It seems men have an unshakable fascination with the spherical or even semi-spherical orbs we call…balls. Think about it. What is the American pastime? Baseball. The winter sport of choice? Football. What do men spend an inordinate amount of time moving and scratching? Their nuts. Er, well, balls.
Yes, indeed, balls are probably in the top 5 thoughts of most straight men–after breasts, their own dicks, their own dicks near breasts, and–let’s face it–food-slash-beer. For gay men? Definitely higher on the priority list than breasts! I mean, fellas are willing to drop everything to go chase some teensy little dimpled ball around the back forty for the opportunity to repeatedly smack it senseless with a big hard rod. Wait. Was I talking about golf or baseball? Either way, it’s a gigantic Freudian wet dream. Don’t even get me started on men running around in the snow tackling other men in a game with no rhythm (straight guys–what’re ya gonna do?) trying to move the ball into the opponent’s “end zone.” Uh huh.
As a gay man, I have often wondered why my favorite sport doesn’t involve a ball at all. (Okay, maybe hockey is my favorite sport played clothed. ;)) Then I realized we gay men (and straight women) individually have more balls targeting our faces (take that as you will) than does an entire baseball team. Besides, have you seen the quality beefcake in the NHL? Whew!
(Exhibit #1 to the right, Mike Fisher, now of the Nashville Predators.)
What got me–er, I should say Wave–thinking about all this was Aunt Lynn. She was carefully measuring out 5.3 oz nut roll balls and mistakenly shared that information with the lovely Wave, who suddenly had to know the weight of a man’s balls. That’s right, my new boss put the idea of balls in my…uhm…still-current (whew!) boss’ head and that somehow translated into, “Let’s have Buda write about balls!!” (You see the twisted world we live in here?) Now I admit to having come in contact with a few balls of various shapes and sizes over the years (Definitely not more than my fair share. Who am I, Ethan Day?), so I gamely agreed to write something. Full disclosure: I am rubbish at golf (except the drinking), and having something as hard and unyielding as a baseball hurtling through the air at my face makes me want to scream for my Mommy (Okay, maybe Daddy). But I do enjoy playing and watching volleyball–though that serve is murder on a limp wrist!–and I loves me the hell out of rugby. Alas, I can’t play, but is there any sport sexier than that? Scrum. Enough said. (Exhibit #2, below: David Williams, of Australia’s Manly Sea Eagles.)
When Wave handed me this secret project a few months back, I knew it would require extensive, exhaustive and exhausting research. Since then I have racked (ooh–poor verb choice much?) my brain trying to come up with something interesting to say about balls. Finally, I decided to provide some information about a couple of different types and then let you lot comment about your favorites.
A BBC website tells an interesting story:
When a man in Ancient Rome was required to give an oath, he would cup his testicles with his hand as he spoke. It’s from this that we get the words testify, testimonial and testament.
Frankly, the threat of losing my boys is more than enough to convince me to tell the truth! Yikes. (I bet you’ll never use those words again without a picture of gently cupped nuts popping into your head. It’s all part of the service here at Reviewsbyjessewave.)
Did you know the average male’s balls weigh between .875 and 1.75 ounces and are about 1.4 inches long by 1 inch wide? This makes them, according to one website, about the size of large olives. Olives? Walnuts? What sort of salad is the male body? (A yummy one, you say? Pervs!) Another site claims the average speed of an ejaculation is 27 miles per hour, and that these little babies produce 14 gallons over a lifetime. Yowza.
The BBC website claims the majority of the stuff produced by those lovely man-olives is in the form of fructose, “the same stuff you find in a glass of fruit juice.” (Fruit juice. Berries. “Oh the places you’ll go!”) Another site claims the nutritional value (and yes, I knew you all wanted to know this!) in all that joy juice is equal to that of an egg white. Most bizarrely, they then encourage the reader to eat the egg white instead! Now where’s the fun in that?!
In other, unrelated ball news, Basketballs are 29 1/2-30 inches in circumference and weigh 20-22 oz for men in NCAA play (Rock Chalk Jayhawk! Go KU! [Sorry. It’s March Madness time, people.]). Golf balls can
weigh no more than 1.62 oz, must be at least 1.68 inches in diameter and can have anywhere from 400 to 1000 of those cute little aerodynamic dimples. Those fuzzy little tennis balls have some mind-numbingly dull drop/bounce requirements, but weigh from 2.00 to 2.07 oz. Baseballs, the ball of the Great American Pastime, are not manufactured in the US at all, which I find hilariously ironic. Oh, and they weigh between 5 and 5 1/4 oz.
Okay, enough of the boring sports mess. Talk to me about your favorite balls. Don’t be afraid to talk texture, size, taste, etc. Personally, I prefer the ones attached to a hunky man. After all, they’re the only ones with a built-in reward for a job well done. Take that, trophy whores!
Wow! No one has commented yet. Let’s get this ball rolling! 😀 First off, let me just thank you Buda, for all the effort it seems you’ve put into reasearching this topic. I have to say I’m a fan of balls. But I would also have to say, that my very favorite ones would be covered and smothered in chocolate. :hurrah: Oh, and hockey? Isn’t that where you go to eat, drink and watch tv? :bananadancer: Thanks for a fun post, Buda!
Thanks for starting the boys and girls rolling, Marilyn! 🙂 Chocolate is one of my absolute favorite things. And, hey, if it comes in ball shape, even better!
We will discuss your under-appreciation for hockey later. You did see Mike Fisher, right? Some days I really hate Carrie Underwood!
Actually, I have seen Mike Fisher, he’s ok. But he’s no Carrie Underwood…just sayin :pant:
Really? See, to me she’s just cute with one helluva voice. But Mike? Baby, I could make an all-day sucker out of that torso! And those nips? Yummers!
The things you have to do in the name of research Buda certainly deserves a compliment :bravo:
Our national sport is football, only you will call it soccer anyway. I find it always funny to see how the boys are guarding their family jewels during a free kick 😆
Hi, Ingrid! Thanks so much! I enjoy watching the boys play football/soccer, but I will never understand why the pitch is so big. Why not have all those hunky men in a much tighter space so you can see them all at once? 😉
Oh my gosh! I think rugby is my new favorite sport. Have you seen a picture of Ben Cohen? http://ben-cohen.com I think I love rugby balls. 😀
Excellent Friday post, Buda. I needed this smile after a rough start to my morning. :bravo:
Love these green balls, too.
Ben Cohen is a hottie, Patty, and very much enjoys his gay fans. Have you seen Sean Lamont? *swoons* He posed for one of those Gods of Football calendars and 😯 Not that I’ve looked at those images much… *ahem* Sorry, what was that? Oh, right. I’m glad I could give you a smile this morning! Hope you had a great day.
Buda
Thank you. At last, although you took your own damn time!! Now I know everything (almost) about my favourite balls
I love research. But olives?? Walnuts?? Why is it that everything on a man’s body is compared to food?
Baseball is my favourite sport and I’m sure you know that players wear a specially constructed hard cup to protect their jewels. 😀
PS Love the visuals but the last one is the piece de resistance. What are they recruiting for? Maybe there’s a job for you? 🙂
Your next assignment is coming up.
Aww, thanks, Wave. I knew I had to finally get it done or you’d never stop hounding me! lol
I don’t know what is with all those food references. Makes me wonder what they compare nipples to.
I’m glad you enjoyed the prettification project on the post. I figured if I went down in a blaze of glory, at least everyone would have multiple somethings yummy to look at! The last picture is actually a recruitment ad for the Toronto Gay Rugby club, Muddy York. I love the scrum transported into the locker room thing. Thought it was brilliant. You can find info here: http://muddyyork.ca/
Wait. Next project? What have I done? *head|desk* 🙂
Buda
Why are you and Jeffrey publicising how gay Toronto is? BTW I never saw that ad and I live here. You really get around for a Kansas boy.
Now that you’ve done so well you didn’t think I was going to let you rest on your laurels did you? You have to pull in double overtime until Tj comes back. 😮
Please, girl. Everyone knows TO is Canada’s SF. I really need to visit one of these days.
Double overtime?! Man, TJ better come up with something better than silk straps when he gets back!
I prefer my balls large and smooth. No pock marks or dimples and certainly not distorted from their lovely roundness. Hush you, I’m talking volleyballs. 🙂
What interesting info. Thanks for sharing. Great job.
Thanks, Tam! Volleyballs are great. Especially when being played with by half-nekkid men on a beach.
😆 :hysterics:
:anonym: says: Hunky men and his attachments are an all time favorite :evilgrin:
Thank you for your great post :great:
Aww, thanks, Helena! So glad you enjoyed the post. Mmm. Hunky men!
Don’t even get me started on men running around in the snow tackling other men in a game with no rhythm (straight guys–what’re ya gonna do?) trying to move the ball into the opponent’s “end zone.”
I wouldn’t be sure about the straight part, Buda. I’ve seen some of the moves them boys make…
I prefer my balls large and smooth. No pock marks or dimples and certainly not distorted from their lovely roundness. Hush you, I’m talking volleyballs.
Well… I’m not. 😎
The bubble behind is the sexiest, yummiest part of the men. Gives bouncing whole new meaning and can bring tears to woman’s (and man’s) eyes.
Lovely peace of… research, Buda. We can all testify to that. :XD:
LOL Thanks, LadyM! So glad you enjoyed the post. Those football players think they have us all fooled, like we don’t know they’re tapping Morse Code hotel room numbers on their teammates butts for a little post-game relaxation. Yes, I, too, definitely enjoy a nice bubblicious bum. Did David Williams’ agree with you?
Did David Williams’ agree with you?
*sigh* Did it ever. I would so play with that. :flirt:
Thanks for making me laugh Budapest! So how exactly did you get all of those guys to agree to letting you weigh and measure their balls? Oh wait, silly me. I’m sure once you took things in hand, so to speak, the reward was inevitable. 😉
You do realize that now I’m gonna be thinking about balls even more, like when I see egg whites, or drink a martini with olives. Thanks for the visual. Let me return the favor. Did you know that the smell of lavender and pumpkin pie combined increases the blood flow to a man’s penis by 40%? That’s more than perfume (3%), cheese pizza (5%) or buttered popcorn (9%). 😯
Love the pictures BTW. And Patty, I’m with you – Ben Cohen is very hot. He was just in the states last month and is very supportive of the LGBT community. Gotta love him!
No Tj. NO, NO, NO!
lavender and pumpkin pie – that’s my grand aunt, just so you know.I’ll never again be able to take my man to visit her! :hysterics:
Oops! So sorry Feliz! Well, you could just stay home, order in pizza and make popcorn! But you may have to work a little harder to get the blood flowing. 😀
TJ! Missing you, buddy! So glad I could make you laugh today. 🙂
You know I had to offer the test subjects (hmm…wonder if that word goes back to the Ancient Romans, too?) some reward for agreeing to participate. It was a win-win situation, lemme tell you!
The pumpkin pie and lavender information is hilarious and incredibly important to know! Can you imagine how many candles and pies you’ve caused to have purchased and baked today?
Glad you enjoyed the pretties. I was going to throw in a Gareth Thomas photo for you, but the one I found is far too yummy to be shared yet. You’ll have to do something extra special to get that! 👿
“I was going to throw in a Gareth Thomas photo for you, but the one I found is far too yummy to be shared yet. You’ll have to do something extra special to get that!”
Now you’re just being mean! :grumble: What happened to “be kind to your elders”? Alright, alright, I’ll let you tie me up this time. But don’t get used to it!
Guys
I should mention that Buda is at work so he’ll be replying to your comments on his breaks or when he returns home. So keep those comments coming [Did I say that?] 😆 :sex4: :wave:
This is great, Buda. When I was innocently here making my annual nutroll batch of 80 back in December and mentioned to Wave about my partner being the “self-inflicted ball weigher,” she jumped right on that. It’s all about quality control, you see. 😉 I had no idea at the time that it would develop into this little gem. My response to her, when she came back with the average weight you had found, was “How funny. So my balls are A LOT bigger than his.”
Lynn
There is no such thing as an “Innocent pastime” in my eyes. 😯 Balls least of all. 😀
LOL, Lynn! Yours may have been bigger, but mine have lasted longer! Thank you for being the start of all this torture.
LMAO! That was an awesome Friday post, Buda! I quite enjoy olives. And chocolate covered balls. And playing with volleyballs. Oh, and these little green balls –> 🙂 <– are pretty cool, too.
Did you know that the smell of lavender and pumpkin pie combined increases the blood flow to a man’s penis by 40%?
Oiy. Thanks, TJ. I have lavender hand lotion on my desk at work. Now I’m going to be having inappropriate thoughts at the office. 😉
Thanks, LC! I’m thrilled I could brighten everyone’s day. All this time, I never knew I was a fan of olives, but the more I think about it, the similarities are far deeper than just size…. Hmm.
You need to add a pumpkin pie candle to the lavender lotion and conduct some experiments in the office! You know, purely for research purposes.
My fave balls are small, aren’t necessarily smooth and full of yummy goodness. Gah, truffles are sooo my downfall. :delic: You know how people use code words to tell each other they’re in the mood? I’m thinking the new phrase should be “eat an olive”.
So, the next time I see any male eating an olive I’m going to giggle like the pervy girl I am. :yes:
That’s a brilliant code, Luci! I like it a lot. And now I can’t stop thinking about how very, very wrong that could go!
Martinis will never be the same for me!
Rugby is, notoriously, a game played by gentlemen with odd-shaped balls. :evilgrin: Welsh star Gareth Thomas (played 100 times for his country and former captain too – in Wales that is a very big deal indeed) certainly showed he had a big pair when he came out just over a year ago –
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gareth_Thomas_(rugby)
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen an olive that is 1.4″ long and 1″ wide. Where is it you get your olives from?
The picture of David Williams is a stunning addition to the Friday Guys.
Thanks, Buda. :sendoutlove:
Thanks, Allie! Gareth Thomas is a god among men, and not just because he’s ridiculously :hot: (And he so is!) I genuinely admire the way the man has conducted his life, even while in the closet, and definitely since coming out. Now if only those movie producers would get their heads together and find a real actor to play him in the movie! Mickey friggin’ Rourke? Seriously?
These are large (or jumbo) olives, my dear. You have to search them out special!
David Williams. Yummy, isn’t he? And it’s a damn shame he has an equally hot brother named John. Come to think of it, Sean Lamont has a pretty hot brother, too. Rory is his name.
Great post. Such fun. I too will be thinking a lot about balls over the next few days. Maybe it’s time to head to one of the male strip clubs in Toronto and do a little research myself. 😀
I always have lavender oil around so this gives me a good excuse to make pumpkin pie more often. I love pumpkin pie. :hurrah:
Jeff
Why are you trying to give the impression that Toronto has male strip clubs? I have NEVER seen one here and believe me I looked. :sex4:
Maybe you’re looking in the wrong places. 🙂 I know of two but one is male only… And as I’m sure you know, they take it ALL OFF in Toronto, so the research is easier. 😀
Now I know why I never found one because it’s male only. I have an idea for a Friday post since you have the research … err … nailed. Think about it. :sex4:
TO is a den of iniquity. :blush:
My friend Polt claims he’ll take me to one next time he’s in town. He says there’s one that allows girls one night a week. Or used to. 🙂
Thanks, Jeffrey. So glad you enjoyed the post. Please do let us know how the research turns out. 🙂 Pumpkin pie was already one of my favorites, but I think TJ just put it at the top of the list!
Hi Buda,
that’s hilarious – thank God I wasn’t drinking coffee while I read that. Impressive research, by the way.
Who was it that asked why men’s balls are compared to food all the time? Let me share a piece of completely useless knowledge :blah:
Anybody ever heard of a thing called Orchidometer? It’s a string of egg-shaped wooden objects (a chain of balls 😆 ) urologists use to guess a man’s testicle volume. Imagine the good doctor, shortly before lunch, one hand at either set of balls, :think: weighing them…Olives? Oh, no, I think I’d rather have plum cake…gosh, I could eat a dumpling right now…
That’s why.
Feliz
That was me and I want to know what you were doing with an Orchidometer in one hand and a pair of balls in the other. Do you frequent strip clubs with an Orchid thingy in anticipation of being asked to examine and weigh balls? You are such a perv. 😀
Wave,
I bet you’d want to know, but I’m not one to kiss and tell…err, weigh and tell 😉
Thanks, Feliz! I’m glad I could make you laugh–and without spewage, too! That Orchidometer sounds interesting. More than a little strange, but still interesting!
Oh Wow, thank you Buda! What a great start to the weekend 😀
You know that I’m going to have to test this theory now, right Tj? I love making pies so you just gave me a new idea: Pumpkin pie (cake would probably be better) with a Lavender Cream. It’s probably going to taste terrible!
I loved that last pic Buda, with all of the men so eager to pick up the soap. “Now Recruiting”… was that an ad for the Army? 😕
Anyway, I’m sure that the research for this was no hardship. err…well, you know what I mean. I’m going to take to the internet now, I think, and do a bit of research of my own. I’ve always been curious of the ratio of ball size vs. how far they hang :computer:
“You know that I’m going to have to test this theory now, right Tj?”
I was counting on it Cole! But lavender cream sounds kinda icky! How about just making pumpkin pie and using lavender massage oil on your victim, er I mean trial participant instead?
Cole
Clearly Buda hasn’t quite completed this project because more research is needed. I’ll have to give him a good talking to about the need for more thorough research. 😀
The hangage wasn’t part of the project, Wave. You wanted weights. That sort of information is going to require more research. And an expense budget. Those olives are damn expensive! 😉
Thanks, Cole! You know, the research had to be done time and again because I couldn’t take the risk of the results being wrong. It was difficult, but I managed to pull it off. *cough*
Isn’t that last pic great? I saw it and freaked the poor dog right out with my rather vocal reaction. Hmm. Now you’ve got me picturing hot soldiers on the other side of those out-stretched arms! Bad Cole. 😉
I just had the idea to do a little bit of research of my own. *counts the green balls on this post*
43 green balls on this post alone, another 5 balls on the sidebar. 😯
Now it’s 44 balls on this post. 😀 Great post, Buda. Just the right topic after a whole day spent doing spring cleaning. :dead:
C.
You promised me a fun post a long time ago and I haven’t seen it appear magically on the site. What’s the scoop? Too much time on research in the clubs? 😀
Did I? 😮 That must have been really long ago. 😉
Me? Clubs? :cow: I would do research in a strip club though, but there is no here in this area. ^^
Christian! :wave: So glad you liked the post. I’d say both of our balls were definitely hits if it didn’t sound awkward and potentially painful! I hope that since your cleaning is done, you can enjoy a little time with some pumpkin pie and lavender!
Thanks Buda that was, as these Fridays have now become, very educational.
Are there any country specific euphemisms for testicles?
In the UK I can think of goolies, as one I havn’t come across in any M/M books. Might be older slang.Oh and of cos bollocks……
Thanks, Raine. We’ve definitely had two interesting Fridays in a row. Not sure we can handle another one!
That’s a great question about country-specific euphemisms. I honestly don’t know what they are, but I’d lay odds a metric ton of them exist. I know bollocks, but hadn’t heard goolies. I think someone should research and report back! 🙂
Cajones and Huevos come to mind, (Mexico) and baghoines (though I no doubt butchered the spelling, in Ireland)….
🙂
Patric,
It´s cojones, guess if you say “drawers” no one it´s going to catch the double meaning 😆
Bolas it´s also used 🙂
Laugh! Thank you for the correction, Helena. If I can mangle Ireland (and I just KNOW I did) there is no reason to leave out Mexico/Spain. 🙂
This post brings AC/DC to mind: “Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they’re held for pleasure,
They’re the balls that I like best.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjkJfMrQ4bc
Excellent post, Buda! :cooler:
OMG, Wren! I’d almost completely forgotten about this! Thanks for the trip! :cooler:
“Now I admit to having come in contact with a few balls of various shapes and sizes over the years (Definitely not more than my fair share. Who am I, Ethan Day?)”
I really need to figure out who’s hemorrhaging the details of my personal life to this site! ; )
I have a feeling that lavender and pumpkin pie scented everything will soon be sweeping the nation?
Great post, Buda! I’m feeling more than my usual amount of nutty heading into the weekend. : )
Oh, Ethan, you know I want to be just like you! Wait. Are you saying you didn’t know about the voice recorded TJ swiped from your bedside table? He claims there’s video, too, but he won’t hand it over. Selfish bastard. :p
Thank you, sir. I hope you have a terrific weekend filled with as much fruit juice as you can handle! 😯
Buda!
What a great post, though I could wish *someone* would have warned me what I was in for before I sprayed the damn keyboard, again!
Here are a few other “nuggets” to add to your research:
Adolf Hitler, Napoleon, and Arnold Schwarzenegger only had one ball in the sack. (Sort of makes me glad I don’t live in Cali anymore.) 🙂
Conversely, during conscription for the Civil War, there were nine documented cases of men with three balls.
Anyway, thank you for the exhaustive, no doubt stressful research. As a condign reward for all your effort, here is yet one more “fact” you likely already know:
While arguably not as relaxing, at least in the classic sense, having testicles cover your eyes is far more beneficial than cucumber slices. The weight and warmth stimulates blood flow, and as you already noted, the payoff is greater. 😯
Have a great weekend, Buda, and thanks again!
Sorry Patric
I didn’t think you would be shocked after last week’s post about the prostate. Why are we always in a man’s crotch or close, checking out his walnuts or nuts? 😀
So what you’re saying is that if I have puffy eyes I should use two testicles over my eyes to reduce the swelling? I wish that women’s cosmetics manufactures knew that so I wouldn’t have spent so much money in the past. 😮
Well… I wouldnt say shocked. I just didn’t expect to laugh so hard! After all, I’m generally not laughing when I’m looking at the Friday Guys, and since I was busy wiping drool off my chin when I clicked the next link…. 😀
As for the cosmetics companies, I suspect the hardest (ahem) problem they have is harvesting the ingredients. Either that or its the insurance overhead that comes from having balls in your eyes. What to do with the accouterments from which the balls depend, and what the owner of said goodies is busy doing at HIS end, to your end. 😀
Patric
“Harvesting the ingredients?”
That picture is definitely one for the ages.
You have to stop this. I’m typing as I’m reading your comments and I want to save the keyboard from spewage. 😆
“Well… I wouldnt say shocked. I just didn’t expect to laugh so hard!”
Wow. What a huge compliment. Thank you. :blush:
I was trying to picture the sac-to-the-eyes thing and couldn’t help thinking how incredibly awkward the position would be after a while. What sort of equally-comfortable-for-both-parties chair would that require? Would it work the same if the one seeking eye therapy were standing up? Scary, scary stuff there!
Well, you know what they say about a poke in the eye… :whistle:
Patric! Thanks so much for the comments and compliments! I hope you got the keyboard all cleaned up!
I’d heard about Hitler, but not Napoleon or Arnie (shudders). I had an experience once with a guy with only one. He made sure to tell me about it before things got heavy. At that point, I definitely didn’t care. It just was, ya know? Like if he’d bent to the right instead of up. I could tell he was troubled by it, so I had to spend some extra time making him feel better. 😉 But that information might shed some light on the psychological problems of the 3 you mentioned.
So now “the boys” are better than cucumber slices? Hell, there’s another food comparison. When will it end? lol
My pleasure, Buda. Truly! 🙂
Like you, I’d heard about cupping the sack to swear an oath, but the etymology never dawned on me. Obvious, now that you’ve pointed it out, and *because* you pointed it out, I’m going to have to reconsider the old and new testament. 😯
I reckon when we stop eating, or stop having sex. 😀
Have a great weekend!!
Oh Gawd
How does one make a guy feel better when he has only one ball? Suggest that he investigate a prosthesis such as an olive? You caress the single ball and say that it almost feels like 2? Tell him you would never have noticed if he hadn’t pointed it out to you? Offer to pay twice the attention the the single resident of the sack?
I could go on ….. and on …. and on … but I’m not that kind of person tee hee. :sex4:
Gods! That’s awful, Wave! 😀
About the only thing you *could* say is “More than one is a mouthful…”
Heh
You started it Patric. I’m just a follower.
I like the last one about paying lots and lots of attention to the only resident in the sack. 😮
I wonder if there’s a picture of Arnie’s single ball somewhere on the internet? 🙂
So of course, what immediately comes to mind is that old saying about “leading them around by the balls….”
I simply have to face facts; I am hopelessly depraved. 😮
Love ya, baby!
So the one baller will only put out 7 gallons during his lifetime? or is that one ball doing double duty, working harder to get to 14 gallons, we may never know! wait…Buda might know! and, yeah, if they are not up to snuff, you gonna have to eat extra egg whites for the nutritional value!
Buda, you are hilarious!!!
Ha! You know, it’s been a long time, but I don’t recall any obvious difference in the amount of the “reward.” And trust me, it was a job well done!! 😀
“Adolf Hitler, Napoleon, and Arnold Schwarzenegger only had one ball in the sack.”
I knew the first, from a Dad’s Army episode where Pike gets told off for singing:
“Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
…”
(I think the tune’s Colonel Bogey, but I’m a terror for mixing up names of tunes!)
Hilarious! Thank you Buda, but seriously today you improved my English among other things :). I never knew that this is where the words testimonial and testament come from 🙂
Thank you Sirius! That was new information for me, too, but now my world will never be the same. Next time I hear some bigoted windbag shouting about how he wants to testify, I’m going to be rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter!
:hysterics: :hysterics: :hysterics:
I don’t think anyone’s mentioned my (second) favourite balls – they’re hard and red (unless you’re playing day/night in which case they’re pink!) and travel fast or slow, often with spin or swing towards the man at the crease, who’s waiting in his whites and pads to (hopefully) it ’em for six 😀
Cricket, of course!
(although whites seem to be disappearing from most games which is sad because have you ever seen a chap in whites with the sun behind him? Mmmm….)
Sandra, I don’t understand cricket. It’s like baseball morphed with croquet. But, hey, if all the players look like (a beefier version of) newly-out Steven Davies, then I’m all for learning something new.
*heehee*
That’s all. Just *heehee*
~Tis
I am now reading a book, Starfall by Chris Quinton. It has an alien in it with 4!! balls. 😯
Yikes! But the real question is how many peckers it, er… he, has.
Sort of adds new meaning to the phrase “Two in the tush.”
See Wave? Like I said. Depraved. *headdesk*
Patric, I have no clue … yet. I am sure I will find out shortly 😉
Ingrid
Please let me know when you find out. This calls for my investigative skills. 😯
Ingrid…
I will be looking forward to your findings. 😀
Wave…
I’ll be more than happy to testify on the results of your findings. :crouch:
On a side note, in all the time I’ve been on-line, I never bothered with Emoji beyond the automatic conversions for a grin. Until now. Personally, I’m thinking it’s Christian’s fault for introducing these little green balls to the blog.
The trouble is, I’m not sure whether to thank him, or thump him. Laugh!
Actually, it’s a no-brainer. (Pun intended)
Thanks Christian!!
Don’t thank him yet. I want BLUE balls. 🙂
I absolutely GUARANTEE that only a woman would say that. Grin!
One of these days I’ll have to see what I can do about creating some ‘blue ball’ smilies for ya, Wave. Remind me, yeah?
Just one, but it has a few ridges. Sounded like fixed cock rings but with the ability to come 😀
Look at me just now getting to reading this very educational Balls article Buda wrote, dang bad me, but better late than never. You had me cracking up, made me think of something my hubs told my son, when he was about 3 my son pointed to his balls and asked what they were, well I was totally unprepared and looked to his dad and said that’s for you to answer, and he said “Them are you acorns, boy and when you grown up they will turn into nuts”. Ok by the end of that sentence I was trying to hold myself together from falling over laughing. But when my son came back and said “I better keep them away from the squirrels”, well I lost it then.
:hysterics: :bravo: Laura, that is the funniest thing I’ve hear this week! I love it! You made me scare the dog, I was laughing so hard! Thanks for reading, laughing, and commenting!