Nineteen

Title: Nineteen
Author: A.J. Mars
Publisher: Dreamspinner
Buy Link: Buy Link Nineteen
Genre: Contemporary m/m
Length: Novella (55 pdf pages; 16K words)
Rating: 5+ stars out of 5; DIK

A guest review by Leslie

In a nutshell: Relax and enjoy the writing style because hidden in the words is a fantastic story—short and simple, plot-wise, but great emotions that really reached down inside and touched me.

Blurb:

Ezra is nineteen, going to college in his blue-collar hometown, and still living with his mother. It’s all very ordinary… but Ezra is gay, and “ordinary” isn’t really what he wants or needs. The romantic in him yearns for a story-book kind of love, but he certainly doesn’t expect to find it at a party that starts in an old field behind campus. That’s when he meets Nick. Ezra doesn’t believe in love at first sight, not really. But there’s a first time for everything.

Review:

When I read this the first time, I thought it rated 4.5 stars. When I read it a second time, it moved up to 5. When I read it a third time, it hit DIK status. This is a book that grows on you and it’s really, really good.

The thing is, when I started it, I thought it was really, really bad. Granted, maybe I was a little biased from the two lousy reviews on Amazon and my mind was already made up. But once I let myself let go and get in synch with the author’s writing, I suddenly couldn’t stop reading. Re-reads convinced me that I loved this short novella.

The story takes place over the course of one evening. It opens with a five paragraph prologue that speaks directly to the reader and introduces us to Ezra. The story then shifts to the third person and Ezra’s POV. The writing is sort of stream-of-consciousness and we’re right there in Ezra’s mind, seeing and hearing and feeling—especially feeling—everything exactly the way he does. He’s at a party—a gathering, really—out behind the football stadium at the local college. People are drinking and dancing and smoking dope and listening to a sixties station on the radio. Ezra watches it all and the story tells us,

Not that he would ever grope a girl, anyway. He’s a guy for the guys. It’s why he comes to these things; no one’s not invited. In college, there’re groups and you belong to one and you stay in it and out of the others, but here—summer has no rules.

Summer has no rules, then Nick appears and Ezra’s world tilts on its axis (Nick’s too, I suspect although as I said, the story is all from Ezra’s point of view).

They introduce themselves, then dance a little, then decide to go for a ride. The narrative covers just one evening so to say much more would give the whole story away. You can probably guess where it’s going but it’s not just the destination, it’s the journey. Or as Ezra would say,

I’ll make this fucking trip last. I’ll make it a fucking voyage.

And it is.

What made this book particularly good for me was the way it was written. It’s not what you typically read in most m/m offerings. In Nineteen, the words just flow and cover you, pulling you in. There’s not a lot of dialog. It’s all about shifting emotions, Ezra’s feelings and thoughts: wondering what’s next, anticipating his feelings but fearing them at the same time. For that reason, I suspect a lot of people will not like this book, which is a shame. I’ve read comments and posts recently where people are concerned that many m/m stories are turning into “same old, same old.” This is a book that’s completely different in that regard and is one of the major reasons I enjoyed it so much. You need to just let yourself go and become immersed in the words, textures, and emotions. If you can do that, I think you’ll be as surprised—and pleased—as I was with the outcome.

I started reading this at lunch and I didn’t realize how short it was. I ended up reading it in one sitting (turned out to be a long lunch!) . It’s one evening in Ezra’s life and experiencing it that way with him—I think that’s the best way to read it. Give yourself about 90 minutes to get through the whole thing. Then give yourself another 90 for an instant re-read.

He looks up and returns the smile, and Nick’s hand slides over his again. They look for a minute and look away, and they just sit like that for a while, stripped to the waist and holding hands, looking up at the sky and over the field and into the trees and anywhere but at each other, because they’re waiting. There’re moments for this kind of thing, see. Sometimes they happen and sometimes you wait, but if you don’t wait, they don’t really happen. Don’t force things. Easiest way to mess ‘em up.

Ignore the blurb—as is so often the case, it misses the mark. Be adventurous and give this one a try. If you are like me, you’ll be glad you did. For me, I have a DIK on my shelf—one that will be re-read on a regular basis. Thanks to Wave for sending this hidden gem to me for review!