It’s time for a fun post. I have been too serious these last few Fridays so I thought that today I would talk about something we read about in gay romances all the time:
THE PROSTATE
It stares me in the face even more than a penis (well it would if it were visible to the naked eye) 😆 whenever I read M/M books and I feel as if I’m intimately connected to the prostate. I WANT ONE!! I never knew what great fun a prostate was until gay romances became part of my reading collection decades ago although then it was rarely mentioned, except in gay porn which I never read of course, but today the prostate is everywhere and almost anyone can have one (well not really, it just seems that way). 🙂
In my constant search for knowledge, two and a half years ago I did a piece where I talked about our authors’ fascination with the prostate. I can’t count the number of times this lovely body part was mentioned in M/M books in connection with teh buttsecks, and I wondered … how much do we really know about this unimaginably erotic organ in a man’s body? Women don’t have this organ and therefore there probably was a fair amount of guessing on the part of female and those straight male M/M authors who never have anal sex with other men, about the incredible sensations that a man feels when this gland is touched during anal sex by a penis, yet it’s described in such vivid detail in books all the time. I did some research 😯 on this topic but all it yielded was that the prostate is slightly larger than a walnut (hey, I eat walnuts) and a lot of medical mumbo jumbo. So not what I was looking for. 
:doh:
My next step was a poll on the blog and I received a lot of comments from guys. Here’s my summary of the results:
The general consensus was that while stimulating the prostate does indeed play a large part in the enjoyment of anal sex between men, some guys felt it was over-emphasized, that the pleasure experienced was certainly not to the degree mentioned in M/M books, and that everyone’s response was different.
Some of the commenters described their feelings:
“What annoys me sometimes is that some books describe the whole experience pretty one dimensional. The one being fucked doesn’t necessarily have to be the one being passive and giving up control, but this (is the) way it’s described in a lot of books. He can very well be the active part(ner) and the one in charge. I for example tend to be very aggressive when I bottom”
“AMEN! Here’s to aggressive bottoms. And very often being fucked is not anyhow related to giving up control. In fact, I believe a lot of times it is precisely about maintaining control.”
“I would say that the stimulation of the prostate is only a part of the whole experience of being fucked, even though it definitely plays a major part when it comes to the orgasm. During sex I would say the feeling of being entered, feeling the other guy move inside of you and the stimulation of the prostate are equally important parts of the fucking amazing experience of being fucked. *g*”
All of the responses can be found here and here
So why am I talking about a survey that’s two and a half years old? I wanted to update it to find out whether these findings were still valid, and by a strange coincidence I received an email several weeks ago from an author (I wish I could remember who it was) to which was attached a copy of a post by Patric Michael on, of all things, the prostate. Hallelujah!! When I read the post I was literally in stitches and I knew that someday I wanted to reprint it here. When it was included as one of the stories in the Wishing on a Blue Star anthology published by Dreamspinner Press I asked Patric for permission to reprint his story, which he very kindly gave, with the admonition to treat it as incendiary. Since Patric is a guy, I consider him an expert in this area (certainly much more of an expert than the other half of the population of which I am a member i.e. females). :doh: Patric answers the question in the heading so pay close attention to his story because at the end there will be a quiz.
*** ****** *** ****** *** ****** ****
IS A PROSTATE WORTH FINDING? by Patric Michael
Another post from Patric to Ethan Day‘s Yahoo Group – Part I
First off, thank you all for your participation. I wish to hell I had the steam to thank you individually, or even be sure I got all the names without forgetting anyone, but my head is deluged with chemicals, which is a piss poor excuse, but a fact nevertheless. 🙂
I promise I will answer when I can with what I can, but for now a general shout of gratitude will have to serve.
For those who asked, and because I am right pleased with them, here are my copies of the Prostate and Sounding Stories. Funny how they seem to have taken on such mythic proportions. 🙂
Ok….
I just got back from getting some tests done. I look like I was mugged by a pincushion, so I‘m in a weird mood. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
The question was: Is all the hoopla about the prostate gland worth the hoopla of finding it, and the short answer was yes. Here‘s the long answer: Oh HELL yes!! Here‘s why:
To fully understand, you have to have a basic idea of what it FEELS like for a guy to come. Ask your guy friends that question and you‘ll get as many different answers as stars. I mention this so when I elucidate what *I* get, you WONT take it as gospel fact and I won’t see it in print in a dozen different books, written as though it were fact. In other words, every body is different.
So Sherman…. Set the WayBack Machine to 1969 and we‘ll visit a little boy earnestly tossing paratroopers into the air, over and over again. He‘ll experiment with overhand and underhand throws, all the while teaching his arm to throw straighter and straighter, until he reaches the pinnacle of his skill. At that apex, he can toss his tiny plastic paratroopers very nearly vertically. Now these little toys are nothing more than a chunk of plastic molded to vaguely resemble a human male, with a ring sticking out of his back. Attached to this ring by six flimsy threads is a chunk of plastic about the size of a handkerchief. The idea is to throw them into the air and the plastic unfolds, becoming a little parachute. Pretty simple, and loads of fun when you‘re a little kid.
But, what you are interested in is the times when the chute doesn‘t open. See the boy toss the toy. See how it travels at speed which decreases as gravity asserts itself? At the very nadir of its possible upward travel, just before gravity demands its return, the little plastic paratrooper seems to hover in the air for the briefest fraction of a second, right?
That‘s the part that matters.
Now, watch as he throws again and this time, the chute does open. Our little plastic hero floats safely to the ground.
To recap: There is a point when the toy is thrown where its acceleration is overcome by gravity and it seems to hang in the air. The other point is when the chute opens, and the toy floats back down.
Got that? Good, because now it‘s time to return to the present, where the boy is all grown up, and he has a real life paratrooper, naked and sweaty, and with a hard-on the size of Florida grunting behind him. (Hey, deal. I write fiction, remember?)
We‘ll call our grown up boy Tom, and our paratrooper Jones, because its just too creepy to keep using man and boy in sexually explicit sentences. One or the other, but not both.
So here we are, in bed with Tom and Jones, and Jones is pumping his hips like some mindless rutting animal. At this point he pretty much is mindless, because virtually all of his sexual gratification is coming from overstimulation of about 20,000 nerve endings in the uncut portion of his foreskin, (the lucky bastard) plus however many thousand more along the rest of his rather massive dick, augmented by sights and smells and the input (and output in the form of hormones) from that most erotic organ of all, his brain.
(For the sake of Tom‘s ego, we‘ll also mention that Tom is as tight as Tupperware down there, and he knows full well how to use what he‘s got.)
Jones is just on the verge of exploding. He is very much like that little toy being thrown into the air. Everything is rushing to that point when he, and the toy, are on the verge of something great. For the toy, it is a triumphant return to earth after an exhilarating run for the sun, and for Jones, he‘s about to come a gusher.
In case you missed that overly literary allusion, I‘ll recap. Jones’s orgasm builds, higher and higher, until his body‘s version of gravity brings him back down. His explosion (when he actually comes) is the apex of that arc, and lasts about as long as the little toy hung in the air, then he floats back down to earth. Get it? Lots of build up, big finish, and nothing for 15 to 60 minutes or more, depending on how old Jones is.
Believe it or not, that‘s the key to why the prostate matters.
Now let’s take a peek at Tom, and more importantly, the sheet under him. He‘s got this puddle going, far more than just precum, because Jones is an attentive paratrooper and he knows just the angle to set himself so that all of his mindless stroking smacks bang into, and over, Tom‘s prostate, over and over again.
In a word, Tom is being milked like Aunt Sadie‘s Guernsey cow, and he‘s loving it.
A properly functioning prostate adds a lot of volume to the fluid portion of his come, and the pleasurable sensation Jones felt was all that fluid moving though all the little tubes and stuff, explosively and all at once.
Tom on the other hand, (or under the other hand as the case may be) is getting much the same sensations, but for a much LONGER period of time, because Jones‘s Florida sized dick is squeezing a little juice out of Tom‘s prostate every time it hits Tom‘s gland. Additionally, since Tom is pretty much bypassing the the usual explosion of jizz and getting milked instead, his brain DOESN‘T send the signal to shut down that Jones‘s brain sent to the rest of Jones‘s body, and dear Tommy can keep going, and going, and going. And in fact he does, because like I said, he knows how to use what he‘s got. When he hears Jones‘s grunts catch in his throat, a few quick strokes of his dick and Tom triggers the same explosion so they come together. (It‘s the neighborly thing to do, don’tcha know.)
But, unlike Jones who had one wave of intense pleasure, Tom has had several, though each was slightly less intense, PLUS he got the usual ultra intense one by jerking himself off. Tom got the best half of that deal, I think. 🙂
In short (and why I didn‘t start short I haven‘t a clue) hitting Tom‘s prostate pushes a wee bit of the seminal fluid through the tubes which in turn triggers the pleasurable sensation we call an orgasm, and as long as the pipes are flowing, the pleasure continues.
Now, for the sake of argument, some basic facts to lend verisimilitude to stories (and to keep guys like me from snorting when they are reading them when the author gets it wrong.)
Using the butthole as a reference, the prostate is toward the FRONT of the body, not the back. If Tom is flat on his back and Jones is fingering him, Jones‘s palm is UP and the pad of Jones‘s finger is
hitting it. The gland is between two and three inches in from the opening, which is just around the length of a finger, so the mechanics work great. It‘s a lump about the size of a walnut, but you‘ll only feel one side of it. To me I always envision a teeny tiny hill in an otherwise flat field. (I‘m very visual)
Jones and his massive dick can hit it if Jones is thoughtful enough to pay attention to his angle. If Tom is flat on his stomach, then Jones positions himself slightly higher so the fulcrum of Toms hole forces the head of Jones‘s dick DOWN, and hits the prostate. If Tom is on his back with his feet in the air (or wrapped around Jone‘s waist, then Jones will lift Tom‘s butt a bit higher so the natural angle of Jone‘s dick points upward, again hitting the prostate.
If Tom is an aggressive little bottom and is riding Jones, then he can skide himself forward or back until that beast of a dick hits where he wants. The drawback of course is that the beast of a dick is actually TOO big, so Tom has to raise himself high enough that the head of Jones‘s dick hits in the right place.
Size queens will tell you that size does matter, and they would be correct for the wrong reasons. Anything larger than the average dick takes extra effort to get that head to press against the prostate. An average sized dick will hit it every single time if the angle of entry is good.
(The size queens are more interested in STRETCHING anyway, which is the subject of a completely different essay altogether.) 🙂
*** ***** ***
So boys and girls, you have heard from our expert about how the prostate really works. This is Patric’s version because, as he stressed, every man is unique.
I hope that those M/M writers who don’t have a prostate will pay close attention to Patric’s explanation about the location of the prostate, and also that each man’s response to this stimulation is different. Maybe one size doesn’t fit all.
This is a really funny story but there’s a lesson here as well. :2thumbs:
Comments?
Can I have one, please?
Rachel
You and me both. This is so unfair. I would give up my non-existent G-spot for a prostate. 😀 😎
I think we must be twins 😀
Patric’s explanation is delicious :blush: and for me the final conclusion is (unfortunately only in theory): the prostate is worth finding.
I’m waiting for the guys here to “harden”, or not, my opinion.
Can I grow one?
Hi Alina
Since I did the last survey I’ve been wishing for a prostate. Poor Christian has listened to my wailing and gnashing of teeth because for years I felt so deprived at not having one. 😀 If the supreme being (God or whoever) were a woman we would all have prostates as well as the guys 😯
No, you can’t grow one like cucumbers or lettuce. 🙂
I want one too. 🙂 Hell, you can order anything online… wouldn’t that be fab?!
A couple of years ago my dad had to have his prostate removed due to cancer. So, I learnt that other than making a guy feel fab (I want one), it has a ton of other fun little functions.
Hi Luci
So now we should order one online? I can just see the face of the person fulfilling the orders – One prostate to go please 😯
I’m really sorry about your Dad and hope that he’s doing better. 🙁
I know that the prostate has a lot of other functions but that does not negate THIS one. I WANT ONE!!! :grumble:
hello!
I find this “lesson” very interesting and funny! Now, I feel frustrated not to have a toy like this one. But, with my luck, having a non existent G-point too, I guess that if I had a prostate, I would certainly belong to the group of men who don’t feel anything from it!!! Too bad…
Hi Mona
I think that every guy feels SOMETHING – it’s the degree of intensity that would differ. We were short changed. No doubt about that. 🙁
Prostrate envy. 🙂
I know and I agree. 😀
I wish I had one just for a day so I could try it. That and seeing if receiving a blow job truly is all that and a bag of chips. 🙂
I read a book once and the guy stimulated his partner’s prostate with his tongue. I’m not sure he was a giraffe or what, but I had a doctor confirm that it just ain’t gonna happen. Stick your tongue out and put your pointer finger next to it. I’m thinking your tongue is not that long unless you are Gene Simmons.
Thanks for the confirmation that it’s not complete myth. 😉
Hi Tam
Isn’t research great? Also, when you get information like this from the right source it’s so much more reliable.
Yeh, I’ve read books like the one you mention. I wish authors would spend a little less time in dreamland and more on research. However everyone tells me that it’s all fantasy so I shouldn’t expect more than what I get.
The next project is Buda’s. 😀
Don’t think I missed that bus, dear Wave. lol
Have I mentioned lately I am thankful every day for that Y chromosome? Prostates and penises rock.
Oh, and Tam? A good blow job is all that and a bag of chips. All chips, no air. Yeah, buddy!!
Buda
When I started this post I was feeling pretty good but now I really want a penis, balls and a prostate. I wonder how much a sex change operation would cost? But then I would have hair on my face and chest and a deep voice. Maybe not the right direction. I’ll just borrow your prostate to complete my research Buda. I promise to return it when I’m done 😯
While you’re at it, why not borrow my skin for a new outfit? 😮
I’ve reserved next Friday for your post. I can’t wait. Do you realize you promised to do this before Christmas? 🙂
Well…it’s before Christmas, isn’t it? :p
I want one too!
I’m first in line. 😀
Ha Ha Ha Ha Suckas 🙂
Prostates are wonderful, but I always felt like they were over-dramatized in M/M. I know that all guys are different, but every time I read about someone’s being hit or rubbed, or tapped (???) during sex they guys seem to come immediately like Old Faithful… Well, that’s not my experience. I’d say it is much more like Patric has said, where, in a culmination of all the different variables put together, it can make a good thing GREAT 🙂
It certainly feels nice. But it isn’t so great I would miss the Second Coming, or anything. Oh you know what I mean!
Thanks for the fun post Wave 🙂 Its been a long and difficult week and it was a nice thing to start my day with, laughing.
Stop gloating Cole. It’s enough that I have to take this stuff from Tj, Buda and Ethan. You have always been nice. 😀
😀 I have to ask Ethan or Buda (because they have been so mean lately) if it’s the same with a partner or without. :hysterics:
You got it in one Cole. That’s the purpose of this post. Every guy’s orgasm seems to be the same in M/M – their prostate is touched and immediately there is an explosion. As I discovered in my first post over 2 years ago, that sure isn’t true.
I thought we all deserved a day when we could blow out this rotten week. Where is SPRING???
Yo, Cole! Swing dicks unite! Rah Rah! 🙂
It was exactly as you said, “…come like Old Faithful…,” that reading it yet *again* prompted me to write the original post. I’ll be first in line to get milked, sure, but no one has ever “tapped” (eyeroll) the gland and made me come.
I don’t doubt it’s true for someone, but gods and drippy dicks, it’s not true for everyone like the books keep saying. 🙂
Here’s to individuality, and I hope next week is better for ya!
Patric
So now you’re having a party just with Cole? What about me? I thought I was your friend? 😯
Exactly what I’ve been saying all along. If het guys can vary their sex why would M/M authors assume that gay men would just keep doing the same old, same old. 😕
You are always my friend, Wave! Never fear.
It’s just that in this funny little genre where so many people are writing about what is essentially my life and experiences, (figuratively speaking, of course) who don’t actually have the, um, “Genuine GM parts,” I can’t help but feel a kind of kinship with others of our comparatively small minority. E.G. Actual male personages, complete with said parts. 😉
A kinship that is somehow doubled with Cole because damn his fast fingers, he always manages to snatch up the Friday Guys *I* would have chosen if I were quick enough. It’s a specious relationship, granted, but I can’t help it. He makes me feel good without ever trying, just as you do, dear heart.
And I’ll hasten to point out that I never call HIM ‘dear heart’, do I? Laugh!!
Many, many hugs, and much love to you Wave. You are, as I have said often, the best of reviewers; fair, honest, and objective even when you don’t care for the story, and all of that is incidental to the fact that you are also the best of people, too. With your generosity, curiosity, and equanimity, you’ve given folks like me, Cole, Jay, Christian, and all the wonderful, open-minded ladies here a place to hang out, safely and with a decidedly real sense of kinship.
Who could possibly ask for anything more?
Patric
That is so sweet of you to say so Patric, but the reason I love to have you guys hang out here is that I get just as much from our joshing as you all do. At the end of the week when I feel most depressed I love to have fun with my friends who make me remember one of the reasons other than book reviews, why I started this site in the first place – to give gay men a place where they can feel free to discuss anything they wish and also to kick some ass. 🙂 The ladies who join in the party help to elevate it from sweaty t-shirts and jocks (did I say that? Bring on the jocks) to something a bit more refined. 🙂
You are a wonderful man Patric and I care about you a lot, despite the “whore thing”I mentioned earlier. 🙂
Wait. Het guys vary their sex? Methinks you’ve been reading too many shifter pamphlets again! :p
There are no het guys here or haven’t you noticed? 😆
Sweet, sweet Cole, welcome to the dark side! 😆 You’ve learned well grasshopper. And I agree with your thoughts. I LOVE my prostate, and the feelings that it can generate are pretty fantastic with the right timing (and guy of course), but it’s not the holy grail of gay sex for me. As I have said before, some hot frotting, or even a hand job done right can be damn sexy!
So, Wave – is the prostate worth finding? Hell yes! Under the right circumstances, it can be pretty mind blowing. But certainly in M/M romances I think there’s way too much focus put on this little walnut. It is not the holy grail of gay sex for all gay men.
Thank you Patric for letting Wave reprint some of your post. Very funny stuff. BTW, that is a really great line – “I’m not alone in here”. I nearly spit my drink all over my keyboard!
And men’s nipples – very overrated. IMO not the erogenous zone that many authors make them out to be.
Tj
I just want to borrow someone’s prostate for a short while to experiment and come to my own conclusions. lol.
I totally agree with you though that too much is made of this one gland by M/M authors, which was the reason for my original “research”..
Patric, I’m with TJ in offering my thanks for letting Wave reprint the essay. I love the paratrooper analogy and would never have thought of it. Now I need to find a real-life paratrooper, though without the Florida-sized cock! I mean, when you can throw it over your shoulder and burp it, it’s just too big!
TJ, one of my first boyfriends loved it when I bit hard–I mean hard–on his nipples. I was always afraid the damn things would sheer right off, but that, coupled with a hand job, would always got him off big time. They’re on the fun side for me, but not to that extent.
Another thing? If I wanted something down my throat, it sure as hell wouldn’t be your tongue. Get that damn thing back in your mouth. Suck and bite on my lips already. Jeez.
I can’t believe all the stuff Im learning today about you Buda. Now I guess you’ll be out looking for your very own paratrooper to see if his thingy, I mean his parachute, will open. 😯
lol All you had to do was ask, Wave. I’m an open book. More than slightly boring, but open nonetheless.
Can my paratrooper also be a police officer? Mmm. 🙂
Okay, I just wrote a reply here and was told it was ‘spammy’. Now the whole thing is lost and I don’t have the time or inclination to retype it all. 🙁
What’s up with that?
Okay, I just wrote a reply here and was told it was ‘spammy’. Now the whole thing is lost and I don’t have the time or inclination to retype it all. 🙁
What’s up with that?
So I typed out a reply and was informed that it was ‘spammy’ (what’s up with that?) and don’t have time to write it all again — it involved some research I did in bars when I was first starting to write M/M — so I’ll just say…
Nice post, Wave. Made me giggle.
~Tis
Oddly enough, I once did a poll (my gay friends, as well as random patrons in a local gay bar) on this very topic. *chuckles*
It’s amazing what people will tell you when you call it ‘research’ and have a clipboard. *nod nod*
Funny post, Wave, and thanks to Patric for letting you repost his section here. I haven’t actually gotten around to reading ‘Wishing on a Blue Star’ though it’s loaded on my nook. 🙂
~Tis
TC
I have this picture in my head of you with a clip board in a gay bar and the guys daring you to find their prostates. 😀
I do the “research” scam online right here. 😮
Is Wishing on a Blue Star another book you’re sitting on the fence about reading? 😯
“daring to search for their prostates”… woo, Wave, I’m going through keyboards real fast here from all the sputtering them full of coffee!
Although it might be fun having a prostate (at least for a couple of years), I wouldn’t want one once I’m getting older (waaay older than I’m now!). After all, girl parts aren’t likely to pinch off the water pipe.
:muck:
Hi Feliz
You should know better than to read some of my Friday posts with coffee in hand and a keyboard nearby. Sorry. 😮
Well it’s a great research project but you’re right about the latter years – maybe it’s all of that touching. 😮
Ah, Wave… that mental picture is actually not far from the truth. 😛
I did another ‘research project’ in both gay and straight bars involving blow jobs (oddly enough, this bit of nosiness — I mean ‘research’ — involved the prostate as well, though in a non-butt-secks way), but that’s a story for another day. 😛
As for ‘Wishing…’ Nope. Not on the fence at all. Definitely going to read it, just haven’t yet. I’m WAY behind on my reading (deadlines and such, you know?), but it’s one of the first 5 I’ll read when I have the chance. LOL
~Tis
I’ve had a lot of gay sex (woo-hoo!) and I feel that a bit too much emphasis is put on the prostate in m/m romance.
There are certainly some positions that feel better because the prostate is being hit, and it does intensify pleasure, but anal sex feels just as good when it’s not being tapped.
I guess maybe you could compare the sensation to nipple play, since both add a little extra pleasure but neither are necessary for a satisfy evening. Or morning. *checks watch* Or afternoon. 😉
Jay
Stop boasting!!!
That’s what a lot of the guys said in my last “survey” but I still want a prostate of my very own. It would be neat to have one as well as that other thing that women have. 😯
I guess you’re probably having sex as I’m writing this response to your comment you man whore, you, even though it’s with your husband. :hurrah:
If it makes you feel any better, there are plenty of times I wish I had a vagina. Er… Or at least I’ve often wished that anal sex was as convenient, since anal sex requires some preparation and timing. :blush:
That’s a first Jay. A gay man who wishes that at times he had a va jay jay. 😯
I have often wondered if anal sex is as easy as it seems in m/m books. 😕
I refuse to answer on the grounds that it could incriminate me. 😮
I guess I gave myself away by asking that question 😆
Hubby and I tried(is that to much information?)but there was absolutely no way it was happening….it freakin hurt! 😮
“… since anal sex requires some preparation and timing.”
Gods, if that ain’t the truth. The best line I ever heard on the subject of timing (and it was thankfully NOT uttered to me) was,” Um, I’m not alone in here.”
*snort*
See, next time around I want to be a guy. I would so be gay 😉
Great informative post! And funny too!
Me too. Please, please take me with you!
Hi Alina
I’m moving to Fire Island. 😎
Larissa
wouldn’t it be great if we could be gay men then we would have double the fun of straight women. 😀
That was what I was thinking!
I totally want to come back a gay man too, here’s hoping we get to decide Larissa! :yes:
Wave, great post. :hysterics: I made the mistake to read it at work and got some strange looks from my colleagues. :crazy04:
Patric’s explanation is the best I ever read or heard about the prostate. :bravo: Understandably I’m going to keep mine. :muck:
Hi C.
Didn’t I tell you that it wasn’t work safe? Something else that’s not work safe are these damn balls. Everyone is playing with them as if they’re the real thing.
Patric is great. He has some more like this and I’m going to have to persuade him to let me post a couple more. :cooler:
So no prostate loaner? That’s what you’re saying? I only wanted to try it out to see what it feels like C. :grumble:
😆 Great post :girl:
Have the boys on the tube & Randy something to say? Hope they don´t get shy :anonym: and they enlight us too about the prostate world 💡
Thank you for the double treat this Friday: the boys and this entry :bravo:
Hi Helena
I’m trying to get the guys who don’t have a partner to try out some of the toys. Of course they should purchase them on amazon so that we get a cut. 😀
Women who are partnered with a male SO do not need to feel excluded for this research. There are toys available to try out with him. (Hey, we’ve been together forever, have to have fun!)
Being the self-less person I am, I’ve done some research using the amazon search engine.
Put in “prostate massager” and search under health and Voila…. Lot’s of research implements and books to choose from! For example—-
Adam & Eve Men’s Prostate Pleaser
And if purchased through this widget a percentage goes to the site!! A Win/Win for all!
Oh and found a site that reviews P stimulators. Our male reviewers should dust off their resumes and send them in. Put their review experience to WORK!
😆
Hi Reggie
We did a post a few months ago about sex toys and a prostate stimulator was one of the toys that was discussed. However the gay boyz tell me it’s not the same thing as anal sex with a man. Somethng to do with flexibility and angles. 😀 But what do I know.
However your suggestion about reviewing prostate stimulator has a lot of merit. I wonder if Buda would be interested. 😯
You know me, Wave. You buy it, I’ll try it! :p
Great post and before anyone asks, I’m not interested in loaning mine out. 😆
It was also great reading Patric’s post because even I learned something. I knew that rubbing the prostate and orgasms are very pleasurable :sex4: but I didn’t really know why. So, this post was entertaining and informative even for someone who has what is now a very coveted “prize” on this blog. 😀
(p.s. just noticed and love the sex emoticon.)
Jeffrey
Why are you so selfish? This is for the purpose of research. It’s not as if you won’t get it back (or maybe that’s why you won’t give it up for an hour, a day, a week, a month, oh hell, just give it over) 😯 I promise to return it as soon as the study is completed.
We try to educate as well as have fun and I think that today’s post serves those two purposes, thanks to Patric who was very funny when I asked for permission to reprint his story. Of course I can’t repeat what he said because I’m a lady. 😮
We give out free gifts all the time and I’m happy that you like Christian’s sex emoticon. I just wish these balls come in blue – I would have such a great time squeezing them. 😎
“Why are you so selfish? This is for the purpose of research. It’s not as if you won’t get it back (or maybe that’s why you won’t give it up for an hour, a day, a week, a month, oh hell, just give it over) 😯 I promise to return it as soon as the study is completed. ”
I’m an academic. I know how these studies can drag on endlessly. So, thanks very much for the offer but I think I’ll pass.
p.s. how do you get those snazzy quotes in your post?
Damn. It was worth a try. I’ll email you the quotes. these are for special people only. 😎
Thank you SO MUCH for this post because I never know what to believe when I come across this in m/m books. I’ve wondered about this very thing many times and although I have a gay brother with whom I’m very close, I am soooo not having this conversation with him! :no: Another thing I’ve wondered about are nipples? I know with most women they are a sensitive area, but is it arousing to men as well? My husband says hell no and he won’t let me near his! 😀
Angelica
That’s my sole benefit of running this site (okay it’s a great perk). I can email my gay male friends and ask them questions no one else would dare ask them, because in my case it’s all for the purpose of “research.” 😀
Some guys’ nipples are sensitive but not all men. Maybe that will be my next project. You should use those old fashioned clothes pins on your husband’s nipples – I’m sure he would love the sensation when you take them off. But first, wait until he’s asleep to try that experiment. 😯
Angelica…
Back in the long ago and necessarily dim days of my abortive attempts to be fashion conscious, I saw a guy with a nipple ring.
“Damn! That looks hot!” thinks I.
Two days later, I am admiring the shiny gold hoop depending from an otherwise aching nipple in my mirror and I still think it looks hot. (But for some bizarre reason it did not make me gorgeous like the lad I saw. Shrug.)
A month later, my no-longer-aching nipple, it’s shiny gold ring, and I get picked up by a cutie and one thing leads to another, per usual. I take my shirt off and I am delighted by my new buddy’s delight at seeing the nipple ring. He *pounces* on it like a baby to the tit and starts gnashing and gnawing on the damn thing like it was water in a desert.
“Youch! Quit that,” says I, drawing back and putting my hand over the outraged nub. “It’s still kinda sore.”
“Oh,” says he, with a decidedly disappointed look on his face, and we proceed to other things best left imagined, but his hand kept wandering over to give an experimental tug, as though his wishful thinking were some sort of magic healing balm. After slapping the offending hand away, yet again, exasperation colored my voice with bold, earnest strokes.
“Why in the hell won’t you leave that thing alone?” I demand.
“Well, obviously you *want* your nipples played with, else you wouldn’t have pierced it, right?”
Oh. Shit.
“No,” says I, far more contritely. “I don’t LIKE having my nipples played with.”
“Well,” says he, with a thoughtful expression on his face. “That was pretty stupid then, wasn’t it.” It wasn’t a question.
Stupid is right, because ever since, anytime I took my shirt off in certain company, I spent half my time batting away the rubbers, the suckers, the lick, nip, and nibblers, and gods help me, the worst of all, *pinchers* from my poor, innocent left nipple. That is one of the few things I absolutely detest; having anyone tweaking my nipples.
And for what it’s worth, I have only ever had one (1) guy respond to nipple play like all the books insist is truth, and HE had a thing for OTHER erotica best left to the imagination. *shudder*
Obviously, it works for some guys and doesn’t for others. Like everything else, individuality is key. 🙂
Well that answers that! 😆 I realize individuality is key, but I wondered if there was some overall consensus when it comes to nipples and guys. The way the books read, they make me want to play with some man nipples! Obviously I would have to stay away from yours! 😉
Laugh! Don’t get me wrong, Angelina. I suppose there are many guys who feel something, one way or another. I just happen to be one of the ones who don’t care for it. No different than some women not having a G-spot (which, according to certain gender specific sources I trust corresponds roughly to the same place as a prostate) or other women for whom nipples have sensation, but do not “twang a string straight to their vagina.”
Conversely, there are guys I have known (carnally and otherwise) who get *something* from nipple play, but so very rarely does anyone juice their Jockey’s just because I licked the dang things.
Remember always, and this goes for everyone who reads or comments, I am an “expert” only by dint of having the parts in question. Your mileage *will* vary. 😀
And yeah, stay away from mine. I have lots of other places that make me wiggle and drip and scrunch up the sheets. heh!
:hysterics: Patric you are hilarious….I think nipple rings are HOT :hot: and if I was with a man who had one I would totally always want to touch it.
Just curious…do you still have your nipple ring in? 😆
Grin! Thanks Jaime. I *still* think nipple rings are hot. Visually!
And yes, I still have mine. I once had twenty-five pierces (all but four I did myself) and all above the belt, but time passed and things, erm, sagged, and I got rid of all but the nipple ring, which was my first. (And I still, to this day, vividly recall how that young man looked, all deeply tanned skin and dark hair, wearing overalls and no shirt, with one strap hanging to reveal that shiny gold loop. That image alone was worth the price of admission, and all the nonsense that followed.)
Patric
Nope! Not a whore, because that implies an exchange of currency for favor, and I never had to “pay to play.”
Laugh!
I love you too, dear heart. 😀
I should tell Buda that’s what he’s doing wrong. I don’t think he’s figured it out yet. 🙂
ROFL, great post Wave & Patric.
Lack of research by an author drives me bugnuts (some are so very glaringly obvious).
Jay said, “…since anal sex requires some preparation and timing…” and there’s another rarely mentioned subject in m/m fiction. :escape:
Hi Denni
After reading so many M/M books and getting the same repetitive sex I did my own “research.” 😆
Most authors don’t mention the prep, and as for timing? Forget it. In a lot of these books the guys have sex anywhere at the drop of a hat. 😮
“Most authors don’t mention the prep, and as for timing? Forget it. In a lot of these books the guys have sex anywhere at the drop of a hat. ”
Which is *precisely* why condoms are so damn handy in the real world.
‘I’m not alone in here.’ indeed. 🙂
Thanks for the awesome post, Wave! And thank you for the equally awesome guys, too. You rock, sweetheart!
Patric
Thank YOU Patric for allowing me to reprint your story. As you can see, many of us got a huge amount of enjoyment from reading it. It might have been Brian who first sent it to me but I’m not sure – anyway whoever it was did me a great favour.
Glad you liked the boyz – I thought they were particularly hot today. 😀
LOL! My brother has just been having issues with his prostate and yes, a walnut was mentioned.
I’m always keen on research on the techie details and trying to pin men down on the sensation has not been easy. They have thanked me for the practice though. 😀
Sue
But do you have one of those things that can bend and is flexible and responsive to the slightest twitch? 😀
Every time I eat a walnut since my last “research project” I think of men’s prostates. I wonder why? 😕
Sadly the only dangly bits I possess are my boobs, slowly heading south.
For what it’s worth, Sue, so are mine. In fact, I think it’s something of a race to see which is gonna hit the dirt first; boobs, balls, or butt.
Damn gravity.
Lol!
LOL Patric, I don’t look at my butt. I can’t see it therefore it isn’t there.
You can always throw them over your shoulder and burp them Sue. lol. That’s what the guys (Buda, Ethan and Tj) do with those characters who have BCS – big cock syndrome. 🙂
*shudder* The only things I used to burp leaked over my shoulder. Oh wait, cocks do that as well.
Don’t get me started on huge cocks, They just make me shudder.
Laugh! I am probably one of four or five bona fide gay men on the entire *planet* who doesn’t like a big dick. Oh sure, they are fun to look at, and there is nothing better for making vroom-vroom noises and practicing driving with a stick shift, (in or out of a vehicle) but to sit on one? No way!
Give me an average pecker that’ll hit the sweet spot every time over Dick-zilla any day. 😀
Oh Gawd Patric
You’ll be the death of me. Did you say “there’s nothing better for making vroom-vroom noises and practicing driving with a stick shift, but not to sit on one???” Oh my!! That’s priceless. The tears are running down my face. I have to stop having such a good time. I know I’m going to pay for this. 🙂 Why did I not know before that you were so down and dirty? You hide it well.
“I am probably one of four or five bona fide gay men on the entire *planet* who doesn’t like a big dick.”
Well I must be one of the other 4 Patric! More than a mouthful is a waste!
Tj
And I always thought you loved the big boys. How could I have been so mistaken?
Add me to the anti-BCS list, fellas! Trust me, you can get to England in a (with a?) tug boat, it just makes the journey longer and worthwhile!
Vroom-vroom noises! LMGAO!
“And I always thought you loved the big boys. How could I have been so mistaken?”
Oh no Sweetie! I like my mans very average – looks, build and endowment!
Oh Gawd Patric
You’ll be the death of me.
It’s the quiet ones you gotta watch out for Wave. We’re sneaky. 🙂
Well I must be one of the other 4 Patric! More than a mouthful is a waste!
LOL Tj! All five of us must be right here on Wave’s blog, given that Buda’s chimed in too. 😀
Hehe, I want one too! Great post – thanks Wave and Patric 😀
Jo
The guys refuse to lend me their prostate. I said it was only for a short time and solely for the purpose of research, but noooo. 😀
I really don’t think that’s fair. They get dangly bits AND a prostate. I’m convinced that the person upstairs is definitely a guy – talk about looking after your own. 😯
Well that’s just plain mean of them, not sharing their toys. I’m sure you’d give it back all clean and shiny (even if it did have a few extra miles on the clock)… is unsure where this car metaphor is going, but was inspired by Patric’s stick shift!
That’s the most convincing argument I’ve ever heard for God being a man. I may have to rethink my feminist philosophy there ;D
This is why I think men’s orgasm’s have to be better than ours.Not that ours are not good but ours don’t travel as far.
This is also why I like reading male written stories,so much,they know what everything feels like!
PS I do love female writers so don’t hate on me.
Mary
We should take away their orgasms so that they feel our pain. 👿
There are some female authors who get it right and that’s because they do the research and talk to the right people i.e. gay men. Whenever I come across something in these books that seems funky, guess who I call? Some of the guys who were here today and a few other “consultants” of the gay persuasion. If I can do the research so can authors. :cow:
Damn, I would happily trade my G-spot for a prostate 😛 It’s so unfair! :grumble2:
First you will have to find that damn non existent G-spot Julie, before you can trade it for a prostate. I think the guys will want some evidence. 😮
uhh, you’re right 😥
I have been laughing all day as I check back in to catch the newest comments. Educational as well as hysterical. What more could one want?
We’re so glad to have made your day a little brighter Laura. It’s Friday – you don’t need a better excuse to have fun. 😀
Apparently I’ll have to rethink my opinion on walnuts! : )
Great post wave and awesome article Sugarbritches!!
Where have you been Ethan? We had such a great time deciding whose prostate was in jeopardy because I really want one to try out. Nothing beats a practical experiment as I’m sure you know from science class.
I don’t think my request is unreasonable. After all I read so many gay romances it’s time to put the parts to the ultimate test. 😯
Patric will be back – he had a few errands to run and I’m sure Tj and Buda will sleaze their way in here a little later. :grumble2:
You know I’d love to help, Wave but unfortunately my prostate is non-transferable : )
Too bad that like walnuts, prostates don’t grow on trees.
*Waving frantically* ETHAN!!!
I’m glad you enjoyed, baby!
Forget the walnuts. Think of the little hill on the lonely plains, back up with meaning in your eyes, and charge forward with reckless abandon.
“We are ready to receive!”
Muah!
Patric
You know, I have always enjoyed being a girl……til I read Patrics Prostate Essay the first time. Not being one to have ever admitted to “Penis Envy”, I will admit to now really wanting a prostate 😀 ….at least once 🙂
Elaine
There’s nothing wrong with admitting that for one 24 hour cycle you want to experience life as a gay man, to see what all the hoopla is all about. I have. 😀
Oooh, too much information. I want to read about a romance, not a doctor’s exam. Entirely too much “detail” included in the stories these days. I read het and m/m romance for a nice fantasy-love experience. I don’t want to have it spoiled with talk about birth control, condoms, lube, prostates, sex diseases… etc. I prefer the sensuality of love scenes, not the realistic put-it-hear-and-do-this-next reality stuff. 🙁 By the way, I would never trade with a guy…I have very sensitive nipples and always have multiple O’s. Oh yeah!
Thanks for all the reviews…you have lead me to some very exceptional stories that do not necessarily show up on any bestseller lists yet. 🙂
Joonie
A lot of authors will be upset with your comments about condoms because they regard M/M romance as a teaching tool on safe sex. Some readers seem to want all the details and others just want a fairytale 🙂 and sometimes it’s hard to decide what will please the readers.
Like I told Jay, stop boasting 😆
We appreciate that. All the guest reviewers work very hard to produce honest book reviews. :blush:
I happen to agree with “joonie”. I read for escape from reality, not to be beaten over the head with it. There are plenty of ways/places to learn about condoms and sexual diseases…not in “romance fiction.” I certainly do not want condoms and lube in a story about werewolves and vampires. Completely silly.
I suddenly feel like Veruca Salt in the older Willy Wonka movie:
I want the world,
I want the gay world:
Prostates and peters
and deft butthole eaters…
Give ’em to me NOW!
😀
KZ
You are so bad. Trust you to come up with an appropriate verse. 😎
It’s a song! :whistle: You can’t get the full effect of the lyric without knowing the tune, Wave. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen the movie with Gene Wilder. (Oh wait. I just remembered I have to cut you some slack because you’re Canadian. :crouch: )
BTW, is it Christian I blame if I get hung up on these little green cartoon people?
KZ
Being Canadian has some disadvantages. We get everything later than our US friends. I must have seen the movie because I did and do still watch quite a few. 🙂 Kidding!! Yes I did see it but a long time ago.
The green balls are all Christian’s fault. :sex4: (I love this one).
Do not want to come across as a freak… but I love anal sex, even without a prostate. Feeling of being penetrated is more intense than when it is done ” traditional way”, for some reason always makes me come faster. All the streching, lube, etc. apply of course.
Kinda want a prostate now… LOL!
Wave and everybody else thank you for being so entertaining guys. 🙂
Sirius
You can comment again. It’s good to have you back.
I’m glad that we made you laugh today. :hurrah:
Can I ask a question? Internal and external orgasms… I know women get them, so do men get them? And can you only have one or the other at any time or can you have both of them at the same time?
I suppose the closest simile would be the difference between a “regular” orgasm, as defined by stick-stroking and spurting, versus an anal orgasm, where said spurts happen without anything touching the stick at all. If that were the case, its one or the other but not both at the same time. That whole “refractory period” where the male brain shuts down after release would preclude it.
On the other hand, if one counts the “mini” orgasms of having the prostate milked against the big finish, then yes, both can happen simultaneously. (And when it does, take cover cuz yer both gonna get WET.)
There are guys who will swear they can have multiple Os, but I can’t count those as anything other than the mini versions, or maybe edging. Grin!
Thanks for your reply Patric.And for everyone else who made this post enjoyable to read and be a part of.
If the guys in the know are still around:
I know one can feel g and p-spots with a finger. Can you feel the difference on the head of your penis?
Girls: Don’t give up on the g-spot.
Hmm… I’m gonna go out on a limb (and hope like hell one of the guys will back me up.) and say there is a distinct difference in sensation between say, the head, and that little bunch of nerves just below it, or maybe the sensation of a finger or tongue sliding along the shaft. For me, each provides very distinct sensations, and I’m apt to juice because of one over another, but there’s no way I can say if that relates to the difference between a G and P spot. (Given that I don’t have either one.)
All you girls who are wanting a prostate I can understand because *I* want a damn foreskin! 20,000 nerve endings simply can’t be wrong!
😀
You so did make me laugh and continue to do so, but unfortunately I am still only commenting from mobile version of the site and I had to log in and out three times before the comment was posted lol. Anyway, I really needed this. Thank you guys 🙂
Too, too funny! Thanks for the good laugh at the end of a looooong work week!
Thank you for this post! I’ve always wondered about this subject and nothing explained it better than the plastic paratrooper metaphor. Unfortunately we sell those at the redemption counter where I work, and now I won’t be able to look at them without thinking about prostates. ^_^
Also, if you want a prostate you could always buy a plushie one here: http://iheartguts.com/prostate-gland They even got plushies of the testis gland. A guy friend of mine even bought his own plushie uterus. 😀
A guy friend of mine even bought his own plushie uterus.
Is it washable?
😀
OMFG! I have laughed so hard I’ve cried. Patric (and Wave), thank you so much for giving me the best laughs I’ve had in months. I like a lot of women on here want to be reincarnated as a gay man. And Patric, I sympathize about not wanting your nipples played with. I can take it or leave it myself. I have what I call redneck nipples…pretty damn insensitive. Also, I’ll never hear vroom-vroom again without cackling like a demented hyena. Great post guys!
countrygirlxxoo…
LOL!! I love that. I have SO got to use it somewhere!
I am very glad we were able to make you laugh, cg. Thank you for the laugh in return!
Cheers!
Patric
Oh, man, I laughed so hard. Thank you to Patric and the other guys for their comments.
Wave, I am new to this blog but you are already the must-read-every-day-blog. I love the reviews, I love the interviews, I love the articles and surveys, and this post is just priceless. Thank you so much.
:angel: My pleasure, my honor, kiracee.
Welcome to the blog!
Patric
Kiracee
We have other similar posts. You might find some of them if you search under “fun posts” when you have nothing to do and are looking for a laugh. 🙂
Nothing to do? Surely you jest. But thank you. I will check it out – I am always ready for a laugh. 😀
Wave, and everyone who commented…
Thank you for taking the time, and for making a long week end on a high note.
Y’all are awesome!
Cheers!
Patric
Patric
Thank YOU for brightening an otherwise dull Friday. We had a lot of fun with your post and I’m so happy you allowed me to share it with everyone who hasn’t yet read Wishing on a Blue Star.
We all love you! I can’t wait for your next book.
Thank you for this absolutely hilarious and very educational post.
How about you guys doing a post about the fact that in nearly all books the couple will have anal sex whereas in real life there are quite a number of men who’re not into that at all (my gay BFF for instance). Another thing is rimming which isn’t nearly as common as the books would indicate.
Hi Enny
I’m glad you had as much fun as we did.
I did do a post a long time ago where a number of gay men pointed this out but maybe it’s time to revive it. :sex4:
Loved this posting.
Where is the post that goes over the dynamics of tops vs. bottoms?
Hannah
This was in the comment to another post which I would have to find. It may take me a while. 🙂