This is my first fun post in a while so please don’t send any brickbats my way authors. Why would I go here again having asked many readers questions about gay men’s sex habits which you patiently answered? Because I love your 
responses. 🙂 I came up with these questions while I was reading a pretty boring M/M book (no, I won’t tell you the name) and I needed to keep awake. 😆 So here we go but I warn you, a lot of the questions are about oral sex since it seems this is a huge part of romance for gay men.
1. How is it that cocks don’t get bitten or chewed off during oral sex since gay men do it all the time (in books anyway)? Do they develop more expertise because they do it so often that there’s no chance of a piece of their dicks being chomped off? Are there documented cases of guys with teeth marks down below? 🙂 Maybe there’s a video on YouTube. :popcorn:
2. What’s with all the humming in M/M books during oral sex? Where did this start and do gay men really hum when giving a B.J or did one M/M author dream this up years ago and everyone else ran with it? Does humming really make the experience more pleasurable for the guys? At times there was so much humming going on I felt as if I were in the middle of an orchestra. 🙂
3. Why do gay men whimper in the M/M books I read? Is this something authors think they do in RL? Every time I read about this I think of my dog who only whimpered when he had to go outside. 😕
4. How do gay men find it so easy to relax their throat muscles so that they don’t gag. Is this a skill they are born with? If so, that is so unfair. 🙂
5. I was wondering if a few straight men have a burning desire for and fantasize about getting blow jobs from gay men since many straight women suck (ha! ha!) at giving B.Js (that’s what I heard). 😆 You probably don’t know the answer to this question — I did some research and none of the straight guys I talked to would admit to wanting a walk on the wild side.
6. Moving on …. Recently I noticed that many authors have their guys engage in rimming and tossing a salad. Is this common practice by gay men in RL? When I toss a salad I usually think of food :eating: not sex.
7. Despite a post called Numb Shots by Damon Suede who is definitely gay, most straight female authors still have their guys “take the edge off” before engaging in anal sex. :thinker: Why?
8. Why are authors still having their guys tie off condoms. 😮 Is it because they love pretty bows?
9. I understand they do it on occasion, but can gay men really enjoy sex with a woman? Or are they better at faking it than straight women? Would they get thrown out of the gay brotherhood if their sekkrit were ferreted out?
10. And finally …..why is it that in almost every gay romance the guys suck cock before they even say hello? Is there a rule that oral sex is a rite of passage for gay teens and gay men so that they know how to do it before they even know how to kiss? Just asking. 🙂
As always, I value your input. If you have questions that I can include in a future post please share them in the comments. :hearts01:
Oh, I have another one that has been bothering me recently: why do so many characters in these books moan when they eat something tasty? It’s really getting on my nerves.
Hi Gail
Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll be sure to include it in my next post. 😆
Good questions, Wave. Being a gal, I’ve got no answers for you. I did try the hum thing on my hubby, but just got a confused ‘what are you doing’ look. 😛 Maybe it only works if you have your throat muscles properly relaxed, lol.
I have a question too. Why do the guys in books often mix their cum together after sex then lick it off? Is that common practice IRL? I mean, I understand swallowing during a BJ, but after it hits skin, it gets kinda clumpy and congealed pretty quickly– not so appetizing, IMO.
Hi Nichem
That is so funny that you were trying a new technique on your husband i.e. humming, and he was confused. Maybe he didn’t know that he was supposed to enjoy it. Tell him to imagine a 50 piece orchestra in your bedroom. 😯
That is funny as well as gross. 😆
>Nichem I have a question too. Why do the guys in books often mix their cum together after sex then lick it off? Is that common practice IRL? I mean, I understand swallowing during a BJ, but after it hits skin, it gets kinda clumpy and congealed pretty quickly– not so appetizing, IMO
>>Wave>>That is funny as well as gross. 😆
It’s called “snowballing.”
I thought snowballing was something totally different or maybe I mistook felching for snowballing. Now that is gross. 😈
Great qustions Wave! Thanks for giving voice to so many of my own ponderings. 😕 I’m awake too early for answers to my burning Qs, so now I have something more to look forward to when I get home tonight!!!
:bravo: Thanks ahead of time to all of you brave enough to answer. Anon- ok too! :anonym:
I can’t wait for your responses Reggie. I know it’s early but I couldn’t sleep so I thought I would write. 😮
I was laughing remembering there was a time when I thought the term “tossing a salad” did only pertain to leafy green stuff…. Looking forward to what some of these answers will be. I do like continuing education 😀
There are other terms you don’t want to know this early in the morning — tossing a salad is a piece of cake (so to speak). :blush:
I was going to respond after work but I love the idea of being first so I’m going to take my turn now.
1-I try not to use my teeth during oral sex but for some guys it works if you want to…prolong the experience. It can create a tingling sensation but can also make a guy calm down so he doesn’t shoot as quickly.
2-Again humming does nothing for me as a receiver and as a giver I can’t quite concentrate enough to do it. You know the saying “Can’t walk and chew gum at the same time”? Well, apparently I can’t suck and hum at the same time. That said, humming can create a pleasant vibration but I’d much rather feel the tongue than the hum.
3-I don’t whimper, but I do moan, groan and grunt. But if all authors uses those three terms and just those three terms we’d get beaten up for not using different words. IMHO, at any rate.
4-An ex of mine had to work on getting me to relax my throat muscles because he was…above average. But I took to it like a fish to water. I think it’s a talent gay men adapt quickly to.
(Comments split into 3 because it seemed “too spammy”
5-I would say definitely yes, straight men want blow jobs from gay men. And those straight men should feel free to send me an email. I will travel! 😀
6-I absolutely love this practice, depending on the man I’m with. I’d do it as often as oral sex if I could. Well, actually, I do. I love being the rimmer probably more than being the rimmee.
7-That’s an excellent question. Ladies?
8-Not tying off condoms can be messy especially if the condom wearer is a big shooter! You trying tossing an open condom full of semen into a garbage can five feet away and see what happens. If you miss, big mess!
Ethan
I LOVE your answers. I should have asked for your help when I was writing this post.
So you use your teeth “to prolong the experience” 😆
Then why do the majority of M/M writers have their guys hum during a BJ? 😕 I had never heard of this practice until I started reading these books.
I love the moaning, grunting and groaning. :blush: It’s much more realistic than whimpering, which makes the guys seem pitiful.
So gay men are not born with the “talent” of relaxing their throat muscles — it’s an acquired skill. Good to know. 🙂 Does this guy give lessons? 😀
I’ll send your address to any straight men who will admit to wanting a BJ from a gay guy. He may never go back to being straight. 😆
Most guys I talk to say they don’t tie off condoms, but maybe in your case since you’re such a size queen it’s a good idea. 😮 However we’re still only talking about a teaspoon rather than a cup full no matter how big the equipment. 🙂
I can’t find your third comment in this thread so I’ll come back to it later. Thanks Ethan.
you’re such a size queen
Waitafriggingminit! How do you know I’m a size queen? I’m not denying it, I just want to know how you know!
I was peeking in your keyhole or whichever hole was available at the time. (I can’t believe I said that). :blush:
Hey Ethan, I have a question for you. Do gay men in general find the idea of seducing straight guys sexy? Do they fantasize about such scenarios?
Do gay men in general find the idea of seducing straight guys sexy?
Obviously I can’t speak for other men here. But for myself, seducing a straight guy is a fantasy of mine. And having done it once or twice (or more) I can say that it has never lived up to the expectations. But it doesn’t stop a boy from dreaming!
…or trying at the drop of trou. :p
9-I guess it depends on where the guy falls on the Kinsey Scale. Before I came out to myself and was still married, I would say I was able to fake it thanks to what I was fantasizing about in my head.
10-A blow job is the gay hello! For some men, regardless of how well they may get along with another guy, if the sex isn’t right there just won’t be a romantic relationship. So a good BJ means they can move to the next phase of a relationship, while a bad one means “We can still be friends.”
Feel free to ask more questions. I’ve been told I share way too much personal info, but why change now?
Yes you were so good at fooling yourself you didn’t know what you were missing Ethan. 😆
I never thought of it like that. :blush:
So a good BJ means they can move to the next phase of a relationship, while a bad one means “We can still be friends.”
Are there learner’s permits issued to new gay men, like a driver’s permit rather than a driver’s licence? When the guys pass can they have a romantic relationship rather than just being friends? 😀
3-I don’t whimper, but I do moan, groan and grunt. But if all authors uses those three terms and just those three terms we’d get beaten up for not using different words. IMHO, at any rate.
As an aspiring writer it’s nice to hear a real author make this comment, LOL It IS hard to come up with fresh descriptors for certain sounds, etc. Glad everyone has this problem. 🙂
And as for the humming, I kind of see it as a moan or groan from the person giving the BJ, but with his mouth stuffed full of cock (and in M/M you know it’s always a large one) it comes out muffled … so sort of like a “hummm.” At least that is how I always envision it when reading, vs. as a musical number. 🙂
Well, not being in possession of a penis I guess I can’t really speak to this, but I have known some guys who appreciate a little humming when on the receiving end of a BJ because of the vibration. I will not disclose how I came to have this information. 😛 (Some of these other things don’t seem that odd to me either, based on my, uh, experience. I will grant you that, to my knowledge, I have never had sex with a gay dude, but I think dudes are dudes to a certain extent.)
(And Ethan, I adore you. Keep on oversharing.)
Hi Kate
Before I write these occasional posts I question my gay friends ad nauseum about what they do and how they do it. 😕 To a man they said that the humming thing was new to them. As for the whimpering, they laughed in my face and asked what I had been drinking. 😆 Like Ethan, they said that men grunt, moan and groan but do not whimper. 😀
(And Ethan, I adore you. Keep on oversharing.)
Kate– The adoration is completely mutual. Hope you’re coming to GRL 2012 so we can hang out again.
I always thought the humming was weirdly described “mm, mm, I am enjoying sucking on this” noises.
A friend and I were out walking by the stream and we found a big bag of lidocaine sprays that were clearly marked for suppressing gag reflex, and not for any medical procedure, either. We never did figure out why the stuff had been dropped there.
Hi Crys
The humming really gets to me. 😕 Maybe I should try it. :blush:
Lidocaine spray — maybe that’s what gay men use, the little devils. 😆
Seems like the drug would also numb the receiving penis. That would kind of a bummer.
Excellent point. I’ll have to ask Ethan about that. 😕
Yes anything that numbs the mouth (or the rear entrance) is going to numb the penis as well. When neither one of use can feel anything, what good is it?
Good for nothing and no good at all….
Ahhh–Fanboy moment! James Buchanan replied to my message. It’s almost like talking to him myself. And I’m reading Personal Demons right now, too!
I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!
BTW, James love your books. The Good Thief is one of the reasons I write!
Thanks
I can’t speak for other gay men, but I know I asked my son one time if he could have sex with a woman. He said not even for a million dollars then he shuddered and walked from the room. Of course, he’s eighteen and has the tendency to be dramatic at times. 😀
Stephani
That’s the reaction I get from my gay friends who are much older, so I don’t think it’s a matter of age. Of course many gay men have been married to women before they came out so I guess they thought that sex was supposed to be like their experience, or citing Ethan’s experience they just fantasized that they were with a man. 😮
I’ve had sex 2.5 times with women.
I’ve had sex 2.5 times with women.
Was this with 2.5 women?
I’m an editor. I would not make that error.
Maybe the .5 was an unfinished orgasm. OR halfway thru he asked himself what the hell was he doing with a woman?
She did oral on me and I masturbated her. We got caught before any intercourse.
Thanks to Ethan and to any other gay guys who answer. 🙂
I’ve though of the humming thing as fanon more than anything else. It’s something that sounds like it should be reasonable — the vibrations from the humming being a pleasurable sensation — but I’ve never run across it in books I knew were by gay men. (Caveat that I haven’t read every one, etc.) It’s good to get the straight [cough] word from guys who are there.
Angie
Hi Angie
To date, I have not run across the humming in books written by gay men. I have no idea where it originated, but in almost every book written by a female M/M author the guys hum for dear life every.single.time. It’s like a chorus. 😆
I was watching amateur gay porn the other day (now weave that into a casual conversation!) and the guy giving the BJ was making sounds that could qualify as humming. Of course, being a threesome, he was getting buggered from behind at the same time. That could’ve been the cause.
Possibly. 😆 However he could have read a few M/M romances and decided to join the band. 😀
That’s what I love about these kinds of forums/blogs/discussions: discussing amateur gay porn IS casual conversation. 😀
And all this constant talk of “a band” and threesomes now has me picturing a foursome, all of them connected, fucking, sucking, whatever, and each of them emitting a different pitch of moan, groan, hum, tweet etc. One heck of a “symphony.” 😉 LOL
Cheri
I’m doubled up laughing here. You made my day you bad girl. :censorship:
PS — You’re right. Amateur porn is casual conversation on this site. 😆
A bad girl? 😯 Me, never!
And this whole post has made my day, I’ve been giggling all day at the new comments.
I have never hummed while giving or getting. Is this supposed “humming” like answering a dentist’s questions with your mouth full?
You got it on with your dentist? Have you no pride? A doctor — maybe, but not a dentist unless he’s giving you free dental work.
I love this and really wish I could answer all those questions but I am really glad you asked them.
Pondering that pic, I am all sorts of interested in that extra foot there and how spread open the guy in the back is. :thinker:
Love Ethan Stone’s answers 😀
The other guys should be dropping by this evening after work I hope, to answer the questions, so stay tuned.
The picture was supposed to make you think. 🙂
My guys are either werewolves, beaten within an inch of their lives, holding back and biting their lips so all noise comes out a squeak, or being crucified in a motel shower stall with railroad spikes. I consider all of those appropriate whimpering moments.
This bi female author likes to take the edge off the penetration because otherwise I tense up and tend to yell “OUCH, dammit, what are you using, a baseball bat?” which leaves my poor husband flattered, but blue-balled.
The answer to 9 is “Identity politics” which encourage men to identify as gay after even a single same-sex encounter.
Hi Angel
I didn’t get into squeaks but that’s another sound that doesn’t seem to have any place in two manly men having sex. 😮
I think Damon’s post was specific to the male of the species. 🙂
“Identity politics?” I thought only bi and straight men really enjoyed sex with females. Why would a straight man identify as gay, seeing as how much tougher life is for gay men?
Who says they are all manly men? Some of my guys are very femme.
Anal penetration is pretty much the same regardless of the sex of the partners. And sometimes it hurts. A little lidocaine can make your magical evening remain magical instead of ending in frustration. (operative word, a little)
I think a lot of bi men, especially Kinsey 4s (opposite-leaning bi) identify as gay, and are encouraged to by the community and the movement. Straight men aren’t having same-sex encounters. Bi guys who think they’re straight are. And their self-concept of straightness gets shaken, so they jump to the other end of the scale, without realizing there is a middle.
Angel
This is what I was referring to in Damon’s post
I’ve heard femme boys and men groan and whimper. I’ve heard the same from masculine guys. It’s the moment and what is done to them.
Gosh, I suddenly remember the time I was first rimmed…
The answer to 9 is “Identity politics” which encourage men to identify as gay after even a single same-sex encounter.
That is straight on! In my very masculine work environment this is even more true. A line I’ve heard often is: You can eat pussy your entire life and suck just one cock and you’re queer for the rest of your life.
Alright Wave, I admit it I am a hummer–well maybe a moaner in B minor but still–yep–and yes–hubby often gasps a little when I do it and have him deep in my throat–think that is the key–you have to have him deep so he can feel the throat move when you hum—does that make sense??? And I asked my gay bestie about girlie sex–his response–and yes I am quoting: “You’re fucking kidding right?” Sorry for the uhm colorful response–but there you have it. As usual Wave this has been both entertaining and a bit informative–kind of like a fun tutorial! And as always Wave–thank you for being the lovely you!
Sammy
I’m picturing you doing this
Here I thought of you as the “church lady” but now you have blown my brains. 🙂
I understand where your gay bestie is coming from. I still can’t understand why many gay men marry women, other than to procreate. And even for that purpose it’s no go for the majority of the guys because they can hire a surrogate or do the turkey basting thing. 🙂
I’m so glad this was a learning experience for you. :blush:
For men of my generation and older, getting married was a way to fit in, to prove they were “normal” and not criminal deviants. Those who were functional with women did the best they could.
Younger men are less likely to be trapped by that mentality.
I do understand why they got married Angel, I just wondered if they actually enjoyed sex with women.
LOL!!! Church Lady–oh Wave–you rock!!!
Don’t you think that was an appropriate description? 😕 😆
LOL, I have met Sammy IRL and I don’t think church lady! The woman can talk dirty, let me tell you!
Hi Sammy!
She’s not really a Church Lady. That is wrong in so many ways. 😯
I’m a certified gay! Maybe I can help!
1. I still remember the first blow job I ever gave and how completely incompetent I was. Such skills are definitely learned and not inherited. I suppose the more scars a guy has, the more patient he is, so there’s that. 😉
2. I’ve tried humming and have been hummed. Aside from making both of us laugh, it didn’t do a thing. Ice cubes or a mouthful of cold beer, on the other hand, can be interesting.
3. There is such thing as guy whimpering, but usually only after he comes and everything gets overwhelmingly sensitive. I’ve noticed quite a few M/M books where guys tremble and shiver too, which I can’t say I’ve ever experienced. At least not in bed. In a snow storm, yes.
4. See my first answer. I was a gagging, chomping machine. My poor first boyfriend!
5. You’d be surprised how many straight guys fantasize about sucking dick instead. After all, they can get oral sex from women, so their wild fantasizes often involve what they can’t easily have.
6. Again, cold beer, preferably German. :flirt:
7. Sadly, I lack the boobs that would qualify me to answer this question. Anyone want to lend me a pair?
8. That’s not what we do with condoms. Most gay guys are versed in the art of making balloon animals and have secret vaults full of spunky giraffes and creamy wiener dogs. No really!
9. Can’t answer this one. Let’s just say I can still tame unicorns.
10. If they’re sucking cock before they’re saying hello, it isn’t romance. In real life, it depends on the person. Some guys just want to get laid, while others are interested in building a relationship and romance. This can also change depending on what age they are or even what era they grew up in. I’ve met a lot of older guys that grew up thinking gay relationships aren’t even possible. Personally, I always found one night stands overrated. Give me a candlelight dinners and a couple weeks worth of anticipation. That’s when the fireworks really start sparking!
Jay
I love, love,love your answers.
Authors like you and Ethan as well as the gay guys who hang out on the site are why I write these posts, because enquiring minds need to know the answers to these questions. 🙂
Starting from the bottom he! he! I’m so happy you confirmed that many gay men are interested in romance, especially younger men. Your husband is very lucky. 😎
I didn’t really expect you to know the answer to Q.9 😆
Your answer to no. 8 was so hilarious that I couldn’t stop laughing. :blush:
Cold beer seems to be your answer to the most difficult questions, you cheater.
I never thought that straight men might fantasize about sucking dick. What a switch. You’re probably right. Obviously I asked the guys the wrong question. Damn!!
Your answers to Q.1 and 4 prove that you were never one of the cool guys Jay. 😆
I’m going to quote you in future about the whimpering and the trembling and shivering. :hurrah:
I knew that the whole humming thing was just a scam dreamed up by people who didn’t do the research. :wallbash:
Thanks Jay for helping my research. :bravo:
My pleasure, Wave! I take my research very seriously. In fact, I’m hoping to conduct more research later today. 😀
Jay, if you win a Lambda Literary Award, I want your above answers to be your acceptance speech.
LOL That’s a great idea! I’ll just ramble off the answers without referencing the questions, which will make it extra weird. 😆 Although really, if I win a Lambda, I’ll probably just stand up there and whimper while trembling and shivering.
Jay, you are right when it comes to #5. In my younger, wilder days (A year ago) I did things with the supposedly straight men and most often they either wanted to suck or to bottom. Doesn’t make sense to me.
That explains why in my younger wilder days, I never got far with straight guys. I should have just whipped it out!
I’m guilty of this one. I tremble a lot. Mostly it’s excitement (hey, I don’t get around much), but some of it is nerves, too, especially if I don’t know the guy well (read: at all).
Preach it, brother! Absolutely.
You’ll be sorry you wrote this. I have a long memory B.
LOL No regrets, that’s my motto.
Aw! For what it’s worth, if I was with a guy that trembled, I would find it very endearing.
😯 Too, too funny! 😆
So, that’s no to humming, whimpering, shivering, trembling and the odd “taking the edge off.” But yes to rimming, cold beer, ice cubes and blow jobs in general. Awesome. I love your burning questions, Wave.
Nadja
Always glad to help Nadja. You can thank me for saving you all of the research when you write your next book. 😎
Oh, gosh, you really want my responses to all these questions? 😯
I know you have a short attention span Steve. Just answer the ones where you’re most knowledgeable – I think I know which ones. 😆
Hmm…
1) Men giving head learn the same way women do… don’t bite. Watch the teeth. Experience is the great teacher in all things (cept dying). A guy is more likely to rub his dick raw from frottage. Or, if they have shaved their pubes (hair growing back there can lead to nasty conditions).
2) I answered this weird “humming” thing in a reply above.
3) Whimpering suggests need. I think some writers use whimper to express who is the bottom. Though I have whimpered when teased by a guy’s mouth. I have also begged. And rolled over. And been told, “Good boy.”
4) Some guys have less of a gag reflex naturally. And experience helps reduce it. But for those of us who rarely have sex, the reflex returns with a vengeance to the point I’ve nearly choked several times.
5) Yes and no. I’m sure some are curious. Ironically, the vast majority of straight men I have had sex with were more curious about being anally penetrated.
6) Guys either love or fear rimming. Most young guys are afraid of it because of the poo connotation. I myself adore it both rimmee or rimmer. It requires cleanliness… the notion that you would start rimming some street hustler is scary. Poo!
7) What edge? Is that like a french tickler?
8) Who doesn’t keep a trash can near the bed? I once snuck a taste of my straight roomie’s cum from a condom he threw out.
9) I have enough trouble finding men who want me… now I have to consider women, too??
10) Gay men say hello through morse code on the head of another man’s penis.
Oh Gawd
Your answers are all kinds of wrong. I’m dying here Steve. Where do I start or do I even want to do so? Jay at least was polite and his answers were clean — you have taken this respectable survey to a place I never intended it to go. :blush
I will only comment on a few of your responses because some of them are like a pair of jeans that stand up by themselves, they are so dirty. 😆
I hope I make sense because I’m rolling on the floor. You are really bad for me.
I can’t quote your answer to Q.1, it’s too hilarious.
I just saw your answer to the humming question. Did you need to go there? 🙂
Are you saying that you’re the bottom boy? I only say “roll over” and “good boy” to my dog then he licks me (my face Steve, get your mind out of the gutter.) :hysterics:
You are such a liar. You sent me pictures of you copulating with many different guys (but you probably don’t remember), not at the same time of course. 😯 You get more than your share.
I take it from your answer to Q. 5 that you have made a lot of straight guys realize what they’re missing. 🙂 Were there any return engagements?
I’m not touching your answer to Q.6. BTW which street hustler was it? 😮
Most people have an edge Stevie boy.
I’m passing on Q.8. 👿
Nah, no women for you. You wouldn’t know what to do with them.
Your answer to Q. 10 is not something they teach in Sunday school. 😀
Oh, Wave, you’ve done it again! 😀 These questions are just too much fun not to answer, even if I wind up incriminating myself. So… here goes:
1. This is most definitely a learned skill, especially when having fun with the, shall we say, girthier boys. From the receiving end of oral, let me tell you, those teeth can hurt like hell, but sometimes, just the right pressure can be a fun sensation, too.
2. I tend to be somewhat vocal with my mouth full (odd, I know), but it’s usually because I’m really enjoying what I’m doing, so I moan/hum/whatever some. I can’t recall anyone ever humming around me, so I don’t remember if it did anything for me–apparently not. Ice cubes? Oh hell yeah. That’s fun so long as it’s not a constant thing.
3. Moan and groan (I would never grunt, Ethan, you beast) for sure. Whimper? Perhaps I have a different definition of whimper, but maybe. Either way, yes, we need different descriptors. Unfortunately, these are the ones Dictionary.com recommends: “bleat, blubber, complain, fuss, mewl, moan, object, pule, snivel, sob, weep, whine” None of which sound even remotely sexy.
4. *waves sadly* Intact gag reflex here. Perhaps I just need more practice. Volunteers?
5. I have submitted the question to 3 straight guys. First one said he’s had some good head from women as well as some bad. Hasn’t ever wanted it from a guy. Second one said his wife gives great head and no. Third one said something he shouldn’t have! 😕
6. Heheh. Yum. But only selectively. Definitely not with just any Tom, Dick or Ethan.
7. Utterly ridiculous. We’re men. What do men do after an orgasm? Pass the hell out, just like our straight counterparts. 🙂 Seriously, that “take the edge off” routine is right up there with shape-shifting on the Far From Reality scale.
8. It’s the polite thing to do? If you don’t tie it off, the stuff can just leak out and then you have a mess. And nothing’s grosser than cold cum. Period. Well, okay, maybe that. *shudders*
9. “My name is Buda and I am a Kinsey 6.” I adore women, but I’ve never once had the desire to have sex with them. Not even if her husband/boyfriend is super hot and being with her meant I’d have a crack at him. Angelina? I can see that she’s hot as hell, but not sexually. Does that even make sense?
10. When I was a randy young teenager, back in those heady days right after the dinosaurs disappeared, my main focus was on the cock. The concept of anal sex scared the hell out of me so I put it out of my mind. Kissing wasn’t really something I thought too much about–it implied intimacy, I think, whereas a blowjob was all about the cock. 🙂 Well, then once I got a taste of it…
Your life is now an open book Buda.
Did you say “girthier” guys? Oh no, now some M/M author will pick this word up and run with it. :)I’m beginning to understand the role of teeth in oral sex – perhaps it’s an excellent lesson in pain and pleasure.
I guess the humming thing is not a key pleasure point for you. 🙂 I can’t imagine you talking with your mouth full. It’s impolite. Mrs Manners says so. 😆 So you like ice cubes huh? Good to know. I’ll pass the word along.
You and Ethan should get together and swap experiences. I would love to be a fly on the wall or get a ringside seat. Do you find Ethan attractive? :hysterics:
He looks pretty hot. Obviously no whimpering for either of you.
You should be ashamed of yourself if you can’t control your gag reflex. I thought every gay man had it down to a science. I’ll see what I can do about getting you a few practice dicks — real ones not the kind you like. :blush:
Jay told me that Q.5 should have been worded differently because straight men fantasize more about giving rather than receiving oral sex. That’s what’s wrong with your approach Buda – you asked the wrong question. 🙂
I must admit I’m a virgin in the rimming and tossing salads department. Are you inviting the two Ethans for a trial run? I didn’t realize that the pickings were so lean.
You should tell the M/M authors that there’s no such thing as taking the edge off. Maybe they will listen to you big boy. 😀
Did you read Jay’s response to Q.8? If not, don’t do so while drinking or you will snort it through your nose.
I just knew that you wouldn’t be the appropriate gay man for the question about bedding women so we’ll skip it. 🙂
so you’re saying things have changed?
Thanks for putting in some time here tonight Buda. I really miss you.
Aw, Wave. I miss you, too. Hopefully my offline life will stop kicking my ass soon and I can start reading again. Wish me luck! 🙂
(I would never grunt, Ethan, you beast)
Buda, I can certainly make you grunt if want to give it a try.
Definitely not with just any Tom, Dick or Ethan.
Ah-Ha! I have a shot. Unless you mean the Other Ethan?
And your answer to #7 is sadly very true. It’s a biological necessity, much like eating too much turkey on Thanksgiving.
Haha! What are you doing this week, Ethan? I could use some help moving. Maybe I could offer you a little reward for helping lift all those heavy boxes?
I’d certainly take a massage or a steak dinner as reward.
Is this code for sex Ethan. Are you and Buda going to be doing it on the weekend? 🙂
Maybe not this weekend, Wave. I have lots of, uhm…goodbyes to say. Yeah, that’s it. 🙂
Yeah, certainly not this weekend. There’s still a great many miles between us. Maybe someday if we’re in the same place at the same time.
Heh. It’s all about the “steak dinner” with you, isn’t it? Hmm…
I do love it when there’s meat in front of me. Makes me smile.
Guys your responses are hilarious. So one non-happening thing for you guys is sex with women… What’s another BIG no-go for gay men that compares?
I work in a clinical lab and test ALL body fluids. I once told my husband to clean up and lets try some butt play. I ended up face down in his butt cheeks laughing my ass off. I started thinking about all the bacteria that I see every day coming out of that area and I just couldnt…I couldnt.
Try it with a dental dam, Hannah. It won’t taste so great, but it’s one way around the bacterial turn off.
Buda – Dental dam? Ugh. To quote Ty from Cut & Run series, ” You’re so fricken’ romantic I don’t know how I keep my pants on”…
LOL Finn, that was brilliant. I was trying to be helpful. I’ve been told I’m not so good at that. Maybe they were right, after all! 😀
Finn
That was one of their great lines. I hope the series continues to be as funny. 🙂
LOL this had me laughing out loud. Loved it! Very good questions too! Loved Ethan’s answers.
Still I think a lot of it is due that most of it is a literary device. Way back in the beginning, I might have mentioned that before. As a woman author who doesn’t know all that much gay sex you go with research and what is written before.
However you do see it in other literary works as well. Take The Da Vince Code. A lot of books that followed worked with hidden messages hidden in christian art or pieces of christian history.
Larissa
The aim of the post is to make you laugh, but also there’s an undercurrent of truth in advertising.
I read many of these books and each one perpetuates the same misinformation so I just wanted to ask questions to find out from gay men if there was ANY basis in fact in a lot of what’s presented as the real deal. 😆 Of course I know that many forms of literature perpetuate misinformation.
At least everyone had a lot of fun with the questions and answers. I can’t wait to see what will happen to all the humming. 😀
1) There’s no excuse for a toothy BJ! Seriously…eat a snack first, people!
2) I’ve never encountered humming before – but the guy who tries it on me best be prepared for a Simon Cowell-esque critique if they expect a golden ticket to Hollywood. Is there anything worse than pitchy head?
3) I have been known to whimper, usually when the guy does something that feels so fucking good that I can’t quite manage a full on moan or groan or grunt. OR when the guy does something that feels so fucking good that I wasn’t expecting – like a surprise. OR in the event we’re trying to be quiet for whatever reason – the whimper can be like moan replacement therapy.
4) I do have a gag reflex, but thankfully I came with more than one hole. : )
5) I have never had any desire to sleep with or seduce a straight man. I like my men 100% gay.
6) Rimming isn’t a fave for me. I can take it or leave it. Watching it in porn really turns me on though, lol.
7) I have a cocktail if I wanna take the edge off. Although I will admit that not all guys pass out right after…some can rebound in a timely manner…I’m not saying I am one of these guys…I’m not saying that I’m not.: )
8) I’ve never tied off a condom. I’ve never tried playing hoops with a used condom either, lol. I have also never worried or wondered what happened to a used condom that I didn’t dispose of myself.
9) Lady parts are like impressionistic paintings to me, they look prettiest from a distance…at least 10 to 12 feet…maybe 13…I have pretty good eyesight.
10) I have never sucked a guy off without getting his name first. I may not have remembered his name later, but I always asked! I’ve most definitely seen guys I’ve wanted to suck off long before thinking about saying hello.
Hey Ethan
You showed up after a night of debauchery!! I didn’t expect you until at least 4.00 A.M.
Re your answer to Q.1, are you saying you don’t enjoy a little tooth and nail? Pain and pleasure?
Q.2 A critique on the humming – pitchy head? Ethan, you really slay me. 🙂
So your occasional whimpering, not to be confused with whimpering all the time, is like moan replacement? Those guys who make you switch the odd time from a moan to a whimper must be really good at what they do. 😆 You sometimes feel the need to be quiet? I thought you talked all the time Ethan. 😀
I refuse to comment on your response to Q. 4. :blush:
I’m with you on the straight guys thing, but I was just wondering if they (straight guys) ever wanted to do it with a gay guy as a change of pace. 😕
You’re right to keep most of your rimming to watching porn. I heard that you have to be extra careful about the germs. Who needs to worry about that when they’re having a great time eating. :blush:
A cocktail to take the edge off? What a novel idea, you lush.
Re Q. 8 – Let the condoms float in their own juice so to speak, because you don’t feel the need for pretty bows. How about the warm washcloth to wipe off? I’ve never been with such sensitive men, but M/M guys do this all the time so obviously I’m dating the wrong kind of guy.
I like to think of myself as a work in progress that guys don’t need 20/20 vision to see. 🙂
I don’t have a good comeback for this one so I’ll let you have the last word Ethan. 😆
Sometimes you’re in a place that requires you to be less vocal…like church!
Juuust kidding!!! LOL!
I’ve never had sex in church…I haven’t been back to try it. : )
I don’t spend much time chatting up straight dudes – or at least not ones I consider to be straight. I mean…seriously…if your in a gay bar asking another man to come home and have sex with you, how straight can you be?
A warm wash cloth says ‘I love you’ Wave. Otherwise you get whatever happens to be within reach.
Tooth and nail!?! Have y’all been watching Animal Planet again?
Did you say CHURCH? 😯
I’ll remember the warm wash cloth next time — thanks for putting it in perspective Ethan, and if he doesn’t have one at the ready I’ll know what he thinks of me. 🙂
I blame movies for #2 and #7, Wave. Specifically…
#2 – Half-Baked (I believe), in which one of the stoner guys tells another that he had sex with some girl (can’t recall who) who rocked his word by humming the Star Spangled Banner while holding his balls in her mouth. Apparently it was an experience not to be missed. Heh/
#7 – There’s Something About Mary, where the Ben Stiller character is told by his ‘friend’ that he nees to jerk of to lose the edge before he goes on a date with the Cameron Diaz character… thus leading to the whole weird (but funny) cum as hair gel thing.
As for the rest, toothy BJs happen until one learns what they’re doing. After that it’s unusual unless the receiver likes it.
Whimpering can be a sound made when someone isn’t sure whether they like or dislike what’s being done to them. Sort of a ‘do I like this bit of pain with my pleasure? But it still feels good, and… *whimper*’
Totally not weighing in on the rest of it, what with not being a dude and all. 😀
So like i said, I blame movies for the humming and edge-off stuff. Though I could be wrong. *hides*
~Tis
Hi TC
Re Q.2 and Q. 7, that’s your excuse and you’re sticking to it. Well I hope that now you’ve heard the rebuttal, so to speak, from the experts (gay men) that your future books will have minimal humming and no more “taking the edge off”. 😆
How is that we don’t see any cum as hair gel in M/M books if these ideas were sparked from the same movie that I assume M/M authors inhaled? 😕 Too gross for them? 😮
Apparently the teeth are a turn on if you’re into pain, as some of the guys mentioned. 😀
I still say that any whimpering sound should only be made by a dog who has to go outside to do his business — maybe a gay dog. 😀
I think we have answers to the rest of my questions T.C. since the guys covered them.
Back to the drawing board to think up questions for my next survey. This is like a Kinsey survey, only it’s about gay men’s sexual habits. :hot: Wonder what Kinsey would think about my survey? 😕
Okay, and here I am wondering why I dont get any notifications on my phone, thats because my yesterday comment never showed up. Wave, thank you for asking all these questions – at least half of them I wanted to know too :). Thanks for the public service ;). Guys, thank you so much for your hilarious answers.
Hi Sirius
Sorry about that. Maybe your comment is in spam. I should check. Always glad to be of service especially where it comes to education. 😆
As a gay man myself, I would like to add my voice into some of the questions
1) Practice and common sense. You wouldn’t like to have something hard and somewhat sharp dragging across your delicate bits. At least I am not into that :p
2) Never had it done to me and since I only had sex in bathhouse of late, I never tried it with anyone.
3) & 4) Due to the reason above (the bathhouse related), I wasn’t observant or have it happen to me. It probably required a certain level of intimacy that was lacking in the bathhouse. I didn’t wants to exert myself over someone whom I wouldn’t see again
5) Never crossed my mind actually. I had sex with a man who told me he had a wife once in the bathhouse. But it was just a bit of post coital talk.
6) I don’t do rimming but I love getting it. I still feels too icky about doing it.
7) I supposed it was because it speaks of the prowess of both MCs that were written. That they can be virile and do it multiple times to intensify their relationship and how much they are into each other?
8) Less mess perhaps? Since I don’t do anal sex at all, again, it feels too intimate to doing that with some stranger in bathhouse.
9) I used to imagine hetero sex when I was young but as I became more aware of my preferences I not mostly focus on men and their manly parts 😛
10) I don’t get that though… the part where the MCs sucking cock before saying hello. At least not in the gay romances that I read. For me though, I would prefer to get to know the guy a bit before getting down and dirty. That didn’t happens in the bathhouse because my intention was to get off and not getting acquaintance. But I did made some nice friends from getting down in the bathhouse though…
Hi Pete
Thanks for responding. I can see that those bathhouses are front and center in your sex life. :blush:
A lot of the guys mentioned that teeth are not really part of their B.J play unless they are into a bit of pain. 🙂
Q.2 Because I read about humming all the time in M/M romances I wondered if this was something that gay men did or if our writers were overusing their imagination. From the answers it looks like the latter. 😮
Q. 3 & 4 – that bathhouse again. 😆 You need to get a boyfriend Pete.
Q.5 Looks like sex with straight men isn’t done as often as we think, based strictly on this survey. 🙂 Or maybe the straight guys don’t admit they’re straight. 😯
Q. 6 Icky is the word I would use too, but to each his own.
Q. 7 Most of the guys say that this doesn’t really happen despite what we read in books. 🙂
Q. 8 Men don’t seem to care about the mess.
Q. 10 As I said before you have to get out of the bathhouse Pete. 🙂
I do need a boyfriend… 🙁 But the thing is, I am attracted to caucasian and maybe latino men and not the asian men. As you can see from my flag, I am Thais living in Thailand. So that’s difficult.
To expand a bit on the deepthroat thing. I have it done to me and it was very lovely 😛
Someone gave me a link to this page from Josh Lanyon’s Goodreads site. Interesting questions!
1. Some guys just can’t give good head without their teeth getting in the way. The occasional friendly nip is fine of course, but no one wants to insert their dick into the knife draw after all. Good head is all about suction and tongue and lip work. At least in my opinion. 😉 Personally, when I give a bj, I like to use the figure of eight.
2. Humming? Can’t say I’ve ever done it or had it done to me. Weirdness.
3. I suppose guys can whimper. But I agree moans and groans are more common, even when they’re high pitched.
4. Ah, deep throat action! It takes practice and concentration. You have to learn how to suppress the gag reflex. Someone once told me that one way to do this is to make a fist with your left hand with your thumb inside and squeeze tight at the same time as you try to relax your throat. I’m not sure there is any physiological truth to this however.
5. I don’t have too much experience of straight guys. But I know I’d sure like to ask my new personal trainer this question.
6. Yes, rimming is very common. Maybe not on the first time with a guy, but it is one of the best things to do ever!
7. Taking the edge off? Maybe when I was 17…now at 33…errr…no.
8. I just chuck ’em in the bin wrapped in tissue.
9. Never had sex with a woman and to be honest the thought of it makes me feel a little ill. I mean…how to deal with breasts flopping around everywhere like blubbery beached whales? Ewww! 😉
10. Well I’d say that finding out if you’re sexually compatible with someone as soon as possible is important. It’s good to get sex front and centre right at the start to make sure the chemistry is there. If it’s not, then there’s no point in pursuing a romantic relationship.
Hello Christopher
Thank you for dropping by.
I never thought of teeth in a B.J. like that. 😮
Q.2 Everyone (at least the guys) seems to agree that the humming we read about it in M/M romances is really all in the authors’ imagination. Fiction and fantasy. 😆
Q. 3 I still think of my dog with his legs crossed every time I read about whimpering. 🙂
Q. 4 I still think it’s unfair that the guys seem to relax their throat effortlessly, but I’m happy to know that it’s not that effortless. :blush:
Q. 5
I take it your personal trainer is both hot and straight. 😕
Q. 6 – Rimming
it is one of the best things to do ever!
WOW. I guess the authors got this one right, at least in your mind. 🙂
Q. 7 – Taking the edge off seems to be another myth.
Q. 8 I never could figure out why so much attention is paid in M/M romances to getting rid of a condom. Your solution seems to be a lot easier and definitely won’t harm the environment. 🙂
Q. 9
I understand your perspective but that does seem a bit harsh. :blush:
I was joking about the breasts. They don’t actively disgust me. I’m just not sure of the point of them. 😀
Well, as a gay man you might not see the point of breasts during sex but, think of all those babies who would not be alive today but for breast milk. 😯
I did understand your point BTW. 🙂
Tried to comment earlier, but I was too busy hiding under a bus seat ’cause I was embarrassing myself by laughing out loud, really loud :blush:
Seriously too funny, very educational too, I like that combination
(Just not when riding the bus) *note to self, stay away from jessewave when in public*
Thanks guys, I needed a good laugh 😀
I’m commenting a little late, but I’m late in catching up on your posts wave. I’m sooryy 🙁
I’m a guy and I don’t really like it, or have ever had guys use a lot of teeth.
It’s all about the tongue near the head, for me 😀