When I invited Clare London to write a post in our Ins and Outs series to help other M/M authors, I had no idea the guilt I would feel when I read it, that I dared ask her to take time out of her very busy schedule. She’s Superwoman, like many of you, and it boggles my mind that
with all of her responsibilities she still manages to produce those wonderful stories that are either gripping and tension filled, (72 Hours) or funny as hell (What Not to Wear) and a host of other well crafted books with characters you just want to hug.
This post is a lesson to not just writers, but all of us whose days are so crammed with all the jobs we have to juggle that we forget what life is all about. I know I learned a lot when I read the post and I intend to take Clare’s advice. Here’s her post –
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Hi all. This post is my viewpoint on juggling. Not with clubs or fire, though by God, it feels like it sometimes, but with everything in life: work, home, family and writing. I was kindly invited by Jessewave to post on this last month but…guess what? I dropped the spinning plates of life and couldn’t manage the time. A perfect example of how NOT to juggle, right? Or maybe a recognition of reality.
Many of us feel passionately about our writing, but not many of us can afford to do it full-time. So we start our writing career as a second job, running it alongside the jobs we already have, inside or outside the home, paid or unpaid, for corporation or kin. And reassuring ourselves that we can handle it, that our inspiration and love for fiction lends speed to our fingers and stamina to our waking hours. The stories start to flow, the wonder and reward of publication carries us ever onward, and so the juggling starts in a spirit of enthusiasm and confidence. We CAN have it all! we cry.
*wipes brow*
In Dec 2007 I was a full-time working accountant with two strapping sons of 13 and 18, a husband settling into a drastic career change, a mother with serious physical problems, a house constantly full of hungry teenagers, a pretty poor performance record on housework, and a psychotic goldfish.
Well, in Jan 2008 I was the same person but I’d taken on another job, publishing! And while I was still up on Cloud 9 with excitement at my first contract – and glamorous visions of BEING ON AMAZON – I hadn’t really thought anything through beyond that. What’s more, I don’t remember anyone offering me a gang of nubile young slaves to help out, or at the very least a couple of extra pairs of hands.
And I was going to need them.
Believe me, I’d never had trouble finding time to write. It was the publishing that added that extra dimension – and potential stress. No longer was it just “writing” (or “your tapping away” as my family used to say, less than fondly). Now it encompassed professional submission, external edits, deadlines, promotion, industry awareness and a launch into the Community(ies) of Fellow Authors.
Where was that “never had trouble finding time”?
How many times have we heard about the work/life balance? Whatever you add to one side, it’ll tip over unless you make adjustment. Most of us need good health and happy family/friends more than we need royalties *yeahcough*. But we have the opportunity to make something for ourselves, to let loose the stories inside, to share the fun and – yes, we like this too – to get recognized for it.
So the question is…HOW?
This is a lighthearted post, but with a thread of serious consideration underneath it. I’ll tell you how I try to keep everything going, you can roll your eyes, then both of us may pull a few tidbits of useful strategy from the whole thing.
And so, ladies and gentlemen of Jessewave’s big top, what do you need for juggling?
Yes, you got it. B.A.L.L.S.
BRAVERY
You’re going to do it. You WILL do it.
When things get tough, remember – you took this step. You wanted it. Remember why! You love to write and you’re determined to get better at it. It means the world to you. It’s fun (most of the time). You’ve met great friends. You’ve read shit-hot fiction. You written some of it, too.
Hold that thought! YOU are in control of what you do.
And if/when it gets too much?
Read one of your favourite books, that maybe inspired you to write yourself. Remember what a joy and a reward it is to be an author and able to communicate that way.
Then read one of the WORST books you ever misguidedly bought…and reassure yourself you can do waaay better :).
ATTITUDE
Time to be brutally honest. Know how you are: how you work. Make your personality – and your Muse! – work for you, not the other way around.
Can’t write when you’re over-tired, upset or pissed off? (that’s me) So don’t. At those times, step away. It’ll be counterproductive, because what you DO write will likely be poor. And when you recover and go back to it, you’ll make up for that fallow time.
Can’t self-edit? Find someone else who can see your work more clearly (and BTW, listen to their feedback).
Can’t resist new projects? (good god, the confessional’s working well for me today…). PRACTISE saying NO!
Try to measure what resources you have, both actual and emotional. If everything you do just leads you back to the ‘overtired’ place…recognize that spiral and break the pattern.
I’m terrible for attention splat – easily distracted by the net, by website widgets, by pencilboards for sale. I’ve learned I have to cut myself off if I’m under pressure to get something done. My Muse is a demanding soul.
Think about what you’re really after. A career? A fun hobby? A way to reach out to others? International fame and riches? (cough) Are you in publishing for the long haul or more of a dabble? (answers on a postcard, please). And then enjoy it for what it is. Don’t chase after other people’s ambitions. They’re not you, they don’t live your life, they write their own way. There’s space on the bookshelf for it all.
LOGISTICS
Make things easy for yourself, as much as possible. Everything’s great when the words are flowing so fast they spill from your fingers. It’s a different thing when you realize you’ve lost your hero’s motivation, the edits are more evisceration than enhancement, and you still don’t know what happened to the letter in chapter 6. Then this writing thing is bloody hard work – and you don’t need additional barriers.
We all know how that brilliant idea arrives when you least expect – in the bath, on the train, half way through that call to mother in law.
So be ready!
Carry a pad and pen in your bag / pocket / whatever at all times. Keep one beside the bed. In the car. By the phone. In the bathroom, for God’s sake. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may. I carry a sheet of paper in my jeans pocket at all times, covered in largely illegible scribbles that may one day constitute The Great Modern Novel (and next week’s shopping).
When do you write? Juggling means you have to prioritise, you have to choose. You can’t write all the time – though I’m still buying the lottery ticket – but listen to your internal clock. I can’t always write from a standing start just because everyone’s gone out for an hour *grrr*. But I can make the most of going into work early and having a blessed free hour before everyone else arrives and the phones start ringing. Choose those good times to follow your plot ideas, to re-read work, to plot through tricky re-writes in peace. Then use the nibbles of time for short term stuff. I use my lunch hours to update the website, write my emails, buy books (lots!), catch up on loops etc.
Working around a busy household? *rolls eyes*
I work on the edge of the dining room table. We call it ClareSpace. My laptop has to share with table mats, a constantly-growing pile of family bills, discarded cola cans, camping gear on its way to or from the loft, and the psychotic goldfish in the tank at my elbow.
BUT…it’s separation of a sort.
Find YOUR space if you can, however small. Your mind will hopefully register you’re moving into author mode whenever you go there.
Managing that promo? (or not?)
Take an hour or so to set things up in advance for yourself. I have a set format for excerpts, a standard signature. An intro post, my bio etc etc. Make it non-specific for time, fashion, latest releases etc, then updating is minimal. Embrace shortcuts. Copy Paste is your friend.
I keep all the promo in a specified file on my computer so I can find them quickly. I keep a copy on my memory stick as well, so I can post at lunch time at work – especially useful if you’re in a different timezone from the forums you’re posting in.
If you see someone’s post that looks great – borrow the format for your own! Don’t re-invent the wheel every time. Life’s too darned short.
Social networking? Gawd. Feels like you’re spread thinner than margarine sometimes, right?
Consider setting your networking base in one place, then just dip in elsewhere. Make it somewhere you feel comfortable, because you don’t want to waste precious time girding your loins to face your horror of posting on a Wall, fighting html or keeping your flowing wit to 140 characters.
Believe me, you’ll still keep in touch where it matters. I concentrate mainly on my blog, but I’ve set it up to link public posts through to Facebook, Goodreads, MySpace, Twitter and Amazon. God, the occasional times when technology works for me are to be treasured…
Can’t face all the Yahoo Groups? Follow the minimum of ones you should – your publishers, your best friend’s – then put the others on Digest (at the least) and drop into the others at a specified time of your choosing. Be regular, but don’t be slavish. See if you can find a friend you can share an Alert Status with – i.e. they can tell you if a chat’s coming up you should attend, and you can let them know the latest submissions calls (thanks Chrissy!).
Last Christmas’s present for me? Hubby got me a pair of ear defenders to block out the noise of Call of Duty and the washing machine when I’m in the middle of edits. Bless him .:)
LIMBER UP
Time. Ah yes. The elusive Pimpernel of modern life.
Unless you have large stretches of time to manage – which is a different skill entirely – you have to make the most of what’s left after everything else.
Be flexible. You’ll have it forced on you anyway.
Think how long you need to finish that short story for submission next month – then multiply it by three. I kid you not. Face reality. I call it the “coffee PLUS” time. Stop for coffee by all means, but then you find you also have to stop for the washing, the emergency call from MIL, the broken fridge, the scraped knee syndrome, the temporary power cut, running out of milk, the lost travel card, the goldfish floating perilously near the top of the tank… And if my family’s anything to go by, their support will wax and wane according to whose turn it is to make supper.
Learn words like “negotiation” and “compromise”. Maybe resist a couple of submission calls – there’ll be others. (Clare shudders)
SENSE OF HUMOUR
‘Nuff said.
Seriously, I’ve found if I push too hard, it’ll show in my hair colour, my nerves – and my work.
Don’t beat yourself up if you fall behind whatever you hoped to get done (remember, Coffee Plus Time…). Look at what you did achieve, not what you didn’t. And it’ll be impressive to many people.
Lay off the stick, too. For example, we all need motivation, but I gave up setting myself a daily word count I was pretty sure to miss when Budget time came around at work. Find what genuinely works for you.
I write most days but I stop if it’s starting to feel like a chore. Better to enjoy a schedule of one day at the weekend, a couple of nights in the week. Which is what I (should) do.
And instead of the stick, dangle some carrots in front of your nose!
Stop writing and go and watch a Bill & Ted movie. Listen to music, make something, cook, exercise, surf outrageous poster art websites. Laugh at jokes, read a book. I do all that myself (apart from the cooking). And I feed the goldfish. Apart from the fact you need external interaction to inspire your future fiction, haven’t you earned it?
I also follow some blogs that never fail to give me something to think about. For example – and by no means all – inspiration at Christine Kane, constructive help at Jordan Castillo Price’s Packing Heat, the motivational tips at Shrinking Violet Promotions, the entertaining and accessible reporting at Nathan Bransford’s. I love to read review sites, other authors’ blogs, what’s happening in the industry. Oh, and watch daft clips on YouTube :).
What works for you? Do you have any other good suggestions for sites that help you battle onward to your best?
Remember what really matters. Seriously, I’m hopefully not being twee, but stop regularly and remember it. Bank the “wow” moments, you’ll need them. Watch the balance of what you want to achieve with what you can achieve, with what you’ve got.
Then turn all the trauma into your next book!
And surely I’m not the only person who sends the occasional text message while she’s in the bathroom because otherwise it seems such an appalling waste of time…? OK, so TMI right there :).
What do you mean, Wave, there’s another matinee at 4? Back to spinning those plates.
Clare London’s Contact Information
Website: http://www.clarelondon.co.uk
Blog: http://clarelondon.livejournal.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/clarelondon
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/clarelondon
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/clare_london
Good Reads: http://www.goodreads.com/clarelondon
GLBT Wiki: http://bookworld.editme.com/clarelondonbooks
Thanks for the great post, Clare. It’s heartening to be reminded that many others experience the same pressures on their time that I do. I’ll be taking that bit about sense of humor to heart.
Hi Libby. That’s all we can hope for, right?! LOL Though the smile on my face is pretty fixed some days :). Thanks for dropping in – and much success with the writing!
Clare, what a wonderful post! I confess I have less to juggle these days – or I should, though I all too often end up chasing my own tail. But there is an advantage to getting along in years, you can look folks right in the eye and say, “I’m pooped,” and there’s not much they can say back.
About that goldfish…
How lovely to see you, Victor. Of course, I rather think that if I had a free day, every day, I’d *still* fill it with drama :). But yes, sometimes it’s all about saying “I’m done.” Then sitting back to see if anyone takes any damned notice!
Unfortunately, I can’t post a picture here of my goldfish so you know he’s alive and well and not too traumatised by my Authorly Anguish. Though I’m not *entirely* sure whether he was psychotic before or after I moved into ClareSpace…
Clare, there’s something wonderfully reassuring about all those balls…er… PLATES that you’re juggling. It sounds like you live a rich and satisfying life. Your reference to not chasing other people’s ambitions really spoke to me. I find myself envious of prolific writers who manage to produce novel-length work several times a year. Oh to have even half of their verbiage! But then I try to remember that I’m only responsible for the story I want to tell, and I have to tell it my way, you know? *hugs*
Hi Janey :). You see? I couldn’t even juggle enough time to get back to the comments before now LOL.
I love your phrase – “I’m only responsible for the story I want to tell.” That’s so true, and so important to do well, for everyone’s benefit.
I just feel writing should sometimes be a *wonderfully* selfish occupation, as well as a cruel mistress!
Thank you very much, Clare!
Yes writing is selfish. Isn’t that great? When writing I’m doing something just for me. I dare to enjoy this, sometimes with a pretty bad conscious, but this gets better, too.
Hi Feliz – that’s the joy of it, isn’t it?! You just go on enjoying it! 🙂
*G* Thanks for this, Clare! I still find it all a bit overwhelming, and that’s after I dropped housework except on weekends 🙂 But somehow it’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels like this.
Hi Alex. And haven’t we had a few of these ‘how to juggle’ conversations before??!!
I have the strap line on my fanfiction signature of “In your own time, at your own pace, as you want to, as you can.” A bit trite, but a friend wrote it to me once and I keep meaning to stick to it :).
Love your wit and truth, Clare. Now I just need to practice it.:) Thanks for the advice!
Great to see you Sloane, and congrats on the new release! You and I have also had plenty of ‘juggling’ conversations in the past :).
I think this is the whole point – trying to follow our own eminently sensible advice. But I hope that *recognising* it is at least a step in the right direction!
“And surely I’m not the only person who sends the occasional text message while she’s in the bathroom because otherwise it seems such an appalling waste of time…?”
LOL! I’m not sure if I go that far, but I do find myself wanting to scribble ideas in a notepad while watching telly with the husband. Drives him up the wall ;D
Great post, Clare. There’s definitely some food for thought here. I shall have to see if some of my writer friends want to share an Alert Status arrangement, because god knows, I can’t keep up with everything!
And seeing your workspace makes me feel better about the state of mine… 🙂
Hi Jo, great to see you :). I’ve shocked you with my appalling habits, haven’t I?! LMAO.
Yes, I think an Alert Network is a good idea, because otherwise we spend all that precious writing time trawling the net for diary events. I’d like publishers to send out reminders a day or so in advance if it’s a chat they arranged, but failing that, perhaps we need to set up some author-drums to remind each other. It can also work for pimping special offers and contests.
Wow, thanks Clare. I so needed to hear those wonderful words of advice. 🙂 Thoroughly enjoyed your post.
Thanks so much, Jessica! I hope it gives people some ideas – or at least gives them something to smile about :).
I think lots of authors all over the world are nodding their heads in agreement with this post, Clare!!
One would think quitting the day job makes it easier, but other than making appointments more painless to schedule, it strangely doesn’t. Work expands to fill whatever time you give it :-/
Hi Jordan – and thanks for giving me the suggestion of topic for today :). It’s something I must have blathered on about one too many times ^_~.
I think that’s the way of things – work DOES expand to fit the time. And personally, I suspect I’m a “full-house” person at the best of times. So maybe giving up work doesn’t give you 100% freedom with your time – but I suppose at least it cuts out the EDJ pressures :).
Thanks for dropping in.
Yes, Janey, the bit about not chasing others’ ambitions hit me too. I get envious of the volume of work other writers produce and then I have to remind myself, “Good grief, Victor, you’ve written enough for two lifetimes.” And I used to want the prizes, the awards, the cheers from the crowd, but today I’m content just to write a good story and hear nice comments from a reader or two. I’ve gotten much more tolerant of myself, too. If I don’t get anything written today, I am convinced the world will keep turning anyway. I’m writing far less than I did, but I like to think that what I write is maybe even better than before. I have to struggle with depression, and when it threatens to overwhelm me, I just turn away from all the gloom and doom, listen to some music, go for a walk, read a book (sometimes one of my own, and that cheers me up when I see I did something right.) It’s good to know that others struggle the same way I do. Bad news, though – it never gets easier, kids. You slough off a lot of garbage as you go along, but you get older, too, and just a bit wearier. I’m not too keen on the alternative, though.
Great post, Clare! Kudos for working on the dining table. I finally graduated to a cupboard I call my own 🙂
Hi Toni, thanks for the support :). I’d *love* a cupboard LOL. I blame the children of course – before they came along, I had the use of the 3rd bedroom (albeit it’s more of a 2.5th bedroom). Now I’ve surrendered all space to the Tribe in one form or another and I cling to my small island.
At least it means I don’t have to cook formal dinners for the family very often – we can’t sit them anywhere without moving all the electrical equipment LOL.
Great post, Clare. Very good advice here! 🙂
Thanks Val, good to see you. It won’t be everyone’s experience, I know, but it may ring a few bells in some corners. Or at the very least, give people a laugh :).
A marvelous piece, Claire. Time..time…time to do what we need and desire. But writing keeps us sane when the world gets to be a little too much. On the lighter side-tell us more about that goldfish.
Hi Elise, thanks for dropping in. Ah yes, Time is both friend and enemy :). But that’s a lovely way to look at writing, as keeping us sane.
Silver Surfer sends his regards – he’s the goldfish. Except he’s not – gold, that is. He gradually lost his colour, grew to twice his size and now stalks the tank beside me demanding food with menaces. Well, they would be menacing to other fish, maybe…
^_^
Great post, Clare! Good advice, too; I think the Attitude part of BALLS (heh) is something I need to take to heart more. I’m a little high strung anyway, so things go haywire when I start to feel the pressure to learn magic so I can add extra hours to the day.
Hi Kate. We could probably all work on the ‘attitude’ part :). But then, it’s our imagination and empathy that makes us writers in the first place. We just need to keep a rein on that on our own behalf ^_^.
And when you learn that magic, make sure to let us all know…:)
Not only is the post great, so are the comments it’s generating! *takes notes* 🙂
Hi Jessica, glad you’re enjoying it :).
Great advice Clare. I enjoyed your statement of “Don’t chase after other people’s ambitions. ” I think sometimes there seems to be this pressure when you see other authors releasing a new book a month or something amazing and authors think “OMG, I’m such a slacker, I must produce produe produce”. Not everyone has the liberty of writing full-time and I know sometimes it can be a blip when everything written over two years is suddenly released in six months. 🙂 Follow your own pace and as a reader, I’d rather read 4 books a year from an author that are really great than 12 that are kind of weak because there was a rush to submit simply to have volume.
Super job with great advice for seasoned authors AND those who think “maybe someday the fame and riches will be mine.” 😉
Thanks Tam, glad you enjoyed it!
It’s really difficult to cope with that feeling sometimes, I know, especially in this fast-growing area of fiction, where sometimes it seems everyone else is more visible and prolific than YOU/ME. But it really is true, that quantity isn’t any definite measure of quality. Also that you can only do what you can do. I know I’ve definitely exhausted myself over the last 6 months, and need a holiday!
(really looking forward to SF :))
Great post, Clare! This stuff’s been on my mind a lot lately.
I, too, find it a challenge to integrate writing into my everyday life. I used to just barrel through a project day after day until it was done – and then I’d have to take off a month or more because I was so burned out. Nowadays I try to work at a slightly slower pace, and I find I can segue right from one project into another.
Now if I could just find someone to do my housework for me… 🙂
Hi Cat. Yes, I used to be able to power through, but you’re right, eventually it catches up with you. Much better to find your pace and work with it rather than against it. Glad to hear you can segue the projects now, that gives me hope I may be able to manage it myself :).
And if I ever get my army of nubile slaves, I’ll see if they have a friend they can send over to you. If they’d iron as well, it’d be a dream come true…:)
You’ve written a spot-on post, Clare! I did wonder about the goldfish – I didn’t know they had enough personality to be psychotic.
I keep telling my husband that I need a wife. Oddly, he just laughs at me. I guess I’ll have to get some B.A.L.L.S.
Hi Wren! I know, I was always told that about goldfish too, that they lost their memory of the water temperature dropped etc. Well, my guy must be some throwback because he rules the roost here :). (mixed metaphors, I know, never mind *lol*).
Seriously, you’ve summed it up perfectly. We *all* need a wife. Then we could get so much done! 🙂
“surely I’m not the only person who sends the occasional text message while she’s in the bathroom because otherwise it seems such an appalling waste of time…”
You wouldn’t catch me doing that – and not just because there’s no mobile signal at my house! I will own up to taking books I’m reading for research in there though…
(and no, I don’t read in the bath)
Hi Tiggothy, good to see you! I’ve had to put a magazine stand in the bathroom for the family to read when they…visit :). (I am in a house of all men, remember…)
I’m afraid I read in the bath, too. Sat for ages the other night while the water got cold but I had to finish the book LOL.
Absolutely brilliant, Clare– and every word of it absolutely true!
Hi Amy, thanks for dropping in. It’s only my view, and just a few thoughts from this side of the coin – but it’s fun and encouraging if other people feel the same way :).
I hope Ava March stops in to share her writing space with you – it’s in the garage, under some shelves.
Like your spot, it makes writing seem a titch less glamorous than perhaps I envisioned. 🙂
It’s all glamor! Never think anything different! Cerubs are pooping diamonds onto the keyboard from above as we craft our masterpieces 😛
Glamor. Yeah. Riiiight. 🙂
Fab post, Clare, with some great advice on juggling.
Hey Chris! – it’s a lovely little spot under the cupboards. And the cars are very quiet. 🙂
Thanks Ava! And if you go into real estate for those cupboard spaces, I’m in the market…:)
Clare, I really enjoyed your interview. It’s fun and interesting getting to know the people behind the words! I recently finished reading your book “72 Hours” and between what you conveyed with your characters there, and your comments here, I think I can say you have a really good handle on life’s truths. Hope you get your holiday soon!
Another bath tub reader here. 🙂
Hi Dianne, thanks for the comment – and a really nice compliment about my writing! I must admit I like reading about authors too, and it’s always fun over here at Wave’s.
And *yay* for the bath tub readers club :).