This post by Sean Kennedy (who is Australian) will be controversial but when have I ever steered away from controversy? Sean does have a point, but GBLT allies may feel that they, and the work they have done to advance the cause of gay rights, are not appreciated. However I would like you to read Sean’s post with an open mind and as usual, your comments are welcome, but please be polite.
**************
This is going to be a difficult subject to talk about, because when we talk about privilege and allydom feathers always get ruffled. But I think it is
important that these issues get discussed.
I guess I’m really bringing this up because this week the Macklemore song Same Love actually got to #1 on the Australian charts. My first reaction was, “Great!”
And I still think it’s great. A song about gay rights at the top of the charts? Fucking awesome! Especially seeing how gay marriage is an issue of contention and one frequently brought up by voters despite both sides of government refusing to allow it – and although approximately 63% of voters are said to be in favour of it.
But then I began to think about it a little more.
Yes, it’s a song about gay rights. But once again, it’s cushioned in straight opinions, straight feelings, straight reactions. Frank Ocean, despite a burst of sudden popularity, is not #1 on the singles chart with his song of same sex love. The queer artist is overshadowed by the straight artists singing about the issue (leaving aside the inclusion of Mary Lambert on the Macklemore single for one moment).
And that’s because the voices of the privileged always drown out the voices of minorities. The Boxing Day tsunami wiped out hundreds of thousands of Asian people, yet the film that gets made and gets acclaimed, The Impossible, is about a middle class white family who get caught up in it. Stories about minorities are always cushioned by a story about the privileged. Dances With Wolves was more about Kevin Costner and Mary McDonnell rather than the First Nations. To Kill a Mockingbird, Ghosts of Mississippi, The Long Walk Home, The Help, etc. are all about how white people were affected by the civil rights movement and how they helped poor downtrodden and oppressed African Americans. I’m surprised Milk actually focused on Harvey Milk (but then, he was a white man, which is also its own privilege within the queer community).
Within the Macklemore song we are once again seeing the voices of the privileged rising above the minority. It wouldn’t bother me so much if I haven’t seen the song be so lauded for it, as if it is a miraculous thing to be positive about gay rights. I suspect that if it was by a gay artist it wouldn’t be as popular. The majority likes the story to be about themselves. If The Impossible was about an Asian family instead of Naomi Watts and Ewan McGregor it wouldn’t be as visible to the mainstream public as it is. Macklemore are also praised for being brave. And, yes, within the hiphop community there is a lot of homophobia
But it’s not ‘brave’ to be supportive of gay rights – it’s actually just being a decent, hopefully normal human.
Being Brave is Frank Ocean, being queer within the hiphop community
Brave is Mary Lambert, a lesbian singer in that same community, even though she sadly ends up being the backup to a straight man in a song about gay rights.
Everybody is brave in their own way, but it’s disheartening when the actual voices of a community are drowned out by their supporters.
To prove that they’re out there, a song about gay marriage by gay artists, Tegan and Sara:
Sean Kennedy’s Contact information
email: kennsea@gmail.com
Thanks for these reminders, Sean. It seems to be part of human nature to first validate the voices of “us” rather than of “others.” It’s a shame that validation includes relative value as well.
I’ve heard a number of similar comments about the tsunami film. In fact I even made one. Then again, I’m one of the privileged critiquing the privileged. And identity is who we are socially, but also how we feel about it.
I’ve always felt a bit outside; that’s subjective. Why don’t I put an HRC sticker on my car? Because it would be identity appropriation or a brag? Or because I drive an old, rusting, mommy-van that I resist parting with for bizarre sentimental reasons, and it would be an insult to HRC? (Yes, a joke.)
Thanks.
Yes, privilege is a funny thing. We all have it in various degrees. As a white cis male in the queer community I have it far better than others.
Sean, you have a point, especially about the tsunami film. But give the kaleidoscope a turn. Call Macklemore one of the majority. The only way any minority can make changes in society is if the majority agree with them. The fact that a growing majority supports gay rights is a cause for celebration. Does this make society perfect? No, but it is progress.
I will agree that Frank Ocean is brave and I admire that courage, but that doesn’t mean that Macklemore is not brave. Doing the right thing, being decent and honorable is never easy. It is so much easier to keep your mouth shut and your head down. To come out so publicly in support of gay rights is the action of a decent man, yes, but it also took courage to risk his career and to open himself up to personal attacks. He deserves our support and admiration.
I’ll agree that society has many problems, but it is changing, even if that change feels agonizingly slow.
I get what you’re saying, it’s just that often the media and the public seem to laud them more for doing so than those that have to actually live the life.
Yes. The feminist community (the one I’m most active in) has these problems of intersectionality within the community, but possibly has fewer “outsider supporters” to hijack the cause than the gay community does.
And of course, privilege is sustained even among the gay community’s outsider supporters – for instance, apropos Wave’s Coming up this week post, it was Chris Kluwe, the handsome white man, who made it on to the Ellen show, rather than Brendon Ayanbadejo, who started the whole thing.
Once you start noticing privilege, it becomes impossible not to see it everywhere. And to realise that, if you have privilege, sometimes the best thing you can do is just to get yourself the hell out of the way of those who don’t.
Exactly. We all have different forms of privilege, no matter who we are. And I too noticed the shittiness of the white man becoming the poster boy over Ayanbadejo. Bias and prejudice in all forms is so insidious.
Guys
I just wanted you to know that Sean is not ignoring you, he’s asleep right now (different time zone) but he will respond to your comments when he’s awake and conscious. 🙂
I’m awake now. Not so sure about conscious.
This is an issue I feel so passionately about, that I just have to chime in. I am a straight women who lives in very conservative city in the midwestern US and a huge supporter of gay rights. Although I would never, ever compare my journey to the journey of those who are any orientation other than straight, I have to tell you, in some areas, being a gay rights activist takes guts, whether you’re straight or not. The truth is that history has proven that just becuase something is the decent thing to do doesn’t mean everyone will do it (think slavery, apartheid and more relevant for you, Sean, aboriginal rights). Truthfully, many people choose easy over decency.
So, keeping that in mind, I think anyone that stands up for the rights of others, when it is not always the most popular thing to do, can be called brave.
I do agree with you. I just think sometimes the allies in a community can drown out and speak on behalf of the community rather than echoing or amplifying them.
So is what your saying is that you would rather see the “allies” playing supporting role rather than the main role? If so, I agree and I think it’s just common sense that that’s the way is should be. After all, I can no more adequately descibe someone’s feelings about being gay than a mangay person can describe my feelings about being female. I think unfortunate thing, though is that the last statistics I heard about the gay population is 11-15% of the general population. That means they are “outnumbered” by “allies” and enemies by more than 6 to 1 and often the loudest voice wins. So I think, for right now, at least, the allies need to be as vocal as they can to dorwn out the sounds of hatred coming from the enemy.
But Sean, times- they are a changing. I firmly believe there will be a day when there are no longer “straight love songs” and “gay love songs”. The will just be love songs.
I have a true story to tell you that may give you hope. A couple of weeks ago, I went to a high school basketball game at my children’s school. The 2 teams playing were my children’s school (a rural public school) and my alma mater (a very traditional christian school). I sat on the home side and when I looked across the court at the visitor’s side, I saw an openly gay couple being ust as affectionate with each other as the straight couples around them. Yes, they were sitting with all the other fans of the conservative christian school and no one around them even batted an eye at them. Is was such a beautiful sight, I had to take a picture.
I think that, no matter what the subject matter is, what’s going to sell (whether it’s music, or fiction, or movies) is going to be what appeals to the majority — and what appeals to the majority is what the majority identifies with. Straight, cisgender, and white points of view are always going to dominate the market. It’s sad, but I don’t think that can change.
That being said — I’m really glad to see a piece like this up here.
To the others here — I don’t think that Kennedy is saying that straight allies aren’t brave, only that we need to stop patting ourselves on the back just for doing what’s right. When you give yourself a cookie for being a decent human being, it lowers the bar a bit, don’t you think? Instead, it would be better to focus on the ways we can be better allies.
Because, frankly, a lot of allies COULD be better allies, y’know? 🙁
Thank you. I’m not downplaying the role of allies by any means, just wishing that the actual voices of the community weren’t often drowned out by them.
Be nice if our Government could and pass an equal marriage act and make life fairer. It looks like New Zealand will once again be more socially aware as indeed they were when they passed laws giving votes to women well before Australia. Fighting uphill unless we can sink Tony Abbott and Bob Katter.
Yes, and seeing Aussies love to sledge Kiwis and beat them at anything, you’d think we’d maybe rush to beat you in the social justice stakes! I swear, it’s so fricking disheartening that even Labor have become just as bad as Liberal with their demonisation of refugees and favouring of discrimination etc.
Lol, Zanara! I keep hoping that Bob Katter will sink himself. Every time he opens his mouth, I’m just waiting for it!.
Without wanting to get too political though, I’m less disappointed with Abbot and Katter (I mean, we know they’re bigoted — they’re so proud of it!) than I am with most of the Labor party at the moment when it comes to marriage equity because Labor can actually make it happen and chooses not to.
Come on, you guys, be brave! You’ve got LGBT politicians in your ranks who have partners and children. And you’ve got the support of the public. Go for it!
I completely understand where you are coming from, and to a certain extent, I agree. However, I worry that there is always a danger that minorities will begin to reject non-minority voices, even when those voices are raised in support of the minority. When that happens, it has the potential to create new divides instead of healing old ones. Let me give you a case in point:
In my alma mater in the 60’s, an organization was founded by a group of black and white students in support of the civil rights movement. The organization participated in various civil rights demonstrations and made a difference in this community. But in the late 60’s, the black students in the club decided that they needed their own separate organization. The club was dissolved, and a separate, African-American-only club was founded in its place. When I was researching these organizations for a class assignment, I couldn’t help feeling that something was lost during that transition.
If equality is the ultimate goal, doesn’t every voice matter? If someone wants to be involved in the solution to a social problem, is it right to reject them simply because they are not personally affected by the problem in question? I’m just throwing out questions now. I’m not even certain of the answers.
I’m not in any way saying that allies should be made to keep quiet – I just think that often they take on the role of spokesperson rather than amplifying the actual voices of the minority. It then becomes more about them than the community itself. I wholeheartedly believe in fighting together.
I do understand and sympathise with the points you make Sean. However, in the case of gay marriage, sadly there are an awful lot of people who need to be persuaded to change their minds, and unfortunately (almost by definition, by virtue of the fact that they need to be persuaded) they are almost certainly more likely to listen to and to hear people who they initially perceive to be like themselves. You refer specifically to politicians – are they more likely to take notice of “straight” musicians with nothing to gain from the change directly, or those who they may well perceive to be a vocal minority with a vested interest?
It’s a little like the impact which US footballer Chris Kluwe has had speaking on the same topic in the States – because he is a married heterosexual he has no axe to grind, and indeed given the homophobia in US sports he has much to lose in being associated with the issue, but the fact that he has chosen to speak out (albeit originally to defend a fellow footballer’s right to free speech) has attracted considerable publicity to the issue. And it is possible that he has made a few football fans think about it, and maybe even change their minds.
Since I wrote this, I’ve seen comments about whether Kluwe or the first player to speak “should” get the attention. I hadn’t even registered the fact that one was white and other black, although I’d seen both talking about it, because I’m pretty colour/race-blind. But I think it’s a little unfair to assume that their colour determined who became the spokesman out of the two; I think that the reason Klewe caught everyone’s attention at first was because his letter in support was so very well written and articulate, and he is just as good in person. That probably says as much about a prejudiced perception that footballers can’t/shouldn’t be so articulate!
Thank you for this post, Sean. Even though it’s probably controversial opinion, I have to agree with you. IMO, too often straight people are awarded for something that should be standard,like not being homophobic, while queer peoples’ work is not appreciated enough. My friend recently told me that they’re scholarships for straight allies. Sorry, but what the hell?
Great post, Sean. Although I think this is a complicated issue, ultimately it is vital that artists of all races, creeds, sexual orientation, etc, be allowed to represent themselves *and* have the support of those who are not like them, but are compelled by their narrative to voice their support.
Small note on The Impossible – it’s even worse (the whitewashing, not the movie) than you think. The family whose story the film portrays are Spanish. They were made uber-white for the film, by Spanish filmmakers (!). Marginalizing their own people’s story… Sigh.
I’m doing work for one of my doctoral nursing classes and reading the Institute of Medicine’s report on the future of the nursing profession in the United States. It’s a wonderful document that articulates just how nursing can and should advance itself as an autonomous profession. This is the second or third time I’ve been assigned to read it in a class–it’s a very important document.
Only, there’s a problem–if you want to call it a problem at all. It wasn’t written by nurses. It was written by medical doctors. Ironically enough, because nurses have been struggling to establish themselves, and keep themselves, independent of the medical profession for over a century. (What unexpected allies!)
So. Am I–are we–angry at medical doctors for being the ones to write and present this report on the future of nursing?
No. We are, if anything, embarrassed that we were not the ones to write it, that we didn’t have a bigger part to play in producing it. And whose fault is that? If medicine is to blame, it isn’t the only one to blame. As a group, nurses are abysmal at speaking up for themselves as a profession, even to correct widespread, inaccurate media portrayals of themselves and common public misconceptions about what they do.
I couldn’t help but find parallels between that situation, and this post about gay rights.
As members of a group who find our voices “drowned” by “privileged” supporters, we should ask ourselves: Why is this happening? Do we have a united voice? Are we speaking LOUDLY enough? Are we reminding our supporters to include us? (In their enthusiasm to support our rights, perhaps they forget us–but not on purpose.) Is the public listening to us? If not, how do we get the public to see and hear us?
Surely, discouraging our supporters and telling them to butt out is counterproductive–to put it lightly. We need to encourage our supporters and show them appreciation, but also–KINDLY–remind them who this show belongs to and readjust the spotlight. Pointing fingers and slapping hands doesn’t advance a movement. Honest dialogue with and appreciation of our allies stand a better chance.
Believe me, I understand where you’re coming from. I too have been frustrated when a straight person gets a lot of praise and recognition for a “straight but not narrow” stance, and they are viewed almost heroically, while an outspoken gay LGBTQ activist is all but ignored. It’s almost as if the attitude is, “of course that guy supports gay rights, because he’s gay”. Therefore there is nothing remarkable or significant about him (or her) taking a public stand.
Yet on the other hand, when I was in the process of coming out some twenty-plus years ago, it was often the support I received from straight people that sustained me. Sure, it was embarrassing when my Mom joined PFLAG and outed me to the entirety of northern Michigan when she gave radio and newspaper interviews. But to me, her bravery in our small, close-minded town was beyond heroic.
I do roll my eyes when Brad Pitt and Angelina get all of the media buzz because they make a pro-gay declaration. I do feel some frustration when Brokeback Mountain is lauded as such a groundbreaking film while hundreds of more direct independent films were ignored for so many years prior. And I do sometimes feel a bit of irritation even within our genre of literature that the non-gay authors are far more popular than those of us who are actually gay.
But the bottom line is that we are a minority, and without the love and support of our PFLAG moms, straight allies, and heterosexual celebrities, we are likely to remain at the back of the bus for a long time to come. So I understand the point you’re raising, and I think it’s legitimate, yet I’m still proud of those who are straight but not narrow.