, but we respect the opinions of others even when they are polar opposites to ours.

    Yes, I do love to have fun and a lot of my topics reflect my attitude to life – what’s life without a bit of fun. 🙂

    Question, do your contributors (you can probably only answer that for yourself) read and respond to comments on old entries?

    We always do. Just a couple of days ago I responded to a comment on a review I did over 2 years ago. As long as the reviewer is still here you will get an answer to your comment. I think that 75% of the reviewers are still around so there’s a good chance you will get a reply.

    Even though I am not an author and have no aspirations in that direction I thought many entries in your established authors giving advice to new authors series were great.

    This series is continuing with one author, Josh Lanyon, doing a monthly column.

    I’m trying to vary the content on the site and my best ideas come from readers like yourself so if at any time you can think of something you feel would be of interest to a lot of readers please don’t hesitate to either email me or leave a comment on my weekly updates.

    Please keep up the good work, and know that I at least thoroughly adore this site,

    Thank you Patricia. 🙂

• 

  My lurking reasons are two:

  1. My visits to this site are quite sporadic (about 2 to four times per month.) This means that I’m usually “late to the party” to post a comment. Though there aren’t any rules about commenting (other than not trolling, obviously), it feels a little strange to think of posting a comment (say) today for something that posted a month ago or earlier.

  So, in this instance, it’s more me feeling awkward about saying something way past the posting date.

  2. I agree with most reviews about 50% of the time (so I’d be squeeing for every other review if I were to comment.) However, this also means that I *disagree* with every other review and I’d feel kinda weird being the one dissenting voice amid a sea of SQUEEE for XYZ book that everyone loved but me.

  Anyhoo, let me take this opportunity to thank you guys for the amazing job you’re doing over here. All in all, this is one of the first places I go to whenever I’m about to go and buy ebooks.

  • 

    Hi Luce
    Thank you for commenting and I appreciate your reasons for not posting. I hope you can visit more often but I understand the time factor since we all work and have a life.

    Re the reviews, I think it’s a compliment that you agree with the reviews 50% of the time because we all have such varied tastes. For example, a book I might love because it’s about sports, would not appeal to many readers. Similarly some genres are not as appealing to me any more (BDSM) even though I loved them in the past. So it’s all good. I think the reviewers appreciate comments on their reviews, whether or not you agree with their assessment of a book, and it’s more important to tell us WHY you think we didn’t quite hit the mark because that makes us better. We value feedback more than anything else. BTW we do get comments even if they are posted years later (unless the reviewer is no longer here), and we respond to them.

    Your appreciation of the site is what we need to carry on and do better, and we’re happy that you do check out the reviews here first because this is, after all, a review site even though we manage to have a lot of fun. 🙂

    • 

      Hee, I went ahead and left two comments: one positive (for “Summer Song”) and one negative (for “Black Gold”). Coincidentally, both of those books were reviewed by Lynn (whose tastes are quite similar to mine when it comes to what I do and don’t like.)

      You might see me popping here and there from now on. 😀

      • 

        Luce
        Thank you for coming out of lurkdom and giving us your opinions about the reviews. 🙂 We need readers’ feedback and I’ll look forward to seeing you “popping here and there.” lol.

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