A recent post in one of my publisher groups got me to thinking. Anything that gets me to 
thinking is a dangerous thing because it usually leads to me doing something I shouldn’t. But, in this case, I think it’s probably worth following up on.
A writer posted on the m/m romance publisher group that she (with her two-initials first name) had recently received a note from a potential reader, who asked her if she was a male. She wondered how she should respond—and many other writers chimed in, with suggestions for everything from silence to snark to courteousness.
Ever the smart-ass, I surprised myself by coming down on the side of courteousness. This is what I wrote:
I think the e-mail is a little out of line and agree that it shouldn’t matter. But you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by making a polite and honest reply. You might even say you’d love to hear what he thought of your work and if he felt your gender actually made any difference. Handled politely (even though he wasn’t), you may be able to begin to turn this guy’s thinking around and bring a new reader into the fold. Snark, silence, or taking offense will not accomplish that. And my response may not either, but at least you’ve elevated yourself and perhaps opened the door to opening his mind.
I know this issue of gender and writing has popped up here on Jessewave over the years and my answer to whether women can write men and men can write women has always been—it depends on whether they tell a good story or not. As with writing any fiction, whether you have an outie or an innie doesn’t really matter as long as you can write characters that people care about and a world that can enfold you, wherein you and the author conspire together to create something brilliant.
But the whole issue of courtesy is what I wanted to natter on about a bit today. Frankly, I am lately seeing a lot of rudeness and inconsideration from authors, reviewers, and readers.
And it makes me sad. Makes me lament, as Rodney King once did, “Why can’t we all just get along?”
Authors? The best example of rudeness I have seen lately was the dust-up over this year’s GayRomLit. Here we have a small group of people (organizers) working themselves silly to create a retreat that will be an enjoyable experience for those of us who love to read and be read and because of some ill-considered wording, they were suddenly vilified by many, many authors. Pity them for trying to do something nice for the m/m community, for wanting to foster a spirit of acceptance and growth. From some of the comments I heard being bandied about on the web, I expected to hear of Ethan’s Day lynching, or Heidi Cullinan’s tar and feathering, or maybe Damon Suede being flogged (although he might like that). Come on, folks, asking questions and raising issues is one thing, casting the organizers as elitist monsters is quite another. Level-headed discussion would have been so refreshing to see—on both sides of the fence. Now that the furor has died down, this whole brouhaha, in retrospect, looks nothing more like the proverbial tempest in a teapot. I am not saying authors should shut up and write, but that they should, as I hope they do when writing a piece of fiction, think before they speak. Authors, more than anyone else, should understand the power of words—to harm or to heal. Let’s try to remember to communicate with kindness and consideration. Really, it’ll get us so much further. Ask your mom.
Reviewers? Right here, on the Jessewave mainstage, was a recent article lamenting the drop in quality in m/m romance. While the reviewing staff made some valid points (really, who doesn’t want there to be more quality, more care taken to see that there’s quality, and simply all-around better books?), I thought the blanket impression given that m/m is suffering from a decline wasn’t as thoughtful as it could have been. For one, I agree that there may well be more bad books out there than there were a few years ago; the growth of the genre has created a hungry beast and sometimes hungry beasts eat anything. But I do not believe for a minute there’s been a decline. It’s just that the good stuff might be harder to sort out from the bad. It would be lovely if reviewers adopted as their primary task bringing forth the good stuff as a service to readers and well, politely ignoring the bad (which may or may not actually be bad; badness being subjective).
As a reviewer myself (theater and books), I eventually came to the conclusion that I did no one any favors by writing a mean-spirited snarky review damning some poor soul’s creative output, even if that output was utter garbage. It was still someone’s baby and I just don’t believe it’s right to lift your leg and piss on someone’s baby, no matter how ugly the poor child is. Walk on by, as Dionne Warwick once sang. But, you might argue, isn’t a reviewer’s role to warn readers away from the abysmal?
Not really. Oscar Wilde said it best: “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” Staying mum on a bad creation is not only a kindness to the creator, it also achieves the same purpose as a pan, maybe better than a pan.
And readers? Much of my plea for kindness goes out to you (I can’t help it; I am both a reader and an author). So before you leave that one-star for someone’s work on Goodreads or slam the creative output of an author because it was not what you expected (and that’s a lot different from being bad), think about what you’re doing and who you might hurt. In the end, when you slam someone’s creative output, you are taking a crap on something someone wrote, really, with only good intentions—to entertain you, to touch you, to make you laugh or cry. Walk on by. Or, if you must criticize, make sure it’s constructive and that you find something, no matter how miniscule, nice to say, along with your diatribe. Never leave a one-star with no words to back it up. That’s just cruel—and one-sentence slams are nearly as bad.
I guess in the end, I hope to get across the message that communication, like magic powers, can be used for good or evil. We always have a choice. How will you use your power?
Rick R.Reed’s contact information
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Good points, Rick. I’ve found the best way to deal with criticism is to honestly address the issue. Sometimes you can turn a potential foe into an ardent supporter.
Seeing you’re from seldom sleepless in Seattle, how about seeing if the GayRomLit can be held there next year. It’s one place I’ve always wanted to visit!
Oh man, I would love that. We need a west coast GRL! Thanks for the comment.
Seattle, yes please! There’s a direct flight from Iceland ^.^
Saw one of those ecards “common sense is so rare, it should be a superpower”. You are Superman! Loved this post Rick and Wave, good on you for posting it.
🙂 love the card! And thanks!
I agree that courtesy is the way to go. Politeness should be a must. Regarding gender, when I pick a book to read I never even register the gender. I am looking at storyline not if they are male like me. I think everyone deserves to me treated equal (male, female, gays or other minorities). We are all human with feelings and should be treated equal. Almost all my favorite m/m are written by female authors. Thanks for your thoughts Rick.
You’re very welcome. And I do hope you have a place for at least a few male authors of m/m. 😀
Hi Rick
Great post. I would like to comment on a couple of your points in the areas of quality and reviewing as they pertain to my post of March 1:
I thought the blanket impression given that m/m is suffering from a decline wasn’t as thoughtful as it could have been. For one, I agree that there may well be more bad books out there than there were a few years ago; the growth of the genre has created a hungry beast and sometimes hungry beasts eat anything. But I do not believe for a minute there’s been a decline. It’s just that the good stuff might be harder to sort out from the bad. It would be lovely if reviewers adopted as their primary task bringing forth the good stuff as a service to readers and well, politely ignoring the bad (which may or may not actually be bad; badness being subjective).
This is only my opinion, but I have noticed a definite decline in the quality of M/M books over the past 10 years, which is how long I have been reading these books. I read lots of other genres and of course I also noticed that general fiction has suffered a decline, but I don’t review general fiction and in any event those books have a long ways to go to compare to the “bad” M/M books. The good M/M books are not that easy to find now and when we do find these books we praise them to everyone who would listen. Sadly, there are too few of those and believe me, we have looked. There is a marked increase in the number of books rated 1, 2 and 3 stars on the site and that’s not because we have become more critical, but because of the decline in quality of the product. As a review site we don’t have the luxury of only posting reviews of “good” books – wish we did. Unfortunately, we have to review every book we request from a publisher unless there’s undisclosed M/F on-page sex in them as we only review M/M. However when we write negative reviews we try not to include snark. We also try to include positive comments about the books we rate negatively, especially if they were written by new writers, but we have to be honest since we review for readers, those people who save up to buy the books.
As an aside, many new M/M authors that I met at GRL 2012 whose books received negative reviews on the site actually thanked me for our reviews. Some authors told me that the reviews helped them improve as writers – of course they could have been blowing smoke. 😀
I’m certainly no expert but I have read more than my share of M/M over the years and I see the significant decline in quality compared to other genres. Also, that post was a long time coming! 🙁
PS – The gender thing? Do readers really care, as long the books are well written and provide an enjoyable reading experience?
I think we are most likely on the same page; I just believe that the number of good books has not gone down, but maybe the number of bad ones has risen. Is that a decline or an upswing in some books that are not quite ready for prime time? You probably know better than I. I do, however, think you do make a lot of effort to be constructive in your reviews. I think the more damning and damaging reviews come from “armchair” reviewers on Goodreads or Amazon, etc. who leave one star with no comment or snarky single-line comments with nothing to back up their claims.
I think it’s unlikely that the actual number of good writers and novels has decreased. What seems more likely is that there are proportionally more…less good ones out there. That’s to be expected when you have a sudden growth in the market. With the economy the way it’s been, I think a lot of people who were out of work decided to turn to things like writing as a possible source of income. (I have no hard evidence for this, apart from the large number of people showing up on Facebook with “writer” listed as their sole occupation.) I suspect it will even out eventually, as some writers realize this just isn’t for them, or they can’t handle the criticism that is part of being a professional writer. And in the meantime, at least a few new talented writers are getting their feet in the door.
A good (i.e. constructive) critique can be a writer’s best friend. I disagree in part about the observation of a decline in the quality of m/m books; my opinion is that there has been a decline in certain areas of romance of all flavors with the advances in ePublishing…and on the other hand, while there are some books out there that boggle my mind with just how bad they are (IMO), obviously people are buying them, so what do I know? Maybe it just proves that there’s a market for everything.
Wonderful post. All it really takes is for people to be mindful. Often on the Internet, we just rush along pell-mell from one bright stimulus to another, leaving our comments as though they have no more weight than the pixels that form them… and often they don’t. But sometimes they do.
I love your post, I to find it insulting when readers ask about gender of author my stance is who cares. I mean if someone feels that the author doesn’t understand because of their gender or that the author couldn’t possibly understand an experience What do you say to author’s like Stephen King do you really think he has ever owned a demon dog or a possessed car? If so I truly don’t want to meet him LOL. If an author can take me to another place, make me cry, laugh or even just make me end their story with a smile or wanting to read their next book I couldn’t care less if your male or female.
Wonderful points, Rick. You’ve expressed something my tongue has been too frustratedly tied into knots to put into words. I may have got there eventually, but you’ve done it for me. I’ve been discussing this elsewhere — that disliking something doesn’t translate to ‘wrong’ and that a few seem to forget that, which potentially spoils things for many.
Politeness and respect seem to have vanished. Or at least fallen waaay out of fashion. It’s a relief to hear someone champion the idea of just being nice because being nice is the right thing to do. And it’s, well, you know, *nice*.
Strong post, Rick — speaking for myself only, I’m most interested in comments about my work that show a capacity for critical thinking. I’d strongly prefer that those comments come in supportive packaging rather than negative, but I’m learning to keep my personal feelings off the table, so to speak.
For me as a writer, I’m interested in a reviewer/reader’s honest feedback about their experience of reading my work. So long as I remember that it is specifically THEIR experience, I’m open to listen. Even when I don’t agree. When criticism creeps from being about the writing to being about the writer, I simply turn off.
As a reviewer, I see no point in not offering criticism if I feel it’s warranted. Again, so long as I’m clear that it’s MY opinion, I’m just part of a conversation. Or an argument, whichever. I work to wrap my comments in kindness rather than negativity, but I can’t guarantee how someone else will hear my comment.
If I have the author’s (or the publisher’s) ego in mind when I write a review, I’m no longer writing about the work, I’m playing to a particular audience and may as well not write the review at all.
So I agree wholeheartedly with your premise of courtesy and kindness, and I’d add clarity and unflinching honesty to the mix. One day I hope to find that balance point! 😕
Tried to edit my original post to add this observation:
“experience, I’m open to listen. Even when I don’t agree. When criticism creeps from being about the writing to being about the writer, I simply turn off.”
Same is true for the GRL controversy — when questions about the policy turned into questions about the motivation or character of the organizers, the criticism lost all relevance.
Good points, Lloyd, especially the last part. Thanks for adding to the commentary.
Well spoken!
Great post Rick! I find that constructive criticism in a well intended, less snarky, more helpful manner goes a long way. There are books that I don’t like, and, yeah, I’ve read a lot that aren’t quality. But I have to agree with you when you say that you don’t believe that there is a decline in quality of the m/m genre. I’ve read a LOT of good books as of late…more good than bad. But the point I’m trying to make is that I’ve read a lot of books. There have been a ton of new authors this year and last. They don’t all grab my attention. They don’t all tell a story that I absolutely love, but I’m only one person. I can only give my opinion. It’s not my job to tear an author down because I personally didn’t like the book that much. It’s not my job to warn people away from the book because it wasn’t my favorite. I can only say that the book wasn’t for me and maybe someone out there will read it and love it. That’s what’s so great about this genre we love so much. There is something for everybody.
I should have read this before putting in my reader review of Half a Million Dead Cannibals – although I hope I was nice anyway.
Regarding author gender, the only reason I can think of to care about it is that someone writing about a gender which is not theirs might get some of the intimate facts wrong – there have been posts here on jessewave about some of the issues on which m/m can be misleading (one/two/three fingers and tying off condoms are two I remember). It’s not a big problem in the scheme of things, but does leave me slightly wondering whether I’m being led up the garden path. Being led up the garden path can be fun, but I do like to know when it’s happening to me.
Yeah. Whenever an author gets facts wrong and doesn’t do his or her research, it pulls you right out of the story, doesn’t it? And that’s a problem. Good writing keeps your head in the world the author created…and good writers come in all shapes and sizes–and genders.
Very well said. I’m a reader, not a reviewer, and generally tend to rate and review books that I loved. But recently, I posted a very sarcastic review for a book I did not finish. Did it make me feel better? Nope. In fact, I removed my review the very next day because it was making me feel bad and mean. I vote for kindness 🙂 , although I recognize that for professional reviewers, that might not always be possible.
I like the general idea of erring on the side of kindness. And I do believe there is a place for negative reviews, but as I said, they should be balanced and constructive. If you hate something, I believe you have an obligation to tell us why and question before you speak whether the fault lies in the craft or artistry of the author–of if it was simply something you personally didn’t care for. And it IS always possible for pro reviewers to just not review something that is horrendously bad. I opted out of reviewing plays all the time when I reviewed theater if they were just all-around failures.
Actually, I think ignoring rude questions and comments is the best option. You really don’t want to open the door to ongoing debate. And I don’t mean that unkindly, I just mean, who has time for that? I don’t have time to answer all the HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WRITING ANOTHER ADRIEN BOOK? Let alone the off-topic stuff.
Example, I had fan mail this morning that ended with “By the way, how old are you?”
Now, my impulse was to reply, “Old enough to consider that a rude question.”
And indeed it is. But I reflected that it was likely not intended rudely, my reader probably had some legitimate curiosity over my points of reference. I AM older than a lot of writers and readers in our genre. And that shows in good ways and I guess it shows in “bad” ways.
But for me the bottom line is…I don’t have time for lengthy discourse — not even on subjects I’d love to discourse on and not even with the delightful readers who send the majority of email I receive. Time is a premium in my life. And as tempting as it is to hand over the email to my virtual assistant, no. I answer every single piece of it to the best of my ability.
But that does mean I get to draw the line.
And in fact I think it does our society good when we draw the line. I think it’s important to make it clear what we will and will not discuss, when we insist on keeping the conversation civilized and focused on books and literature. The internet makes it easy to forget the borders and the boundaries. I think it’s important to enforce those borders and boundaries — to remind others and ourselves that there’s a difference between fiction and fact, that there are real people with real feelings, real potential for hurt and pain and damage, real lives behind the cyber walls.
Truer words…. Thanks for the thoughtful–and insightful–comment, Josh.
I couldn’t agree more, Rick. I struggle daily to be mindful, and I don’t always win the battle. Thanks for a timely and eloquent reminder.
But, Rick – I love those one-star reviews about my stuff – I always agree with them! 🙂 🙂 I suspect it might be my mother, you know, as she always wants me to put more sex in, sigh …
Anne
xxx
Oh Anne! That explains a lot about you. 😮
A welcome blog, Rick. Thank you. I can’t speak for others, but I have felt bashed as an author recently. However that’s past and now it’s time to move on.
I felt that the question of whether the author was male or not, wasn’t as misogynist as some of the others I have seen, but more a genuine ‘this is what reading at the moment’, as I am reading crime or young authors. I thought politeness was a good way to handle the question.
I’m a new reviewer and an old reader. Each book is a new treasure to open. Being a reviewer has opened me up to some amazing writers. I hope that doesn’t change. Fingers crossed.
Rick,
Great post. When I decided to actually submit to my publisher I had a conversation with another person about the m/m industry and was warned about they way some people could be when it came to the books. Since then, and since being connected with so many different authors with different publishers etc. I’ve noticed trends in talking about ‘boycotts’ against publishers and against certain writers. Since the m/m community is so small this does some irreparable damage to people who have bills to pay, food to put on the table, etc. etc. That is a terrible practice for a genre that is trying to get out into the mainstream. That has to stop if this genre is to be taken seriously. I look at it in this light, there are genre’s for every walk of life out there. There is woman’s literature, African American literature, Russian, French, and so on. There ought to be and there should be good m/m literature for our segment of society for the future generations to look back on when the world was a little less free to read about the struggles, the love, the passion, the determination, of a group of people to be free. Regardless of how the book is written or who its written by there is a certain truth that the writer can’t escape from. Art imitates life and because of this, regardless of the theme of the book a reflection of life today, will show up in the book.
This leads to another issue I think, RIck, that needs to be addressed. Its a bit of the big pink elephant in the room. The internet is a wonderful resource, a powerful medium in which people can communicate, but since its advent there have been what I call “keyboard heros” who get out there and let everything they learned about functioning in polite society fall by the way side. They take no issue in being the nastiest, most inconsiderate, bits of gutter snipe that they can possibly be as they address things that they feel is ‘beneath them’. ((I. E. Wander into a tea party website and try to talk rational politics with them and they’ll label you anywhere from Stalin to Hitler and everything in between. They use language and scathing comments thrown at people, words they would never dare say to anyone face to face in fear of being forced, maybe literally, to eat their words. If you are being made subject to one of these keyboard hero’s, the only thing I can suggest it to simply let them alone. Trying to reason with them, or stand up for yourself, or acknowledge them in anyway is like trying to make a pit viper your house pet.
For there to be a decline in M/M literature it is my opinion that there would have to be a shortage of people writing in this genre. If you don’t like what is being written, here’s a first clue. Don’t read it. I like horror, I love novels by Stephen King and others, but do I like everything the man put out? No. Dreamcatcher was a walk into the weird that was too weird for me. Did I suddenly throw out every novel written by the man? Did I castigate him for his sudden misadventure into something I personally didn’t like? No, I put the book back on the shelf and told myself that I would try to reread it at a later date and if I didn’t like it at all then, I would simply not read it. Gathering up your forces to black ball the author, the publisher, those who are friends with the author, is really infantile and short sighted of them. How would they like it if we went to their place of work and did the same? They would be outraged. Some would ask, then don’t we have a right to critique a book? The answer is, sure by all means but take into consideration these factors.
1) Have you ever sat down and tried to flush out a story that you intended to submit for publication? If you have then you would know that its a very difficult and time consuming process, let alone an exposure of a bit of yourself.
2) Are you one of those keyboard hero’s, one of those pit vipers, whose critiques are so venomous that you actually intend to poison the career of a writer? If you are, then perhaps you ought to believe in Karma. ‘ Cause its a bitch.
3) Are you trying to help the author out by your critiques? There are some really well intentioned people out there, and some of them offer great and reasonable opinions in regards to how one could fix things either with grammar, spelling, etc. And that is awesome, Karma in turn, applies to you as well.
4) Never say something to or about someone that you wouldn’t dare say to their face. Their work can be utter garbage, in your opinion, but if you aren’t brave enough to let the fur fly mano y mano, then hold your tongue.
and finally
5) Take into consideration that our genre has a limited audience and that anything you do or say about somebody’s work could keep them from being able be a part of the genre ever again. Furthermore the LGBT community and its supporters are small, what kind of message are we sending to the world if they see us squabbling among ourselves over …….just really stupid shit.
Reviewers aren’t there to ‘help out the author’. They’re there to help out the READER, by giving them honest opinions to help them decide where to spend their money. That’s the consideration that I hope is uppermost in any reviewer’s mind.
Let me clarify,
Most of this wasn’t geared toward professional reviewers. Not at all. It was the readers who have no issue in lambasting a writer and carrying on like a child throwing a tantrum. You see, as a review I am sure you do your work as mentioned above to help other readers decide which books are good and which aren’t. I understand that. The reviews that I have had, the professional reviewers, have been wonderfully professional. But I think extending professional courtesy to you over this, in turn, gives me that same breadth to clarify a misnomer in the literary world, or why I write and why others write. I write not for the reader nor for the reviewer. I write for me. I write because that is all I can think about when I wake up, during my daily routine, and before I close my eyes at night. It’s my passion, its what I live for. Its my art. Now whether this person likes it or that person doesn’t like it, really doesn’t matter to me. A negative review will be taken in stride along with positive ones but at the end of the day, when its all said and done, I won’t stop writing. I have heard some horror stories where authors have been threatened for writing a certain way, for not writing a certain way, for not continuing on with a series, for all sorts of reasons and to me, that is ridiculous that this type of behavior comes out of adults. If literature is art imitating life, then not all things an author writes is going to be liked by those who read it because life usually isn’t a pretty picture of perfect people doing perfect things. You can’t even get that from a Soap Opera. Hell, you can’t even get that in the Bible.
“Reviewers aren’t there to ‘help out the author’. They’re there to help out the READER, by giving them honest opinions to help them decide where to spend their money. That’s the consideration that I hope is uppermost in any reviewer’s mind.” That’s great and as your profession, I think you should keep that up but lets be clear here. As a writer, my goal is to write and help me to get things out on the page that I can share with the reader. I am not trying to end up on the New York Times bestsellers list, our genre has a long way to go before being accepted into mainstream art. I am not trying to make a million dollars, Art, for art’s sake, is free. Some people like Picasso, some like Rembrandt, some people prefer Mozart To Beethoven and Janis Joplin over Brenda Lee. Art is in the eye of the beholder.
This notion of the ‘decline of M/M writing’ is laughable. You don’t like what’s being written? So what? Someone else will. You think you can do better? Then by all means, have at it. Put your money where your mouth is and get to work but, at the end of the day, expect the same amount of critiques that come your way and don’t bitch about it when someone pisses all over your work, because their opinion, like yours, is valid. I’m not being cheeky here, I think reviews are a positive thing that authors can learn from and should be written, however, tread carefully. If the decline of m/m romance is actually happening, then some of you reviewers may find yourself unemployed and without anything to read. And that would be a shame.
Professional reviewers? If Wave is paying us I surely missed that memo. It is a hobby for me, or
Maybe a volunteerjob. Do you really think that as a reviewer I am concerned with putting you out of business as a writer? Those readers and I am one of them pay their hard earned money for your books and this IMO gives them all the right in the world to say whatever they want about it. No author ever explainedto me how the book is different from the toaster or TV? Those people who made them worked hard too . Why is it that I should worry about author’s feelings if I am never rude to the author in the first place but so many authors seem to think that disliking their books is a personal attack on them? Why? The ironic thing is that I always care about how I say things in my reviews but if I as one reader feel that your characters behave like idiots I will say so. If I think that your plot is full of holes I will say so. The very next reader may love everything I disliked and praise the book to the high haven. I do not write my teviews for the authors – they are not my intended audience. English is my second language. I would never dream of giving a writing advice to the writing professional. I want to talk about the book with other readers withour author telling me what I should and should not write.
Can I do better? Do better what? I am not a writer – my clients who cannot do my job are critical and demanding every day nevertheless. Why it should be different for the writers? Why would you read reviews if they get to you that much?
I am not saying you and this isn’t directed towards anyone in particular, that’s great that you do this as a hobby or what not. Telling someone there are plot holes, issues with grammar, critiquing the story or the work isn’t the crime. What is is when there is a four page, hate bash, on a particular author designed to destroy their book, knowing full good and well that your reviews carry weight with readers. I read one particularly scathing review and if it had been a person receiving a beating, I would have called it a hate crime. There is a difference between an authentic review and someone who really wants to stick it to someone else. Furthermore, I received a critique form a reader not too long ago on amazon who went into this tirade on how awful my book was. Then, when I went to see what he had written and his reviews, I noticed that should someone not have given him a glowing review, he in turned chided them on it and told them, “Oh you must have been one of the writers whose work I rejected.” Rejected. Really? Its the “keyboard” heros that get me. Not the professional reviewers. The grande puba’s of upper but crack who must show the world how much of an asshole they can be.
Why would I read them if they get to me that much? Why would you read a genre of books you feel that are declining and allow them to ‘get to you that much’? Perhaps its the hope that you’ll run across one that’s worth a damn? Could that be it?
Thanks, Frederick, for the reasoned response. You have given me, and I’m sure many others, much to think about.
Wave, I agree with you 100%. There has been a decline in the quality of m/m fiction as well as in other genres (e.g., I found the latest from Robert Crais and especially John Grisham to be surprisingly disappointing).
This post makes some good points. I especially like the advice for the writer to respond courteously to questions about her gender. And I have no problems with the organizers of this year’s GRL.
But this,
implies that readers and reviewers must keep the authors’ fragile feelings in mind when critiquing their “babies,” and that is condescending in the extreme. We creative professionals can take impersonal, blunt criticism of our work just as any inventor or sports figure or scientist out there has to. We authors don’t need to be coddled, and we don’t need posts suggesting that we DO need to be coddled, which only reinforces our public image of being whiny, insecure divas who attack reviewers.
As an author, I learn from all of my reviews, whether negative or positive. I’d far rather just get the reviews and sort out for myself what is of value than to have readers “walk on by” – or never get around to writing the reviews in the first place because they’d have to expend energy on thinking about me and my feelings and wondering how to phrase things.
Lloyd, you said it well here,
There is no point in writing a review if we reviewers aren’t going to make a distinction between what we feel to be great books, good books, average books, flawed books, and books that probably weren’t ready for publication. As a reviewer, I’m not going to write a snarky review – not because I feel sorry for authors, but because I admire their drive to produce something. With respect, I will point out everything that worked for me and everything that didn’t.
But sometimes I have to say that a story was badly written or even well written but didn’t move me at all. The readers know that it’s only one reviewer’s opinion. They might be inclined to buy the book anyway because they like the story elements that come across in the review or blurb, or their taste runs opposite to mine. As reviewers, we owe it to the readers to make a truthful, impartial judgment on the book.
Thanks Val, I was really feeling inhibited about writing that next review. You just made me feel better.
You’re very welcome, Raine. 😀 It’s always better to review than not to review.
I agree with most of this post, and I agree with most of Val’s response to this post, but there’s one important distinction that I think perhaps could be made clearer. Or maybe I’m just misunderstanding something. 🙂 That distinction is about the “obligation” of readers versus reviewers, and the bit that Val quoted is the same one that’s problematic for me.
I agree that reviewers on a site like this one should be as kind and constructive as possible about what worked and what didn’t for us, personally, as reviewers. Though as both Val and Lloyd said, not with the author in mind (though to some extent these days I’m afraid that’s impossible).
However, Goodreads is for readers. And readers, in my opinion, owe nothing to the author beyond the cost of the book. “I hated it!” with a 1-star rating is a perfectly valid Goodreads review. Helpful? Not especially, not to authors or even other readers. Neither is a 5-star rating with no review, or one that says, “OMG, best book ever!!” But it’s still within the reader’s rights to post that. Anything more constructive than that is gravy.
I think most prospective readers are savvy enough to give those sort of reviews (the positive as well as the negative) little credence, and I’d like to believe most authors are too.
I would never, ever argue against free speech, Jeaci. You’re correctt in that people have the right to express their reviews, however eloquent or not. I am simply arguing for forethought, tact, and common courtesy. I realize that, for the most part, I am preaching to the choir on here, but if I have reached even one person who might, in the future, attempt to be a little more careful in the words they can so easily put forth (especially on the web), I will feel I’ve done some good.
Well, you’ve made me think a little more carefully about what I write at Goodreads in the future. I don’t think I’m a nasty person, but it’s very easy to anonymously leave critical reviews, without thinking about the consequences.
I do believe a reader/reviewer should be honest when they don’t enjoy a book, rather than only reviewing stories they like, but there are definitely tactful and courteous ways of conveying that.
(So you have done some good. 🙂 )
I agree with you, Jess. I think the reviewers should support their conclusions with evidence from the story, but I don’t think the readers owe us authors anything other than the $2.99 or whatever price necessary to buy the book in the first place.
As a reader/buyer, I completely ignore the one-star or five-star reviews with minimal to no explanation. It’s fine if someone wants to leave such a review, but it’s not especially valuable or relevant.
Hi Rick, thanks for an interesting article. I am replying to Val because I agree with her almost 100%. I as a reviewer believe that my obligation to the author lies in only one area – I will never ever let myself say anything bad about author’s person. If I think the book was terrible (especially since as you said it is subjective and it is always only one reader’s opinion), I am going to say so without trying to come up with “something nice to say” – if I do not have anything nice to say. It is only my personal opinion as one single reviewer (NOT site policy or anything like that, only speaking for myself alone), but I consider myself as a reviewer having an obligation mostly towards the readers and of course only towards those readers who may share my reading tastes. If I help one reader enjoy an awesome book, or help one reader to save money on the book they would have hated (again, if and only if they share my tastes), obviously, I consider my job well done. So I guess while I am always in favor of the civility towards each other, I do not agree with your other points about reviewers.
See below. We are on the same page (although I do differ in that I do believe in trying to dig for something positive to say about a work; to me that’s just kindness; usually something has SOME redeeming quality)–I too believe that a reviewer’s responsibility is to the readers, NOT authors. That doesn’t mean a reviewer can’t take the time to ensure his or her words are supported by the text and that views are expressed with civility, even when delivering bad news.
I agree with you Sirius and with Val as well. With respect to Mr. Reed, I don’t accept that books are babies and I don’t write reviews for authors. Reviews are for readers. If an author gets something out of it, that’s all well and good, but that’s not why I write a review. Personally I try and put it in terms of what worked for me and what didn’t and I’m not usually snarky – though there are some rare occasions where I may head into ranty territory. I don’t think I have an obligation to be “nice” – there is a whole lot of baggage associated with the idea of “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” – especially for women.
Apart from anything else, some negative reviews actually sell books. One man’s feast is another’s famine as they say. There are reviewers where if they love a book I know I’ll pretty much hate it but if they don’t like it, then I’m in. There are reviews which say “I didn’t like this book because I don’t like x” and then I’ll be all “wow, I love x – I’m so there!” If those reviews weren’t written, I wouldn’t know about the book.
The kiss of death for a book isn’t a bad review, it’s being ignored.
I appreciate that writing a book takes a lot of time and effort. But I can’t look to that when I’m reading it or writing a review. I look to whether or not I enjoyed it, whether it was well formatted and edited, whether the writing style worked for me, the plot, the characters, etc. Unfortunately, time and effort do not always equal quality.
As for the quality of m/m books – I’ve been fortunate enough to mostly read very good m/m romance and I haven’t personally noticed a decline. I agree that there are more books available now. Wave certainly sees way more of them than I do. (I think it is the same in m/f romance with the rise of self publishing – there is a lot of chaff out there but still many great books are being published as well.)
There are some excellent m/m books around and I’m only too happy to promote them. But if I only write positive reviews, I wouldn’t expect anyone to trust my opinion – my own trust for reviewers is based not only on what they like, but on what they do not and that they tell me what that is. Then I can make up my own mind. Positive only reviews are not helpful to me as a reader.
I certainly agree that an author, when responding to a rude email from a reader, should either ignore it or politely respond. That is good business and “badly behaving authors” will lose more sales than a negative review ever will, in my opinion.
That’s my take anyway. 🙂
I must not have expressed myself clearly if you got the impression that I was in favor of authors being coddled or their precious feelings having to be taken into consideration. I think a professional author has to realize that, with publication, he or she is releasing his work into the world and has to accept what good/bad or indifferent might come from that action. It’s part of the job and once you publish, that work no longer belongs to you, it belongs to you and the readers–the world at large, who may not see your baby the same way you did.
When I said “walk on by” I was referring more to works that are beyond help. For example, I remember one production I reviewed as a theater critic in Chicago that was so horrendous it was laughable. It, in my opinion, did not have one redeeming quality. Now, I could have gone home and written out a review that pointed out its numerous flaws and hailed it as one of the worst theatrical productions I’d ever laid eyes on, but I didn’t. Why? Because I had nothing good to say and I knew that my silence would say just as much, if not more, than a bad review. I don’t think that was coddling; I think it was kind. Interestingly enough, no one else in town reviewed that show either.
I agree completely with what you said at the end of your commentary:
“But sometimes I have to say that a story was badly written or even well written but didn’t move me at all. The readers know that it’s only one reviewer’s opinion. They might be inclined to buy the book anyway because they like the story elements that come across in the review or blurb, or their taste runs opposite to mine. As reviewers, we owe it to the readers to make a truthful, impartial judgment on the book.”
But I would add that as a reviewer, you owe a reader a reason for why you think the story was “badly written” or what about the characters or the plot “didn’t move you at all.” If you’re putting yourself out there as a reviewer, I think you owe your readers some support for your opinions. That’s all I was saying, not that you should coddle an author or worry about his feelings.
My point, in a nutshell, was that people should always take into consideration how powerful words can be–and use them accordingly.
Thanks for your insights.
On second thought, I can see that you were merely suggesting to act with kindness and empathy in general. The “whiny authors” stereotype is a sore point for me, and this phrase even if that output was utter garbage. It was still someone’s baby triggered the issue for me.
What you say here:
I totally agree. A reviewer should always give supporting evidence from the text –in respect for the readers who need the information, and the authors who might find the detailed feedback useful.
Thank you, Rick. This needed to be said, and you said it beautifully.
It seems to me that most of the time, when an Internet exchange has degenerated into a caged monkeys’ feces-flinging fest, it has been the result of a few people taking a more or less neutral statement of negative opinion as a personal attack; passive-aggressive escalation on the part of the overly sensitive that leads to a short-term firestorm of abuse.
When it comes to criticism, I’ve adopted Andy Warhol’s philosophy:
“Don’t pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.”
For the internet age, I’ve converted it to pixels.
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” – Oscar Wilde
Thank you, Rick, for writing such a well-thought out and reasoned post here today. The kinds of events that you mentioned are upsetting to a lot of people, and I think it would be wise if most of us took the time to think before posting when we have strong feelings about a situation.
Unfortunately, the ease of clicking a button (as well as the relative anonymity of the action) means that a lot of people hit send before they’ve thought how their comments will appear–whether they are the people in charge of disseminating information about an event, the people responding to that information, or people leaving reviews and author’s reactions to those reviews as well. I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve been guilty of responding as a result of being upset myself on occasion, though I am learning to draft a response, sit on it for 24 hours, and review it (usually toning it down) before sending anything. Most of the time, that seems to work. Failures on my part usually stem from being too busy to be that deliberate in my actions! But I’m learning… 🙂
Thank you for your well reasoned post, Rick. You bring up many points that I’ve thought about a lot recently.
As for the GRL debacle. Every change was made for the betterment of the conference. I hope the unfortunate wording didn’t turn people away.
Thank you for this, Rick, on several levels. Although I use what may be construed as a gender neutral name (depending on your upbringing) I have never hidden my femaleness. Neither should we feel the need to. Those days should have been put to bed long ago after women began winning Hugos and Nebulas for their (gasp!) Science Fiction.
However, there are those who wish to maintain their private lives as just that – private. Life on the web has, indeed, made us forget so many common courtesies and, yes, the anonymity often gives people the impression that they now have a license to be cruel.
On the subject of fiction’s decline – there is something to be said there, but to single out the M/M genre is putting on blinders. With the changing market and traditional publishers scrambling to catch up, quantity and speed have too often replaced careful writing and publication. But as Jamie and several others have said, does this mean there are fewer quality works, fewer quality authors? No, it means there is so much more out there now than we could ever have dreamed possible ten years ago. We need tools and sites and reviewers to help us choose what appeals to us as readers in all this madness – but a critical review, a useful review, is one that is well-spoken and civil. I have always received that here, even when the reviewer was not entirely on board with the story.
Viva la revolución
Bravo, Angel. I agree 100%. 😀
Rick, you are awesome. I love how you promote love and kindness. Many people can learn from you. Best wishes to you, dear!
As a reader and consumer, I appreciate negative, or more accurately, critical reviews. With ease of self- and internet-publishing, I have seen a lot of misspelled, poorly-written, horribly-edited crap foisted upon the book-buying public, frequently at relatively high price point. I love reading. I support authors. And I have never returned a book based on content, even if I could not get past the first chapter. But in my view, many M/M books suffer from grade inflation. It is getting harder to tell the real 5-star reads from the books that have been graded on a very steep curve. I used to read an M/M book a day, but then I got tired of being suckered into buying poorly-written books that had received only positive reviews. It has made me reluctant to try new M/M authors (and I think discovering a new, favorite author is one of the great joys in life).
One the other hand, critical reviews can help me figure out if I willing to take the risk on an author or book that I am not sure of. Bad grammar? Nope. Using words in ways not sanctioned by Mr. Webster? Nope. Too many cliches or flat, moronic characters? Nope and nope. But a glorious failure with a unique voice and fascinating characters? Of course–even if it is has relatively poor reviews. I just adjust my expectations accordingly.
If reviewers and readers moderate their negative impressions, an overly positive impression is given–which leaves the reader disappointed in that book and, over time, the genre. Although I think it is important to be kind and civil, the greatest gift you can give to a writer (or any other professional, for that matter) is to not pull your punches if you think his or her work is sub par–preferably in a positive and constructive way. Otherwise, you are not giving them the opportunity to course correct (provided that the author believes your criticism is valid, of course). In addition, writing–at heart–is a form of communication–a dialogue, if you will. And if a significant portion of your readers completely missed what you were trying to say, gave you one-star reviews, or felt inspired to warn other readers not to spend their hard-earned money on your book, then you have received very valuable feedback, even if you vehemently disagree with it. Otherwise, write fan fiction or only sell the books to like-minded friends or relatives. Or don’t read reviews. But if you are going to yourself out there, put yourself out there. And let the reviews come as they may.
I’ve gotten the impression from some of you that my blog advocates never posting a bad review. That was not my intention at all. Bad reviews have their place–mainly as a warning to the buying public, with the secondary value as a possible learning experience for an author (if he/she can approach without defensiveness and with an open mind, which I know is not always easy). What I was saying is that bad reviews, in my opinion, should have support–textual examples to back up criticism, so that readers can see that the criticism is warranted. This is where I think common courtesy can come in. Even a very negative review can be kind and well-intentioned.
I also never meant to imply that reviews were for authors. They’re not. They’re for readers, especially on forums like Goodreads.
So, I was not advocating not writing bad reviews. I was advocating kindness and thoughtfulness, which does not equate to “coddling” or “pulling punches.”
I am always in favor of kindness and I usually do not like snarking at all, and I am always trying to support my criticism, so in that I do not disagree :).
Hi Rick! Thanks so much for the article. I’ve thought about this myself quite a bit. Every so often I will get a threatening letter from a reader who wants me to do something or other. Mostly they want me to force Ginn Hale to write a sequel to Wicked Gentlemen or somehow change how the Kindle ereader functions. But there are lots of different demands. Basically they say something like, “Do this or I won’t ever buy one of your books again,” or “Do this or I will go on Goodreads and give one star reviews to everything you do.”
I still can’t quite wrap my head around how threatening me is supposed to be motivational. But let’s say that it was. The fact remains that most of the demands are impossible to comply with. I have no input on the design of the Kindle. And neither I nor any editor can really force any author to do anything and expect to have a good product at the end. (I know… I’ve tried, alas…)
I’ve tried to figure out the rationale behind these weird threats but have never managed to form a theory. It’s all part of the general rudeness that you describe, I think. Somehow the barrier meant to separate the mean little thoughts that one keeps to one’s self from public statements we make to be enshrined for all eternity online has thinned and perforated. Or maybe it’s just that we don’t have to look each other in the eye when we say crappy stuff anymore. 🙂
You get threats like that? Seriously?
Great article, Rick 🙂
I love getting constructive reviews with my low star ratings. If not a constructive review, then at least a good explanation. It helps both myself and readers to see if the book overall sucked or if there was some element of the book that just didn’t sit well with the reader and ruined the whole experience for him/her. Other possible readers can then assess if they mind that element or not.
As for authors within the same “genre” (and authors in general), they should work together and not tear each other apart. No one gains from working against one another. Yes, it’s disappointing that there were only x-many spots available – spots that sold out in less than 6 minutes – but it was no reason to go out on a witch hunt. I felt very, very bad for the organizers (people I’ve come to care about!). They’ve been nothing but nice and encouraging. I wasn’t online when it hit the fan, so I didn’t see the whole mess until after things had settled a bit. I just hope Ethan, Damon and the rest will be okay about organizing next year, though it wouldn’t surprise me if they didn’t feel up to it after what happened this year.
Bad vs. good books: There have been a LOT of new M/M authors over the past few years. I’m one of them. Most new authors hope that their debut will be a masterpiece, and since authors aren’t the best judges of their own works they often believe that their work is ready for publication, out of sheer inexperience, when it may not be (here’s where publishers step in). Most don’t write a debut masterpiece (unless you’re T.J. Klune) and they realize this after a number of feedback and reviews. So, like all artists, they’ll have to improve by polishing and honing their craft and the only way to do that is to read, learn, and write, write, write. I realize that it’s frustrating to spend money on a book that didn’t live up to expectation (it’s happened to me on many, many occasions), but with time, most authors will improve while those who aren’t selling because of continuous lack of quality will drop out, so even though their works may not be five star today, their future works might be.
I may be an optimist, but I believe that things get better 😉
I told a friend yesterday that I hated when people decide whether or not to read a book based on a bad review. As I’ve always believed, 100 of us can read the same book but all 100 of us read something different. The one star review that slammed the book was not even accurate…and it made me really upset to see all the comments saying “thank you for warning me”, “I will remove this book from my to-read list”, etc… The fact that I gave the book 5 stars myself made me so sad that others gave up on something great based on someone elses narrow view.
I agree with you Rick that there’s sometimes a lack of civility when we write online because we’re all so anonymous. I also understand what you mean about courteous reviews. I’ve seen people on Goodreads give 1 star reviews before the book’s even published. Then later they write a review stating they knew the author’s style of writing was horrible and was expecting their newest book to be horrible, and surprise, surprise they found it horrible. I find it weird that these people actually stalk authors & books they know they’re going to hate.
I try to be thoughtful & honest with my reviews. If I don’t like a book I’ll write a review on the reasons why. But I want to read those reviews from the people who dislike a book. I tend to look at the lower ratings review before purchasing just to see what’s the worse things being said about it.
As for the quality of m/m romance books going down, it’s hard for me to judge. I’m choosy in my books and usually wait for quite a few reviews from reliable sources before purchasing so I’m satisfied most of the time with the quality of the books. I purchase current and also books that’s been out for a while. I do feel like Rick, that it’s more a glut of new writers & books rather than a cut in quality. But I can see how a review site that has to actually read all those new titles written by unknown writers would feel like they’re overwhelmed with the bad stuff.
Hi Mary, I understand where you are coming from but I disagree. The examples I brought are just the ones that being brought up often. What about dress designer, jewelry maker? To me those are also art. What about imagining restaurant chef telling the critic to write about the food she/he considered awful carefully because it may hurt chef’s feelings? I, as I am sure many others, cannot imagine my life without books, but if I am forced to make a choice to survive, I am pretty sure I will choose food (or water, or whatever other necessities).
I guess to me art is a hard work, which surely requires creative talent, but so many professions to me require talent – mathematician, doctor, dancer, restaurant chef, anything that person can do with their hands IMO also requires talent. But since we are paying money for all of that, all those products and services, I do not see why in the case of the books and their creators, I should choose my words more carefully if the authors feel that critiquing their book is the same as critiquing them. I never try and never want to hurt anybody’s feelings, but I also do not want to censor myself when I talk about the book, not the author. That’s my personal opinion.
Note, I am not talking about something like “You author is a terrible person because you wrote about such and such”. This to me is surely off limits.
Hi Sirius
I’m only addressing the toaster/tv =book comment. I never thought of equating those. I think I’m unbiased because I’m not an author. I see them all as products to buy and that we expect quality from all products. The similarity for me ends there. My hubby’s company has benchmarks where a 98% accuracy rate, while not ideal, is acceptable. Can you imagine a 2% error rate on a 50k word book? That’s 1000 errors! It can take months to write a first draft and get the book on the shelf with a myriad of steps in between. It doesn’t take months for toaster even starting with R & D. If a consumer hates that toaster, neither the designer nor the assembly person in Asia is going to hear about it – just the customer service lackey. And the toaster company, part of some multinational billion dollar company is not going to mourn the loss of your $30.00 toaster money that you’re now going to take to toaster company #2. Not so the writer, who I picture like a dear in the headlights standing vulnerable while people take pot shots at the missed edits, the crappy cover they didn’t choose, all because the writer’s name is on the cover. I can live without my TV or toaster much easier than my books. I just wanted to say that I like to think that art as a commodity is more precious than the commodity of nuts & bolts.
Sorry my phone died at edit time. It’s “deer” in the headlights. Missed edits , crappy cover (beyond the story and the writing)…
Thank you for bringing up such a difficult subject, Rick, and discussing good manners with such charm! I was just about to return an email to the person at work who forgot to send an expense check this month, for the second month. Your point is that good manners matter, and have consequences we may not understand, (rock, pond, ripple). The gift that writers have, and the gift we should spread across the world like blackberry jam on warm toast, is empathy. Before we send a snarky email or flip a middle finger at the car that cut us off (I have been guilty of both today, I’m afraid, as well as some bad words) we could bring the empathy we save up for writing to the rest of our lives, and the people who sometimes wander across our paths ( just when our paths turn into our warpaths!). Empathy, kindness, good manners. Be Melanie, not Scarlett! Hugs, Rick. You’re a good guy!
I’m late to the party (as usual) but just wanted to say thanks for your post, Rick. Thinking is a good thing. 🙂
I always hold my breath when I have a new review out (whether from a reader or someone on a review site), even though my skin’s already pretty thick from writing in other genres. Some of my favorites have been 2 or 3 star reviews with a bit on the “why” (which I did listen to and learn from).