My friends, Lynne and Paul, live in Boston and had the opportunity to hear Judy Shepard speak last month at the Newton Free Library in Newton, Massachusetts. It was her first appearance in a scheduled two month long book tour. I asked them to drop by and take a few minutes to answer some questions for the folks here at jessewave’s site who are interested in what she had to say. Thank you for joining us.
Leslie: Let’s get started. Tell me a little about Judy Shepard. What was she like?
Paul: Judy was awesome: petite, casually dressed, soft-spoken, and very open. Rather than give some long talk, she talked in a conversational manner about the making of the book, wanting to allow for many questions. No tears, no drama; just a woman on a mission!
Lynne: I was struck by Judy’s physicality—she’s actually a small person in stature—and I found it impossible not to contrast this favorably with all she has accomplished since Matthew’s death. By the end of the session, she represented ‘Mom’ to me—mine, yours, anyone’s mother—who through no fault of her own was thrust into a role that I’m sure she did not welcome, but shouldered admirably because that’s what a mother would do.
Leslie: Were others members of her family—son, Logan, husband, Dennis—with her?
Lynne: Not to my knowledge—if Logan or Dennis were there, they were not introduced. She did relate a story about how her son Logan came to be involved with the foundation. I’m paraphrasing, but essentially LGBTQ college friends of Logan had a heart-to-heart talk with him, stressing how much difference the Matthew Shepard foundation had made in their own lives. Eventually, he recalled this and decided to work for the foundation.
Paul: She did mention that Dennis just took a job in Australia.
Leslie: How many people were in the audience?
Lynne: My best guess is that 75-100 people attended.
Paul: I’d agree, about 100.
Leslie: Sounds like a pretty good turnout for a weeknight. Next question: it’s been eleven years since Matthew was murdered and this is the first time she has spoken out in book form. Did she talk about why it has taken this long?
Lynne: The Meaning of Matthew was three years in the works so I doubt it was an easy book to write. My understanding is that they felt that this was a good time to publish a book about Matthew that would create a distinction between her son, privately Matt, and the iconic figure that Matthew has come to mean to so many in the LGBTQ community since his death. Also, the editor-in-chief from The Advocate magazine, who has become a very good friend of hers, was available to assist with The Meaning of Matthew at this time. It was important for her to work with someone she trusted.
There are other ideas for books, including one that would publish a selection of the letters and cards Matthew and the Shepard family received from here and around the world during and after the time of his death.
Leslie: Does she reveal anything in the book that was not publicly known before?
Lynne: I am not very familiar with what is or is not public knowledge, but we did learn that the photo of Matt for the book’s cover had never before been released. It was taken by a high school friend at Alcatraz when the two of them were vacationing in San Francisco in early 1998. Evidently, many of the black and white photos on the websites came from this trip. Judy indicated that she deliberately held this particular photo back for a long while because she believes it captures so much of Matt’s essence, particularly in the eyes.
Leslie: Tell us about the Matthew Shepard Act.
Lynne: The Matthew Shepard Act is a bill to expand the existing federal hate crime law to include crimes committed based on gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability. The new law would give federal authorities more latitude in prosecuting cases that local authorities do not pursue; provide funding for investigating and prosecuting hate crimes; and require the FBI to keep statistics for sexual minority groups that are not already being monitored.
The bill passed the House on October 8th, 2009 and is expected to pass the Senate next week. President Obama has said he would sign the legislation. Judy encouraged everyone to write and/or call their representatives in Congress to support the Matthew Shepard Act.
Leslie: Has she ever been to the location where Matthew was attacked? What is there now?
Lynne: Judy told us that the fence to which Matthew was tied and left for dead has been dismantled and reintegrated into fences on other locations on the property, which has since changed owners. I do not know if she ever visited the site, but she did say that she feels no need to go—that Matt isn’t there.
Paul: Good question. Judy noted that the land has been sold, and the current owner had removed the fence. She specifically said that Matt is not there, and she has no desire to go there.
Leslie: Since she was presenting in Massachusetts, a state where same-sex marriage is legal, did she talk about that—about what is going on in this country, referenda and so on?
Paul: She certainly reminded us how lucky we are here in Massachusetts!
Lynne: I had the sense that while Judy is very pleased with some of the progress that has been made, she is also disappointed that change has not come faster.
She noted that great strides have been made in some areas, citing the entertainment industry and the popularity of Ellen Degeneres’ show as an example of mainstream acceptance. However, the Matthew Shepard Act was first introduced in 2001. After many false starts and a couple of near misses, now, eight years later, it looks like it is finally going to become law, which is good, but it took a long time.
Other ambivalent messages include the fact that Wyoming is still one of five states that does not have hate crime legislation. However, a measure for Wyoming to deny recognition of same-sex marriages performed in other states was soundly defeated by a conservative Republican legislature. Society seems to be very much in a state of flux on these issues.
Leslie: I know that Matt came out to his parents when he was 18; I just read an article in the New York Times about children coming out at much younger ages, such as 12 and 13. Did she talk about that?
Paul: Yes, she said about Matt, that “a mother knows.” I recall her quoting a statistic that the average age of homeless gay youth had decreased from 19 to 14.
Lynne: Judy mentioned that children coming out at earlier ages may present a unique and heretofore unaddressed set of problems when the parents or guardians reject the child. In addition to not having his or her emotional needs met, there are practical concerns that the child must have housing and remain in school. Ideally, extended family members may step in and assist, but it’s a problem that was not really seen in any numbers by social services a decade ago when people came out in their late teens and early twenties.
Leslie: Anything else to add?
Paul: Judy noted how shy she used to be. Now, she says she’ll answer practically anything. She was very warm and personable, both at the podium and at the signing table.
Lynne: I do not claim to know anything about running a non-profit agency, but I was astounded that the Matthew Shepard Foundation has a budget of only about $700,000 USD per year. There are five and a half people employed by the foundation. When you consider how much travel and outreach the Foundation does, I don’t see how they manage it. It made me realize that my periodic purchases of purple bracelets does not go very far. They’re doing very important work on what I think most anyone would consider shoestring. Donate. Then donate more if you are able.
Paul: Yes, she stressed how small an organization it is. They’re looking for donations!
Leslie: So I guess that requires a link to donate if anyone is so inclined. You can connect to the Matthew Shepard Foundation by clicking here.
Lynne and Paul, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to answer my questions! I appreciate your support. To everyone, my review of The Meaning of Matthew is also posted today on the site. I encourage folks to read this important book.
If anyone has questions or comments, please leave them below. I’d like to keep this interesting conversation going.
Leslie
What a great interview. It really gives an impression of Judy’s personality and also what’s being done to change the laws around hate crimes.
**
I hope that the readers will check out the foundation’s website and contribute to this worthy cause.
**
I also hope you will update us about whether the Matthew Shepard Act is passed in the Senate this week. That would be such a tremendous achievement for minorities in terms of giving law enforcement more authority in prosecuting the perpetrators of hate crimes in the US.
Thanks, Wave. This past Saturday evening, President Obama spoke at the Human Rights Campaign dinner in Washington, DC. Here’s the part of his speech that had to do with the Matthew Shepard Act:
*
And there’s no more poignant or painful reminder of how important it is that we do so than the loss experienced by Dennis and Judy Shepard, whose son Matthew was stolen in a terrible act of violence 11 years ago. In May, I met with Judy — who’s here tonight with her husband — I met her in the Oval Office, and I promised her that we were going to pass an inclusive hate crimes bill — a bill named for her son. (Applause.)
*
This struggle has been long. Time and again we faced opposition. Time and again, the measure was defeated or delayed. But the Shepards never gave up. (Applause.) They turned tragedy into an unshakeable commitment. (Applause.) Countless activists and organizers never gave up. You held vigils, you spoke out, year after year, Congress after Congress. The House passed the bill again this week. (Applause.) And I can announce that after more than a decade, this bill is set to pass and I will sign it into law. (Applause.)
*
It’s a testament to the decade-long struggle of Judy and Dennis, who tonight will receive a tribute named for somebody who inspired so many of us — named for Senator Ted Kennedy, who fought tirelessly for this legislation. (Applause.) And it’s a testament to the Human Rights Campaign and those who organized and advocated. And it’s a testament to Matthew and to others who’ve been the victims of attacks not just meant to break bones, but to break spirits — not meant just to inflict harm, but to instill fear. Together, we will have moved closer to that day when no one has to be afraid to be gay in America. (Applause.) When no one has to fear walking down the street holding the hand of the person they love. (Applause.)
*
So…it would appear that very very soon this will become the law of the land. I’ll keep you posted.
*
L
It shocks me that it’s been so long since this happened. I still remember being in uni, doing teaching rounds and buying the Time magazine with the fence on the cover, reading it on the train and having to really stop myself from crying. Matthew’s story represents so much, and means so much, to people everywhere. Hopefully we may finally get a little bit of resolution in his name soon.
Great interview, as a parent I just can’t imagine having to cope with that, I can’t imagine someone hating my child enough to kill them. It breaks your heart. I hope the legislation passes.
Great interview. I just ordered my copy of the book.
*
“I recall her quoting a statistic that the average age of homeless gay youth had decreased from 19 to 14.”
I don’t understand how parents can turn their back from their own kids.
That is one courageous, courageous woman. I hope the legislation will pass. I don’t live in the U.S. but our world needs every bill which improves human rights. Great interview.
Thanks for the terrific book review, Leslie. I appreciate that you included me in your interview; it was an honor to participate.
-Lynne
Thanks for dropping by, Lynne! It was fun doing this interview. I just wish I could have joined you and Paul. Hopefully we can get together for another event sometime soon.
*
Meanwhile, a 49 year old gay man was brutally attacked in Queens, NY when he went into a deli to buy cigarettes. He is in a medically induced coma with a fractured jaw, fractured ribs and other internal injuries. His two attackers have been apprehended. Sigh…we still have a long way to go.
*
L